Request to wear kilt at funeral - but I don't want to!

**tekdiver500ft** · 6th May 12, 06:45 AM

Originally Posted by JSFMACLJR

And I quote Chas, too: "Funerals are not for the dead - they are for those of us that are left behind"

Allow me to rant: there are many of us--that would be Episcopalians of an Anglo-Catholic stripe, and Roman Catholics, who take umbrage with this. A "funeral"--if it is a Requiem, is for THE SOUL OF THE DEPARTED. Prayers are not offered for the living. While the living may take comfort knowing that we are praying for the soul of a loved-one, the reason we should be there should not be forgotten. So, I disagree with all of the statements and platitudes--as if written in stone--that funerals are for the living.

End of rant.

PS perhaps this "Funerals are not for the dead " could be seen as an attack, however mild and unintended, on one's religion, and might be contrary to the Forum rules and regs. Just saying.

Okay. Yes, the funeral prayers are for the dead, but the service is for the living. I am Roman Catholic, and can still say that with a clear conscience.

**creagdhubh** · 6th May 12, 07:28 AM

Originally Posted by Zardoz

Since you were the first person to try and turn this thread to a religious issue, I'd guess you would be the one running contrary to the rules.

Let's remain cordial and polite to oneanother, and let us remember the basis of this thread. We all have our own perspectives on the matter.

Just saying,

**JSFMACLJR** · 6th May 12, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by Zardoz

Since you were the first person to try and turn this thread to a religious issue, I'd guess you would be the one running contrary to the rules.

I beg your pardon?

**artificer** · 6th May 12, 12:03 PM

This thread has completely jumped the shark.

ith:

**Mikilt** · 6th May 12, 12:22 PM

Tobus,
My condolences. I am sorry for the loss of your friend.

For the last several years, my uncle battled tumors on his head and neck, so whenever he was outdoors, he wore a hat. Let me say that he had so me great, even epic hats. Last week he passed and my cousin asked those of us who admired his hats to wear our own great hats in his honor. I attended the wake and funeral with a deerstalker (Sherlock Holmes) hat. Several people who knew him well commented on mine and others choice to honor my uncle in that way. It was very appropriate.

Nevertheless, I hope that you made the choice with which you were most comfortable.

**Gary Krueger** · 6th May 12, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by JSFMACLJR

Post deleted.

Recheck your theology. I am an ordain Catholic Deacon and have been for 30+ years...I can say that while we do pray for the deceased, there are many prayers offered for the family as well. I won't go into theology here but it's ok to say funerals are for the living.

**tky58** · 6th May 12, 02:17 PM

My condolences on the loss of your friend.

When my mother died last year, I did not wear my kilt. Like you I was afraid of drawing intrest to myself. However, I wanted to keep the attention on my father, who needed the closure after the previous horrible year he had caring for her. If he had asked, I would have worn it in a heartbeat.

I have not lived in Texas in about 15 years. Hill Country. Fredricksburg. One of the centers of Cowboy Action Shooting (talk about outlandish outfits). Less than 1 hour from San Antonio where, when I lived there, was a wild, colorful part at the drop of a hat. I don't think others are going to say much, especially since they got the same "wear colors" message.

Your comfort vs her wishes? Hard decision, I wish you luck with it.

Steven Wilson

**guardsman** · 6th May 12, 03:56 PM

when my mother died was the catalyst for buying a kilt, to scatter her ashes on the Forth, where she lived. A death of someone close makes you do things you have always put off.My mother loved the sight of a kilted man in full swing, if she could see me now. But to the thread, do as requested.Feel sad then cry, then regale and laugh at stories of the departed. Celebrate the man you knew

**Tobus** · 6th May 12, 04:29 PM

Thanks for the comments and advice, gentlemen. I had a hectic morning and was running late, and ended up just putting on khaki trousers and a tattersal shirt. There were lots of people there wearing tie-dyed shirts, but for the majority of folks who wore regular clothes, they provided strips of tie-dyed fabric to wear as armbands. The widow was, understandably, a wreck, and the subject never came up about wearing a kilt or not. To be honest, I don't even know if she would have noticed it if I had.