The fact is that most of us do not travel in very formal circles. A tux is something you rent; white tie is something we used to see magicians wear, so for those of us form the hinterlands, the rulse of dress are a little forwign. I think it's good to ask the questions.

Now I'll launch into a personal IMHO tirade which will, no doubt, infuriate the folks who balk at any rules whatsoever.

But, being old, crusty, and fairly conservative, I prefer the "traditional" way of dressing. The rules mentioned above as to white tie with white vest will serve well for truly formal affairs (as opposed to black tie, which is not formal). You can wear a charlie with a white, pique vest and white bow tie and be as well dressed as anyone in the place--and as appropriately so assuming there aren't any kilt-haters in the bunch. (If you go to a tryly high society event, there will be kilt haters. Being conspicuous is the ultimate faux pas.) But for really formal, I prefer a doublet. Now that's snazzy! And it is only really appropriate for evening, formal wear.

A black argyl with silver buttons is a good black tie alternative, too, if you put on a bow tie or plain, black long tie. Wear black leather with silver trimmings.

And one more "rule:" black tie if for after five o'clock, not for 2:00 PM. Many of us for whom a tux is a rarity think that wearing a tux or tails means you're really dressed up, no matter the hour. The fact is that a tux at noon makes you look like someone who doesn't know how to dress, and tails at noon are worse. With trousers, it's a swallow-tail coat for daytime; a black argyl would suffice with a kilt.

And one final "rule:" simply owning a piece of clothing doesn''t mean you have to wear it all the time. An evening plaid in the daytime is as bad as tails; it's simply out of place.

Contrary to the above, jeans are not OK with a tux jacket unless, of course, you are in high school or want to make a statement.

Now everyone can blast my conservative statements. And . . . you can wear whatever you darned well choose! The fashion police may cite you, but they won't arrest you.