Limerick Thread

[CameronCat]

There was a young lady from Wilts
Who walked around Scotland on stilts.
When they said "Oh, how shocking
To show so much stocking."
She said "Well, what about kilts?"

A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison,
And had an affair with a Saracen;
She was not over-sexed,
Or jealous or vexed,
She just wanted to make a comparison.
(--Ogden Nash)

Said Wellington, "What's the location
Of this battle I've won for the nation?"
They replied, "Waterloo."
He said, "That'll do,
What a wonderful name for a station!"
(--Frank Richards)

[RectaPete]

A WWI era classic:

There was a young woman from Ypres
Who was hit in the cheek by two snipers
And to her dismay
The tunes she could play
Beat the Argyll and Sutherland Pipers

The rest I know are not suitable for a family-friendly forum...

[MNlad]

Of Limericks it is well known,
bad taste they've often shown.
It's not they're all lacking,
a common man's backing,
but most end with an audience groan.

[Mikilt]

Of Limericks it is well known,
bad taste they've often shown.
It's not they're all lacking,
a common man's backing,
but most end with an audience groan.

If limericks make you groan
Prose must make you moan
Of imericks I would never
Say they're less than clever
All around the world they're known

[Mikilt]

Just came up with this one.

Each morning I awaken
To hunger pangs achin'
With bagel in hand
I fry up a pan
Of bacon, bacon, bacon

[Mikilt]

While kilted one afternoon
A kiltie made a girl swoon
When she took a gander
At the kilted highlander
She went as crazy as a loon

[GrainReaper]

I tossed and I turned as I lie in my bed,
"Nothing rhymes with orange" danced in my head,
What an unusual word,
With a rhyme never heard,
But not sleeping, now that's what I dread.

[Mikilt]

I tossed and I turned as I lie in my bed,
"Nothing rhymes with orange" danced in my head,
What an unusual word,
With a rhyme never heard,
But not sleeping, now that's what I dread.

One day there came a masked stranger
Who we came to call the Lone Ranger
He'd yell, "Silver, high ho"
And he would go
To save some stranger from danger

[MNlad]

I well recall the Lone Ranger,
and the line, "Who was that masked stranger?"
And his Indian friend Tonto,
Who was always there pronto,
To pull his a** out of some danger.

[Mikilt]

People don’t like being told
That their family tartan’s not old
More like the others
The Sobieski brothers
Produced many plaids to behold