Confidence building and confidence boosters

[Mychael Sporrano]

...I stay away from the bars that are shall we say "seedy" and have a bad reputation, but I have not had problems, just a lot of positive feedback.

The bars I typically see are those that are part of an eatery, such as the one last night. When I mentioned how iffy bars can be to the kilted individual, I was also referring to walking past them when groups are coming out. Give some folks a little alcohol and they feel pretty free to speak their peace, especially when a gang is involved! Of course, sometimes they do have nice things to say.

Speaking of which, it is funny how a little positive feedback can make my day. It bugs me that things work that way because a little negative feedback can do the opposite, and I am old enough that I shouldn't allow others, strangers in particular, to affect my day negatively. If I am going to allow the good things to sink in, it stands to reason that the negative stuff would also have an effect, I suppose.

Yesterday we had somebody calling around to see an item of furniture that we were selling. I decided to wear my kilt. I was unsure whether the husband or wife or both were going to call. As it turned out it was the wife. I opened the door we both said 'hello'.

Ha! When I am at home that is about the only time that I really forget I am wearing a kilt. It probably has as much to do with the fact that I do not have to concern myself so much with how I sit or bend to tie my shoes or pick up items from off the ground or floor as it does with my being in my home court. I nearly always forget about it when I answer the door, and I have to say that some of the reactions that I get are pretty funny. So far not one visitor has actually commented, and I go about my business as though things are normal, which of course they are- normal for MY house <g>.

I believe I mentioned my first outing in my post of introduction a few weeks ago, but since it is relative to this thread I will reiterate briefly. The very first time I wore my kilt was when I picked it up from Pittsburgh Kilts. I wore it home and when I got out of my car I felt very self-conscious. A couple in a Bronco drove past as I was striding (er, sneaking) into my house, and I hoped they didn't see me.

The very next day I bearded the lion and went shopping to a local mall with my 5 year old in tow, also kilted in a traditional style kid's kilt. Almost immediately an older man approached me and patted me on the back, calling us pioneers. He mentioned how he had taken a lot of grief himself 20 odd years ago when he took to wearing knee pants, otherwise known as 'knickers'. His words of encouragement seemed to officially break the ice as far as going out in public was concerned, and I was more or less fine afterwards. I guess we all need a good first experience, huh?

As for my wife... She was less than thrilled with having me wear a kilt casually, so that didn't bolster my confidence at all. But, like Derek's wife she was willing to work with me, and that was very important. Only later when I took her out with me for HER first time did she see it wasn't a very big deal. In fact, I received some compliments and that was her first good experience after which she has been not only fine with the kilt, but very encouraging of my wearing one.


Mychael

[bubba]

I can't say I've had any negative experiences yet, which is surprising in this redneck town. Men generally look, maybe smile, then ignore the kilt. Women, otoh, generally have complimentary comments. As for kids, the closest it got was some kids going past in a car yelling "nice skirt".
My wife loves the look and is completely supportive.

[Vince]

OK - I'll chime in on this one. The overwheming majority of responses I have received range from positive to wild enthusiasm. Only had one jerk (I was in Redneckville at the time) response from some kids going past in a car yelling "nice skirt". Hmmm, that's a long drive from Bubba's neck of the woods.
My girlfriend loves my kilts and has from the start. She especially enjoys watching other people's reactions. Lately she has been pushing me to invest in another 8 yd.

[bikercelt1]

Hang in there Derek! It gets better all the time, but nagging self esteem issues can crop up for even the most determined of us. Just yesterday I was running errands and ran into one of those self esteem demons. I've gone into the local feed store plenty of times. There's a lady working there who goes to the same church I go to. She always looks dour and unapproving, but a couple of visits back she started talking to me about my kilts and how her husband, who has Welsh ancestry, had stopped in a kilt store to have a look. I don't know that she full embraces kilts but she certainly isn't as disapproving as she seemed at first. Somebody forgot to tell me that yesterday was the shopping day for conservative disapproving customers though. I felt like the proverbial leper at the gate as people stepped back and stared while I was picking up things. I started to feel a bit self concious, but then I just thought " Okay, I know I'm a good guy, and if anyone wants to say something to a bearded wild-haired lug in a kilt with 80 lbs of feed drapped over his shoulder I guess I can take it!" I stood in line waiting my turn at the cash register. When I dropped the feed bags on the counter and pulled my wallet out of my workman Utilikilt I noticed that a line had formed behind me. For some reason when I looked at the line of customers behind me they suddenly found really interesting things to look at up in the rafters. I almost broke out in a fit of laughter. As uncomfortable as I might have been it didn't touch their discomfort when I caught them staring at me! I tried as hard as I could not to grunt as I snatched up the feed bags and strode out like a giant looking to take heads!

Squash those esteem demons and go out like you own the world.

Jamie

p.s. great insights Mychael, relly well put!