Words

[Nick]

Polonius: What do you read, my lord?

Hamlet: Words, words, words.

Polonius: What is the matter, my lord?

Hamlet: Between who?

Polonius: I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.

(Hamlet II, ii, 191-195)

[Pour1Malt]

Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.

What's another word for "thesaurus"?

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.

I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I put instant coffee in a microwave and almost went back in time.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wakeup letter.

Hermits have no peer pressure.

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

[Blu (Ontario)]

The jogger who ran in downtown traffic was exhausted.

[smaughazard]

Some of these are almost Swifties*:

"Would you marry me?" Tom asked engagingly.

"You'll have to fill in the details," said Tom blankly.

"I want my bacon well-done," Tom said crisply.

"I need a pencil sharpener," said Tom bluntly.

"Oops! There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.

"I can no longer hear anything," said Tom deftly.

"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

"This must be an aerobics class," Tom worked out.

* Anybody else remember the old Tom Swift books?

[Caradoc]

* Anybody else remember the old Tom Swift books?

Remember them? I've got several on my shelf, in the collection with other SF works.

[GMan]

I went and took this thread to the coffee shop this morning and talk about laughing, everyone was rolling on the floor.

That bean said, I want to say thank you for the laughs everyone.

[Bill]

All shoe salepersons are well heeled.

They also have a lot of sole.

They can toe the line.

They can keep a secret too. Why? Because their tongues are tied.

A Bad shoe can make a "lasting" immpression on your feet.

They deal in "uppers".



Sorry guys it's an occupational hazard I sell shoes.

Bill

[Southern Breeze]

I went and took this thread to the coffee shop this morning and talk about laughing, everyone was rolling on the floor.

That bean said, I want to say thank you for the laughs everyone.

It sounds as if everyone perked up and forgot the daily grind.

1. Stealing someone's coffee is called 'mugging'.
2. Is coffee your daily grind?
3. Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
4. When he spilled coffee on her shirt she showed him dis-stain.
5. Does a coffee shop have the grounds to operate in the black?
6. Selling coffee has its perks for those who have bean so lucky.
7. Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
8. The coffee around here is break fluid.
9. I just had some coffee that was good only for its sedimental value.
10. When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.