I can't help myself, here's more:

A Texan rancher comes to Ireland and meets a Kerry farmer.
The Texan says : "Takes me a whole goddam day to drive from one side of my ranch
to the other."
The Kerry farmer says:"Ah sure, I know, sir. We have tractors like that over
here too."

and..........

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for seven days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him. He inquired of God, "where were
you?".
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the
clouds; "look son, look what I'm after making".
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "what is it?"
God replied, "it's another planet but I'm after putting LIFE on it. I've named
it Earth and there's going to be a balance between everything on it. For
example, there's North America and South America. North America is going to be
rich and south America is going to be poor, and the narrow bit joining them -
that's going to be a hot spot. Now look over
here. I've put a continent of whites in the north and another one of blacks in
the south. And then the archangel said, "and what's that green dot there?". And
God said "ahhh that's the Emerald Isle - that's a very special place. That's
going to be the most glorious spot on earth; Beautiful Mountains, lakes, rivers,
streams, and an exquisite coast line. These people here are going to be great
craic and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be playwrights
and poets and singers and songwriters. And I'm going to give them this black
liquid which they're going to go mad on and for which people will come from the
far corners of the earth to imbibe. Michael the Archangel gasped in wonder and
admiration but then seeming startled proclaimed: "Hold on a second, what about
the BALANCE, you said there was going to be a balance..
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them"