Y'all folks are like a disease!

[Kilted Karl]

There are definitions in the FAQ.
The "jones" is the waiting for an item to arive or be made etc.

Dear Bugbear,

Thank you! I learn something everyday.

Nimarie,

Karl

[ForresterModern]

But just what is "jonesing"? I am new and I think that x marks need a dictionary....

Your Obedient Servant,

Karl

Karl, there was a great thread about "jonesing" just about a year ago, here http://www.xmarksthescot.com/forum/f...onesing-64564/

Below is an excerpt of a post I made in it that pretty much sums up "the jones":

"The thing about "jonesing" is that there are a myriad of varieties of it----a regular jones is when you order a kilt and wait for its arrival, but it can be double trouble as it starts when you order it, may be amplified when you find out it will not ship immediately (most have to be custom made), amplified again when the maker sends you that email notifying you it has been shipped only made worse by the cruelty of including a shipping tracking code so that you may even further be tormented by checking its tracking status every five minutes as you electronically watch your next "fix" wend its way across an ocean and then cross-country, aching in your belly with each new updated stop along the way until, of course while you are at work, notification is made online that an "attempted" delivery was made but not consummated because a signature was required and nobody was home, so the hole in your belly has to gape even further for another 24 hours as you sign the pink delivery slip snd stick it back on your front door for the delivery service to leave it on your doorstep today (all the while hoping the slip does not blow off the door in the wind), so you tape it there with about 4 extra pieces of tape, then you have to go to work while salt is poured on your open gaping abdominal wound knowing that you have 9 hours til you get home to the soon to be waiting package. You are totally worthless at work as you cannot quit checking the tracking site until you see its status updated to "delivered", then spend the last few hours at work walking around like you have to pee really badly as you are extremely excited like a kid in a toy store, die another death as you have to stop for groceries or gas on the way home, another agonizing delay, then of course traffic is horrible and the lights are all against you, then you are finally home and throw down your work gear and race to the front door like a kid on xmas morning to find a package, the holy grail of packages, there, a small relief as the excruciating pain takes over when you cannot focus on how to most quickly open the box (why did they have to use so much tape, d@%$ it) practically chewing your way into the package like a starving dog, then another small touch of relief when you see it for the first time, see it and touch it and hold it. You race to your bedroom to drop trou' (aahhh crap, forgot to take off my shoes and can't get my pant legs over them!), then finally unwrap and strap that beauty around your waist with a short sigh of relief AAAAHHHHHH that feels so GOOOOD. What? What are those white zig zag threads keeping my pleats from swishing? BASTING STITCHES which take another 5-15 minutes to remove because your hands are now shaking so much (I don't care what they say it is never one snip and the whole thread comes out with one pull!). Then finally you can again strap on that new baby and twirl in front of the mirror to watch the pleats move. You grab the camera and --oh no, the wife is not home to take pictures! Have to post on xmarks that I got my new kilt but must have pictures so you shoot some in the bathroom mirror wearing short navy blue dress sockes and your penny loafers, without a proper kilt belt or pin, but can't qite get that pleat shot because your head doesn't spin around 360 degrees like a hoot owl's. So you grab some proper kilt hose, a kilt belt, sporran and strap, and some appropriate shoes (the best you have at the moment, they will have to do), WHERE ARE MY FLASHES, and, GOD this shirt looks terrible with the tartan---have to change, but into what? Where is that tatersall buttondown anyway. Oh good honey is home-----here dear is the camera, oh welcome home kiss kiss, here shoot some pictures of me in my new kilt SO I CAN POST THEM ON XMARKS because without pictures it didn't happen, d@&* the batteries are dead, must find more batteries.........


Okay, now do you have the idea about what a jones is ? There are a variety of jones variants---what happens when you are a little short on cash and have to order your own tartan, then wait a while while the funds reaccumulate before you can send it to your kilt maker to have her/him sew it up, then suffer while it rises slowly through their pile until it is your turn, get that email offering various pleating options and asking for final measurement changes? an extended jones of course, with multiple exacerbations. What about if you have to have tartan custom woven as your desired is not in stock at the moment? What if it gets stuck in customs? What if it arrives but heaven forbid does not fit or is structurally not right (sorry den--been there too) and you HAVE TO SEND IT BACK and start all over again, maybe more than once, maybe three times (hats off to den)?

Getting the idea yet? The world is a cruel place, especially when you are waiting, as patiently as possible, for your kilt. That is why it is probably best for most newbies to maybe order a Stillwater, because Jerry has it on your doorstep before you finish punching your credit card numbers into the computer keyboard. I do not believe anyone has ever filed a "Stillwater jones", no I do not think those two words have ever been utilized in the same sentence except maybe something like "The best news is that with a Stillwater thrifty purchase there is practically no jones because it arrives before you have even decided what tartan to choose."

There are innumerable variants of "the jones"---just do a title search for "jones" and see what pops up---it is a very individual thing despite all having the same common endgame theme. IT could be for a kilt, or a custom made sporran, or a sgian, or maybe a belt, or some tartan or diced hose, it does not really matter. You can even pre-jones when you have to wait til payday jonesing to be able to order your item of desire, then jones again waiting for it to arrive as above. you can-re-jones if you have to send it away for alterations because you put on a few pounds over christmas. Think of all the possibilities. It is endless. Then it starts all over again with your next order of something kilt related.

Next you find yourself at a twelve step meeting-----"Hi, my name is xxxxx and I am a kiltaholic. Crowd responds "Hi xxxxx." Okay I think you may be getting the idea about now.

Any more questions about the jones? Glad I could help. Excuse me, I think I need a shower now."

Jeff

[creagdhubh]

You are not sick---only bitten by the bug. As long as you are making the mortgage, putting food on the table, getting the kids through college, and setting something aside for your later years (kilted, of course), and not doing anything illegal or immoral along the way, you can spend your "discretionary income" on whatever hobby or lifestyle you please, and should do so guilt free. Just remember, no white kilt hose, tartan ties, flatcaps, or dishonoring the tartan, and you should do fine. Kilt on.

I agree! Well said!

[Kilted Karl]

Dear Forrester,

You did have to share the pain... Now I think I understand. Thankfully I am not Jonesing for anything... yet. I am making most of what I want at the moment.

But it is hard to sleep when you know that you could sew just one more seam and that problem that you were in the middle of when you had to go to bed could be fixed. And then you could start on the next....

I guess that could be a sewing version of the jones. now to finish my job and do some more sewing.

Your Obedient Servant,

Karl

[dutchy kilted]

Hey, how many support groups have meeting in pubs? Enjoy the addiction!

[auld argonian]

This bunch does get carried away with acquisitiveness.

Hate to be a drag but I've known too many people with real addictions to find the use of that term a positive thing.

As it goes with so many things in life, knowing "when to say when" might be a good course of action.

Best

AA

[Riverkilt]

And on the other side, I've worked with addicted folks at the level of detox, crisis, psych wards, prisons for the last 19 years and find no offense applying the term addiction to kilting. In fact, it seems to fit well. But then, I are one too on both counts.

[Livingston]

I tell you, there isn't a 12-step program for kilt wearers, because we all enjoy our addiction. You will have to live with your condition. After you have gone through your initial phase of trying out various types of kilt, you will start to settle on what you like, sell a bunch of kilts (I admit, I have become a pusher) thus allowing others to become addicted without spending a lot of money.
I'm now moving into the next phase. I have designed my own tartan and had it woven, and now I'm looking at replacing perfectly good kilts with the specific styles I like, and even considering custom weaves.
Others get into actually making kilts; still others can't keep themselves from creating sporrans, bonnets and even sgian dubhs.

Abandon all hope of normalicy, brother, we're doomed to nonconformity.

FREEDOM!

Ahhh, but there is...

We do have help for you with your kilt addiction in our 12 step program:

Step 1. Buy kilts.
Step 2. Buy Hose.
Step 3. Buy flashes.
Step 4. Buy sporrans.
Step 5. Buy kilt pins.
Step 6. Buy fly plaids.
Step 7. Buy jackets.
Step 8. Buy sgian dubhs.
Step 9. Buy shoes.
Step 10. Learn to make kilts.
Step 11. Hang out on X-Marks.
Step 12. Repeat as necessary and have a good time with friends and family.