I was kilted on my honeymoon cruise and can only beseech you to be "the man and a half in the kilt".

Order Guiness only at the bar, college boys ordering fizzy yellow water will respectfully mutter "of course" under their breath with predictable regularity.

Also be sure your wife has the smile that gets bigger when someone asks if she is with the man in the kilt. Not the guy, not the dude, the man in the kilt.

I would pack just the Argyle.