Curing Testicular Claustrophobia

**Riverkilt** · 23rd July 12, 07:47 AM

After much research I have concluded, as a licensed therapist, that many cases of male depression and male anxiety are caused by a condition I believe should be called "Testicular Claustrophobia." which is caused by long term confinement of the male anatomy in thightly bifurcated jeans, britches, pants, slacks, et.al.

The resulting depression and anxiety can be cured. Testicular Claustrophobia can be easily eliminated by wearing kilts in the regimental manner. Allowing the former prisoners to go free and function as Creator intended them to.

I believe all medical and behavioral health professionals need to know about this previously unrecoginzed condition that is so easily cured. Check your professional journals for detailed articles on how treating your manliness like an inmate will create the same mental health problems that confined inmates experience.

Also working on some "Parole Your Manhood - Wear Kilts" bumper stickers and t-shirts.

Organizing a lecture tour to speak at professional conferences on this maladay and proper treatment for the sufferers.

**Skiballa** · 23rd July 12, 09:10 AM

You should do one of those ribbons, and maybe a rubber bracelet as well, I'm definitely down for a t-shirt.

**ScotFree** · 23rd July 12, 10:20 AM

I can just hear the advert now ..., "You don't have to suffer with TC any longer. Ask your tailor about KILTOPRIN and see if its right for you. Side effects may include bare legs, loss of money, inflammation of the sporran, and sudden wool growth in the sock drawer. If symptoms persist longer than 20 years, post pics on XMTS immediately.

**Scout** · 23rd July 12, 10:23 AM

I'm thinking a nationally broadcast telethon. I wonder if Sean Connery is available?

**piperdbh** · 23rd July 12, 10:29 AM

Dr. Phil is always looking for the next breakthrough in counseling and therapies. Maybe you should try him, Ron.

**islandkilt** · 23rd July 12, 11:03 AM

I like it..

I'd only hesitate as to the term, 'parole'... perhaps I'm being picky, but you're referencing early, supervised release from criminal conviction under threat of re-incarceration for non-compliance...

while I may grant you the need for supervision of sorts...

it seems rather that we're describing release from false and unjust imprisonment, and I personally do not find myself amenable to terms that involve criminality... there was no trial, no conviction... it was never even established that a crime had been committed...

political prisoner...

a victim of society...

perhaps, "Free your Manhood!!" ??

(or both, expand your market..)

**Chas** · 23rd July 12, 11:19 AM

Well, Ron - Nobel Prize heading your way.

Medicine or Peace?

Regards

Chas

**LitTrog** · 23rd July 12, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by Chas

Well, Ron - Nobel Prize heading your way.

Medicine or Peace?

Regards

Chas

Definitely Piece Prize.

If we're taking issue with "parole," my prefrence would be "furlough." The period of leave granted a soldier. Or "unfurllow"

**cruiser348** · 23rd July 12, 12:14 PM

I can picture the t-shirts now, "Ask me how to alleviate your depression through the curing of testicular claustrophobia" on the front and "PARDON YOUR MANHOOD" in bold across the back.