In Seaside

[Robert Lamb]

Yesterday I spent most of the day in Seaside, Or. Wearing my newest Maple Leaf Kilt.
As I was walking around I was approched by a woman and two men. The woman said her husband owned a kilt but would not wear it. As I was about to respond her One of the men piped up and wanted to know where "my pipes were".
I ignored him and told her she would need to keep after her husband, but he would need to get used to stupid questions such "where's the bag pipes" she laughed and the mouthy man said "ouch"
Later I overheard them talking about the man in the kilt.

[Alan H]

I have to say that I was OK with the "bagpipes question" for about the first thousand times. At this point it's starting to wear thin.

I KNOW, just because I've heard it a thousand times, doesn't mean THEY have heard it a thousand times. And... I also know that if you have to be mistaken for something, a piper is a lot better than a whole mess of other options. Nonetheless, while I've not snapped at anybody yet, I have gotten a bit short with people who've seen me in a kilt before, and know full well that I don't play pipes, but just HAVE to say it.

[Riverkilt]

Oh My God!! Haven't been to Seaside since 1962!! Once upon a time we had some sort of "riots" there...the early days of youth changing and running "wild."

Maple Leaf is still on my wish list...still can't decide between hand sewn wool or polyviscose. No rush.... Do wanna honor my family's proud Canadian heritage.

And, my standard answer to "where?" is "Under me kilt laddie." My standard answer to "Do you play?" is a long involved story about how I wanted to but found it was much too difficult etc etc etc....boring them to death with a torrent of enthusiastic hopes that were dashed by the reality of playing the instrument....hopefully, making them sorry they ever asked the question and reluctant to ask it of anyone kilted again.

Ron

[Alan H]

My standard answer to "Do you play?" is a long involved story about how I wanted to but found it was much too difficult etc etc etc....boring them to death with a torrent of enthusiastic hopes that were dashed by the reality of playing the instrument....hopefully, making them sorry they ever asked the question and reluctant to ask it of anyone kilted again.

Ron

I like this approach. The next time Peter Wong asks me where my bagpipes are, I'm going to back him into a corner and talk at him about bagipes for 45 minutes with no hope of escape.

[macwilkin]

I never have understood why it is such an offense to be mistaken for a piper. I consider it to be a great honour, especially when you view the youtube video that JS Sanders posted about Piper Richardson VC.

If I am asked if I play, I always respond with the auld line:

"A Scottish gentleman is one who plays the pipes...and doesn't!"



Todd

[sydnie7]

I like this approach. The next time Peter Wong asks me where my bagpipes are, I'm going to back him into a corner and talk at him about bagipes for 45 minutes with no hope of escape.

Alan, remind me never to ask you about bagpipes

[Panache]

Question:

"Do you play the bagpipes?"

Answer:

"Of course I do! Everyone who wears a kilt plays the bagpipes! You get a free set with every kilt. Scotland is inhabited entirely by bagpipers. The great forests have all been chopped down to make drones and millions of sheep are raised and slaughtered just to provide the bags. Everywhere you go there is constant piping 24/7. This is probably why there is such a high rate of deafness in Scotland!"

Question:

Are you a piper?

Answer:

"No, but thank you for asking!"

Question:

"Do you play the bagpipes?"

Answer:

"Not anymore. I once played at an aquarium and my pipes ran away with an octopus. I'm sorry I can't talk about it as it's a very painful subject to me"

Question:

"Are you a piper?"

Answer:

"Sadly no, I didn't meet the height requirement"

Question:

"Do you play the bagpipes"

Answer:

"Sort of, I play the air bagpipes. I'm quite good actually"

Question:

Are you a piper?

Answer:

"No, but I play one on TV"

Question:

"Do you play the bagpipes?"

Answer:

"I started to take lessons but spent all my time on X Marks the Scot .com instead of practicing!"



Cheers

Jamie

[CameronTaylor]

Are you a Piper ?

No, I'm a Cessna ... (and walk away making airplane noises)


CT -

[Dirk Skene]

Question:

[I]"Do you play the bagpipes?"

Answer:

"Not anymore. I once played at an aquarium and my pipes ran away with an octopus. I'm sorry I can't talk about as it's a very painful subject to me"

That's a keeper.

[BEEDEE]

I like this approach. The next time Peter Wong asks me where my bagpipes are, I'm going to back him into a corner and talk at him about bagipes for 45 minutes with no hope of escape.

I assume Peter Wong is Asian. Next time he asks, do what I did to an Asian doorman in Chicago in January - "Where's your chopsticks?"

Brian