What to wear as a kilted groom?

[Jock Scot]

Of course, Jock. Please believe me when I say that my advice was given in good faith as well.

As for that cardinal rule not to detract any attention from the bride because "it's her wedding": I think this is flawed. A wedding, in my eyes, should be about the couple and their future life together.

That's why I say, if the bride approves, wear it... KISS.

The problem is the bride AND her mother have probably been planning this day since the bride was born, whilst us chaps think about these things rather later in life, say, a couple of months before the Big Day!

The problem here is with kilt wedding attire, particularly of the hired variety one can end up looking like an extra on a Brigadoon film set! Yes, there is modern kilt attire thinking and given the right advice the Groom can look OK. Should the more traditional advice be listened to, then in my opinion the Groom can look a fine specimen and still avoid the out-shining the Bride on her Big Day. Sadly the unknowing, with that added complications of fanciful ideas and misinformation ----as the question of the OP has clearly demonstrated-----can end up looking more like a clown! Which is of course, precisely why he is wisely asking the question to avoid that very situation. Remember, it is not us that will look at the wedding pictures in 20 years time and it won't be us saying between gales of laughter " OMG dad what the heck were you wearing?"

[gealach]

The problem is the bride AND her mother have probably been planning this day since the bride was born, ...

Have they? That might be a huge cultural difference between US/UK and Switzerland then. I know plenty of women who planned everything meticulously. But the vast majority started planning after proposal. I'm sure they will have phantasised about it once in a while but most of them get that, when the time comes they have to quit dreaming and get real and make compromises.


I completely agree with you that hire stuff can look dreadful. I also agree that one should be careful not to look like a clown. I even more agree with McMurdo and you saying, that to a day time ceremony you would go in a tweed Argyll if you were to do it properly. Absolutely... but not (Edit: you don't have to) if you're the groom.

I do not agree that one should not wear a PC during their own day time ceremony (which is where the discussion went). I find it's not necessary to dress down in that situation.

This was my only point concerning the original question.

[Jock Scot]

The problem is that the PC is formal evening attire and whilst if that is what you want to wear then go ahead, but---------------BUT one should not kid oneself that is proper kilt day attire in any circumstance and in passing, neither is a black bow tie(unless one is a snooker player or waiter, but then one would hardly wear the kilt for those occupations), nor is the wearing of a five buttoned waistcoat with a PC, nor is a drop down tie with a PC.

The black barathea silver buttoned argyll(BBSBA) is the formal kilt jacket for day weddings or the tweed argyll is for smart day kilted weddings. It may be helpful to those outwith Scotland and the UK as a whole I think, to know that most(all?) wedding services take place during the day and if the festivities continue on into the evening , as they can, it is perfectly acceptable for the Groom and guests from the day activities to go dressed in what they are already wearing. Guests arriving for the evening events only, should take attire guidance from the bride's family. Formal, smart, casual, whatever.

[Taskr]

MJB, congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

I also think the PC is a bit much, but I'm from the no-tux-before-evening generation. A black or charcoal jacket with what you're wearing in your profile picture would probably look very nice. That BBSA or crail would then be available for more wear than a PC might. That's one advantage to the groom, I suppose. We usually get to wear again what we wore for our wedding

[gealach]

MJB, congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

I also think the PC is a bit much...

Please guys, keep in mind that the question was wheter or not it was absolutely and under no circumstances possible to wear a PC during a day time ceremony.
The OP rightly recognised that, apparently, some people have very strong opinions about this.

With that being said, I still don't think he as the groom should let this influence his decision on what to wear. As a guest, I myself would NEVER wear black tie before 6, unless requested by the host for whatever reason.

@jock: Nobody ever said that a PC was proper kilt day attire. Because it isn't. MJB however planned on wearing a PC during the whole thing until he 'heard' that somehow some people might not like that. I guess it comes down to where you draw the line between convention and freedom in hosting a wedding.

[Father Bill]

I still say, please the bride (and her mother).

BUT if you're thinking of the P.C. as the rough equivalent of a "tux" then remember please that the alternate, and much more helpful name of the "tuxedo" is "dinner jacket". That is to say, it was expected to be worn for dinner - 7:00 pm at the earliest, and likely later. Thus, daywear such as the Argyle before 6:00 and then an hour in between, in which a gentleman would "dress for dinner".

I know that this musty old terminology is unfamiliar to many, much as it is unthinkable that the "drawing room" was where it was expected that the ladies might withdraw while the gentlemen moved on to what was often thought of at the time as the relatively foul masculine habit of cigars and brandy as they sat around the table after dinner and discussed such "horrid" topics (to the gentle ladies) as politics.

While we might well (and probably should) roll our eyes at these archaic, sexist usages, it's often helpful when looking for the best ways to do things, to remember the original uses of the words that describe and label the accompanying behaviours, and from thence, to know what clothing best reflects those traditional, and yes probably very outdated meanings and intents.

Hope that helps to add some linguistic perspective and thus clarify a wee bit.

[Jock Scot]

Please guys, keep in mind that the question was wheter or not it was absolutely and under no circumstances possible to wear a PC during a day time ceremony.
The OP rightly recognised that, apparently, some people have very strong opinions about this.

With that being said, I still don't think he as the groom should let this influence his decision on what to wear. As a guest, I myself would NEVER wear black tie before 6, unless requested by the host for whatever reason.

@jock: Nobody ever said that a PC was proper kilt day attire. Because it isn't. MJB however planned on wearing a PC during the whole thing until he 'heard' that somehow some people might not like that. I guess it comes down to where you draw the line between convention and freedom in hosting a wedding.

I was brought up with the mantra of, "if you are going to do a job, then do it properly". In seven and a tad decades one learns that that is not always possible, but one should at least aim to do the job properly. One cannot even begin to achieve that, unless one knows the facts, reasoning and the parameters.

[gealach]

I was brought up with the mantra of, "if you are going to do a job, then do it properly". In seven and a tad decades one learns that that is not always possible, but one should at least aim to do the job properly. One cannot even begin to achieve that, unless one knows the facts, reasoning and the parameters.

That's good for you, Jock. Albeit only half the age, so was I.

The OP learned, that what he has been planning to do was not text book. As for me, I'm very familiar with said facts, reasoning and parameters at least regarding saxon clothing. But whether saxon or Highland Dress, conventions remain conventions. And it is totally up to the host to decide, whether he wants to uphold them. You host, you rule. And in this case only his own attire, mind you.


@MJB: Obviously, I cannot tell you what to do. But I will tell you that I'm going all PC in just about the same situation. At the same time I'm sure you woldn't wear a PC at someone else's day time reception because then it wouldn't be up to you to decide.

[Jock Scot]

That's good for you, Jock. Albeit only half the age, so was I.

The OP learned, that what he has been planning to do was not text book. As for me, I'm very familiar with said facts, reasoning and parameters at least regarding saxon clothing. But whether saxon or Highland Dress, conventions remain conventions. And it is totally up to the host to decide, whether he wants to uphold them. You host, you rule. And in this case only his own attire, mind you.


@MJB: Obviously, I cannot tell you what to do. But I will tell you that I'm going all PC in just about the same situation. At the same time I'm sure you woldn't wear a PC at someone else's day time reception because then it wouldn't be up to you to decide.

Can I refer you to post 13 in this thread, line one.

[javankrona]

On that note that, "the PC is the relative equivalent of a tuxedo." Regardless of the time of day the wedding is to take place, has the bride decided that the groomsmen are to be fitted for tuxedoes? This I have found to be quite common, and if so, the groom himself would be quite properly attired in a PC. But again, looking at Steve's photos in the black Argyll, he'd be giving a gent in a tux a run for his money ")