In my eyes the key to the solution is imbedded in one of the sentences you wrote. You "justified to your wife the purchase with the oft quoted line of "yes, I do plan on wearing it more than once.""
If you feel that you need to justify, you send the message that somehow you are crossing the borders of what is acceptable. Your daughter reacts to this automatically. There is no reason for inventing excuses. To wear a kilt is something perfectly normal and if you want to do it, you simply do it.