Military Wisdom

**ErikGarrett** · 6th April 11, 07:38 PM

Originally Posted by Geoff Withnell

My own favorite:
If you see an Bomb Disposal technician running - try to keep up!

I was in Baghdad in '03 when a rocket passed through a wall and embedded itself into the floor in the middle of a room full of us, none injured but all covered in plaster quite suddenly. After the shock wore off, we called EOD, who arrive in their own good time, as EOD tends to do. They were Australian. We all stood around and gawked as the tech fished around in the hole that we thought the warhead was in and suddenly, the EOD tech says, in that lovely Australian manner, "uh oh."

I do not think any of us remember getting out of the building but we suddenly found ourselves outside, well outside, looking at one another rather wide eyed.

Thing is, the tech didn't run. Was he just having a laugh at our expense? (tankers aren't as full of bravado when unclad)

**Bill aka Mole** · 6th April 11, 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by Whidbey78

Those were fun, but if you didn't like the guy you could send him to the Chief's Mess to wash the coffee cups and coffee pot. That one never went over well with the khakis!! I think the bodies are buried on the golf course at North Island.

Only the ones shore based at North Island... Well, maybe one or twelve off the carriers when they were inport. (But you never heard that from me.

)

Skippys list will make this old Chief laugh... And find the flaws that Skippy never thought of!

I remember this one from the Engineering Spaces: It's always darkest just before the lights go out. And then it's really dark 'cuz your DCPO hasn't been checking his battle lanterns.

Scavenger list: 50 yards of waterline, keys to the seachest, relative bearing grease, batteries for the sound powered telephones.

Common but unusual questions:
How does the bridge always know that the man who fell overboard is named "Oscar?" ("Oscar" is the name of the maritime alphabet flag for the letter O.)

What three things does a diesel engine not need to run, but isn't considered running without them? (Noise, smoke and vibration.)

I have two U.S. coins in my pocket. Together, they equal 30 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are the two coins. (A nickel and a quarter. The quarter is not a nickel.)

Why can a Chief become an Officer but an Officer not become a Chief. (Chiefs have their own standards.)

What happened on the day that the LPO proved the Chief was wrong? (There was a new messdecks Master-at-Arms for the remainder of the deployment.)

**Coastie** · 6th April 11, 08:49 PM

Originally Posted by Bill aka Mole

Common but unusual questions:
How does the bridge always know that the man who fell overboard is named "Oscar?" ("Oscar" is the name of the maritime alphabet flag for the letter O.)

I can tell you as a QMC the entire crew knew what was about to happen when I piped "SN Myers, lay to the bosunhole" Of course you would not find SN Oscar Myers anywhere on the sailing list. Never once got called on it by the riders at REFTRA.

**The Thirsty Viking** · 6th April 11, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by Whidbey78

As a former AM1 I know #2 to be universally true, though many nuggets won't buy it. I wouldn't fly if the drip pans were dry.

We used to say "It takes a PhD to design an aircraft, a Bachelors to break it, and a GED to fix it."

AM3, here.

**Charlie Mc.** · 6th April 11, 10:52 PM

Originally Posted by ErikGarrett

I was in Baghdad in '03 when a rocket passed through a wall and embedded itself into the floor in the middle of a room full of us, none injured but all covered in plaster quite suddenly. After the shock wore off, we called EOD, who arrive in their own good time, as EOD tends to do. They were Australian. We all stood around and gawked as the tech fished around in the hole that we thought the warhead was in and suddenly, the EOD tech says, in that lovely Australian manner, "uh oh."

I do not think any of us remember getting out of the building but we suddenly found ourselves outside, well outside, looking at one another rather wide eyed.

Thing is, the tech didn't run. Was he just having a laugh at our expense? (tankers aren't as full of bravado when unclad)

We had a scud get shot down about half a kilometer from us and one of our guys found some of the casing. He picked it up and took it to the EOD Gunny to see if it was safe to keep. The Gunny took one look and took off running. Poor kid almost peed himself until he saw the Gunny laughing his head off. EOD guys have an odd sense of humor to say the least. Some Airforce EOD guys we were with at one point got busted for using their bomb robot to conduct a panty raid too. I have truly never seen a more creative group than bored Marines on deployment. We even conducted the first Kuwaiti Highland Games while waiting for Iraq to start. Tossing sand bags and using 6x6 beams for cabers. Improvise Adapt and Overcome, Oohrah!

**Southern Breeze** · 7th April 11, 10:18 AM

Thanks for the mention of Skippys list. I have a niece that's serving in the US Navy, she's guilty of calling the SAS wankers. I kiddeth not.

**Lallans** · 7th April 11, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by longhuntr74

The below link takes you to something called "Skippy's List". This list is a list of 213 things that "Skippy", a US Army Psyop Soldier, learned that he was not allowed to do as a Soldier...either through his own experience, or by observing his fellow Soldiers' interactions with the chain of command. This kid is every Non-commissioned Officer's / Commander's worst nightmare. His list is FREAKING HYSTERICAL!!!!

Skippy's List

Enjoy!

I have to say that Skippy is the E4 man.

**Bill aka Mole** · 7th April 11, 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by Charlie Mc.

We had a scud get shot down about half a kilometer from us and one of our guys found some of the casing. He picked it up and took it to the EOD Gunny to see if it was safe to keep. The Gunny took one look and took off running. Poor kid almost peed himself until he saw the Gunny laughing his head off. EOD guys have an odd sense of humor to say the least. Some Airforce EOD guys we were with at one point got busted for using their bomb robot to conduct a panty raid too. I have truly never seen a more creative group than bored Marines on deployment. We even conducted the first Kuwaiti Highland Games while waiting for Iraq to start. Tossing sand bags and using 6x6 beams for cabers. Improvise Adapt and Overcome, Oohrah!

When I was onboard an Ammunition Ship, we always had EOD when we deployed. We played with them one day by having one of the guys "sleeping" on the couch in the First Class Lounge play with the VCR player by using the remote contol. I nearly bit my tongue in two while supressing my laughs as the EOD would start the tape and sit down, only to watch the tape stop and rewind at the same spot in the program. This went on for about 5 minutes: EOD starts the tape, tape stops and rewinds. Then the man "sleeping" on the couch started laughing out loud and crying and gave the EOD the remote.