Quote Originally Posted by Hachiman
First, please allow me to further define my question / topic: for me, this is more of an anticipatory strike, rather than coping with an existing situation... but I thought I'd ask and see if a) it's been discussed before, or b) someone has already had to deal with this situation.

Essentially, my (new) wife has informed me that while she's fine with me wearing a kilt casually (and formally, of course), my new in-laws probably won't understand why anyone would voluntarily wear a kilt without a formal occasion to attend (ie: casually). My wife believes that her family are too "conformist" ("socially conditioned", "narrow minded", etc - feel free to use the term you prefer most ) to understand or acknowledge any motivation to wear a kilt in a casual situation.

My question is this: has anyone encountered family members who (for whatever reason) are unwilling to attempt to understand why a guy would opt for a kilt over more "normal" bifurcated clothing? How did you deal with this "active ignorance"?

cheers

Hachiman
Well, I don't want to give bad advice here BUT (there is always a but isn't there?) I'm 43 and have been with my partner for 7 years. My in-laws and I have a great relationship and when I started wearing kilts they just went along with it. My Mom-in-law smiles occaisionaly when she sees me in one of my outfits but they have always just been "whatever". They know that i make their son happy. Same with the rest of that side of the family.

My sister is a bit different but knows better than to say one damn word about anything I do. We have a tentative truce (and have maintained this for more than a decade) so I don't pay a lot of attention to what she thinks. My mother is Irish (Dad's family is Scotish) so she understands it but is not quite accepting but again doesn't dare say anything about what I do.

Bottom line is that my family may have some issues (WOW is that an understatement) but I am my own person and in the end am going to do what is comfortable to me and what my partner accepts. I'm lucky with my inlaws that they pretty much are the "well, ok whatever works" types.

There is no excuse for prevoking one's inlaws - especially in the early on years" BUT you really have to make your own self known and let everyone else get over it. I sincerely hope you and your bride were on the same page before you married. If that is the case then you simply go about your lives and the kilt is just a part of it. They will come around.

My own experience says they just don't understand - YET.