Heart to Heart with my wife

[jannodanno]

When I first started thinking of getting a UK my wife was all for it, actually whe didn't think that I would do it. 2 UK's and 2 Amerikilts later she hopes that I will get more.

I think that she may like me wearing them more that I do myself.

[Kid Cossack]

Here's to Mrs. Cavscout! (And to Mr. Cavscout as well.) Kudos to you for valuing your marriage and working through this issue. "Heart to heart" open communication, negotiation, understanding and love---that's the way it's supposed to be!

[cavscout]

Mrs. Cavscout here,
Well, I have been reading all of your replies to my husband thread. Thank you to all who had kind, encouraging words. I am glad that some wives instantly like their man in a kilt. (I do wish I was one of them.) I just think that it is a matter of preference. I am sure that most of you prefer some of your wives outfits over another. And not to make you mad but here it goes.... It does still look "feminine" to me. SORRY That is where my husband says I need to be educated. So I am trying. But realize that sometimes after 30ish years of life it may take a while to "re-program" what is feminine and what is masculine. I do like that my husband is his own man and does not bend to what society says. And he does have very sexy legs so that helps. I have tried many of the suggestions that you have posted. (Going out in public with him, holding his hand etc.) It has not always been easy but I made that choice because I love him so much. We have been married for 11yrs and been together for 15. So whatever effort we have to go to is worth it. If any of you have any books or websites that I can go to to become more educated I am happy to give them a try.

Thanks

[Splash_4]

Hello Mrs. Cavscout and welcome to the discussion.

I can offer three books that helped both me and my wife

Matthew Newsome's patented advice for first time kilt wearers
J. Charles Thompson's "So Your're Going to Wear the Kilt"
Bob Martin's "All About Your Kilt"

I have all three books available and would gladly loan them to you. There is also a kilt book PDF located here that is very informative...

http://www.clan.com/kiltsandtartan/

If you are interested in the above books, have your hubby PM me and we will see what we can do!

Mike

[Splash_4]

Yikes, how could I forget our resident expert's site.

http://www.albanach.org/

Also, if you might be interested, there is a museum in Franklin NC dedicated to the tartan and it's wearing (http://www.scottishtartans.org/) that is less that 3 hours from where you are... Make it a romantic weekend.

[Dreadbelly]

This is not a sarcastic reply or anything, I want to make sure that is clear, it is hard some times in online forums to have clear communication and it is easy to take something the wrong way...

Do pants make a woman look 'masculine'?

I do believe it is an issue of programming. Once we overcome that stumbling block, things seem to clear up. It can be very confusing to confront that programming directly, because we as human beings are pushed to conform, submit, to obey, and not question. To challenge these implanted directives tends to result in all kinds of mental turmoil and confusion.

But they do clear. Given time, it is possible to break free and see things for what they are, however that applies to you.

[thescot]

Boy howdy. That Mrs. Cavscout is something else.

What a great gal. Cav, you gotta bring her to Conyers in two weeks. We need to know this lady better. I'll buy the first drink--maybe the second.

And besides, Ms. Cav, if you get around this bunch of lean, mean, kilted machines, you may change your mind. I know it's hard for me to ever think of a kilted Marine as feminine, and I think there is more than one of us who plans to attend.

Bottom line--good for you (Ms. Cav) and good for the Cav. If everyone was as smart as you, Cav. and me, we'd just be average. And if Cav wasn't who he is, you wouldn't love him.

Durn, this is cool stuff. I feel positively warm and mushy inside.

[Splash_4]

Durn, this is cool stuff. I feel positively warm and mushy inside.

Carefull there Jim, You know what happens when a scotsman get's that warm feeling inside...

But to echo Jim's comments. I too certainly hope we get a chance to meet in two weeks at the Burn's supper! My wife will be present as well.

[Robin]

Hello "Mrs.C"...Thanks for posting!

You know a traditional kilt is a garment for men, Steve most likely told you this several times (just a wild guess). No women's skirt is made like a kilt...the pleats, the aprons, the high rise, the leather straps, the weight of the fabric, the tartan and the craftmanship.
You say: "It does still look "feminine" to me." well...a kilt is a skirt, that's true and without the accessoires it can look like a women's skirt.

The wide belt, the sporran, the kilt hose and sturdy men's shoes...and sometimes a tie and jacket make the outfit complete and it becomes clear someone is wearing a kilt...not just a skirt.
(start to worry when Steve starts to wear high heels j/k )

The kilt is worldwide recognised as a garment for men and...the kilt was...and still is...associated with the military, bravery and even rebellion.
Your husband is very proud of his Scottish heritage and his ancestors fought many battles...probably wearing the kilt on the battlefield.
To him the kilt is not a skirt...it's not a midlife crisis oddity. It represents his pride and respect for something very dear to him.

Nobody can tell you to like it, but maybe you can understand it.

Kind regards,

Robin

[mddock58]

Mrs. Cavscout,
As I posted, my wife is not that different, though she has not expressed that it looks feminine, she is not one who likes to stand out. She is a Baptist Preacher's Kid, whose whole life was on display and at times ridicule if they were not what was expected.

I have known her now for just about 30 years, and married to her for 23 years. She still lives with the scars of opinions by foolish people. She is slowly accepting that I like wearing kilts, though sometimes it is thought of as an obsession, I respect her, and I try to make it easier for her, and listen when she would rather I not wear "IT".

I'm glad you love him enough to try to understand his differences, and are willing to allow the change, however gradual, within yourself.

Good luck! Thanks for letting us hear it from your perspective, that helps all of us as well.