Limerick Thread

[MGMorrison]

My grandfather taught me this one when I was 14 or 15. Told me not to tell my mother. I remembered all but the third stanza-(i had to go dig it out; had written it down long ago.)
It is ok to rewrite- not off color.

The was an old man of the isles
Who suffered severely from piles
He couldn’t sit down
Without a deep frown
So he had to row standing for miles

A Scotland castle, bleak. Says the host,
"To all my ancestors, a toast!"
The front door opens wide
And enters there inside
A gust! A guest aghast! A Ghost!


Catriona, a pretty young lass
Had a truly magnificent ***
Not rounded and pink
As you possibly think
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

[MGMorrison]

From this thread I think I will run
Sadly, for limericks are often quite fun
but they eat up the day
and the clock ticks away
...my wife doth approach with a gun

[MGMorrison]

When out and about in my kilt
Pub's closing, and nothings been spilt
The last pint's been sold
So, outside in the cold
I'm amazed at how some things do wilt

[Mikilt]

To the mother who cheers so loudly at her son's football games...

Mom, I don't think you're lame
When you cheer at my football game
But could you try to be coy
And not scream, "That's my boy!"
I appreciate it just the same

[GrainReaper]

From Rocky behold my casual kilt
Teflon coating sheds the beer I spilt
The suds rolled right off
It's really nothing to scoff
Next time I'll drink with a bit less tilt

[GrainReaper]

Training is over and I've put down my pen,
I'm gonna be home at five after ten!
Im here at the airport ready to go,
But storms are causing travel to slow,
Would you believe that my flight is delayed once again?

[GrainReaper]

Im never on time so please hear my plight
I'm always delayed when I take this flight
First was a plane with a pilot not there
Now it's a case of storms in the air
Who likes to get home in the dark of the night?

[Mikilt]

Im never on time so please hear my plight
I'm always delayed when I take this flight
First was a plane with a pilot not there
Now it's a case of storms in the air
Who likes to get home in the dark of the night?

Grain Reaper's plane is parked
He'll get home after dark
But he's glad and here's why
At least there's wi-fi
So he can post rhymes on Xmarks

[GrainReaper]

Bored out of my mind as I'm sitting here
Toward poem and verse my mind starts to steer
Traveling while kilted is really a treat
And that Teflon coating is just hard to beat
But what's with my hose that are smelling of beer?

[Mikilt]

All we can do is cower
Before the storm's fearsome power
It's no one's fault
You are under assault
And delayed by a couple of hours