Absurd kilt myths

**Panache** · 14th October 07, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by pipesndrumsnun

...AND...I think these kilt police need their own theme song...

You should know better than to tempt me!

Can you tell me why the pleats are swinging?
Kilts have been around for hundreds of years
I've been on X Marks since Wednesday morning
Wednesday morning can't believe my ears!

Kilt police are looking through my closet
Kilt police are ironing out any crease
Rocky at USA Kilts has my deposit
X Marker, show your kilt, it's Kilt police!

Panache taken silly by the many
Panache taken serious by a few
Kilt police are sponsored by Matt Newsome
Matt knows what kilt hose are best for you!

Kilt police- I’ll heed your calling
Kilt police- to tartan I’ll be true
Kilt police- my heritage I’ll be recalling
Recalling for you

Loyal as any freedom loving Scot
I heed the words of the clan chief
Tell me of green hills never to be forgot
Am I in trouble with the Kilt police?

Kilt police are looking through my closet
Kilt police are ironing out any crease
Steve at Freedom Kilts has my deposit
X Marker, show your kilt, it's Kilt police!

They will never understand our Forum
They'll never understand the Kilt police
Kilt police are looking for a quorum
Tartan wool is bolder fabric than fleece

Let me dress in noble Highland Attire
Let me be dress like Hamish across the sea
On the flag pole raise high the Saltire
Let me go on a kilted shopping spree

Kilt police- I’ll heed your calling
Kilt police- to tartan I’ll be true
Kilt police- my heritage I’ll be recalling
Recalling for you

With apologies to Leonard Cohen's "Jazz Police"

Cheers

Jamie

**CameronTaylor** · 14th October 07, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by Riverkilt

I understand the drunks. Lord knows I solved all the problems of the World and knew everything even though I barely had enough money for another round...

I think we went to the same school ...

But a sober lady pontificating such bull to school children....

... Or anybody else. I had one tell me only clans can have tartans

Everyone knows the red in my clan tartans is because we're adulterous.

Aye, explain that red shirt in your profile pic then ..

Ron

CT - I Like Red !

**Monkey@Arms** · 14th October 07, 03:23 PM

Obviously time to polish up the old badge, just when I was getting ready to retire too!

Best regards,

Jake

**Nighthawk** · 14th October 07, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by cessna152towser

That is just such an amusing encounter Arlen. My single colour, denim or camo kilts have never attracted any comments like this. On the contrary, I find they attract a lot less attention than tartan kilts.

Yeah, I've had that same experience. When I wear my tartan kilts, people ask me if I'm Scottish. (Of course, the answer is "only partly, but born in the US.") When I wear my AmeriKilt, I get bugged by goth and emo kids wanting to know where I got it. Otherwise, no one really comments on the modern solid ones. It's odd- I'd think the new ones would be more confusing and attract more curiosity.

And on topic- I've been told that I shouldn't even wear a kilt at all because my grandfather is English. My grandmother on my dads side was a Scot, and my mother is Irish, but because my father is not the Scottish part of me, I shouldn't wear a kilt at all. Something about not being allowed to wear the tartan from the feminine side of the family.

**Nighthawk** · 14th October 07, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by pipesndrumsnun

YIKES!! The kilt police! You better be good and don't let your flashes be crooked or anything awful like that...the kilt police will GET YOU!
Sounds like a tail parents tell their children!

AND...I think these kilt police need their own theme song, and maybe a logo patch, too!

... are there kilt police in North America?!?!

:butt:

**Nick the DSM** · 14th October 07, 05:14 PM

hey can you do a spoof on Cheap Trick's "dream police"? lol

**fluter** · 14th October 07, 06:41 PM

Dang! Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings... a Leonard Cohen song I did not know. Thanks, Jamie!

**Panache** · 15th October 07, 07:50 AM

Originally Posted by fluter

Dang! Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings... a Leonard Cohen song I did not know. Thanks, Jamie!

Off Topic: Leonard Cohen's "I'm Your Man" is a really great album, it has the wonderful "Everybody Knows" and "Take this Waltz".

Cheers

Jamie

**ozone** · 15th October 07, 08:41 AM

Just for fun, I looked up the Lord Lyon. It's an official Scottish thing and supposedly comes from the time of Robert the Bruce. There is actually a "court" and their proceedings from the last three years are on the web page....no sign of any fines being levied for improper tartan wearing however.

Here's the link:

http://www.lyon-court.com/lordlyon/221.185.html

Also, here's the official line from the court about tartans:

"There are no strict rules on who has the right to wear a particular tartan. People normally wear only the tartan (if any) of their surname, or a "district tartan" connected with where they live or where their family come from.

Wearing a particular clan tartan indicates that the wearer bears an allegiance to the chief of that clan. A tartan which uses the name of a clan may only do so if the chief of that clan has given his approval to the particular design.

There is no official register of tartan. Records of designs are maintained by the Scottish Tartans Authority, Fraser House, 25 Commissioner Street, Crieff, Perthshire, PH7 3A Y.

The Lord Lyon has no jurisdiction over tartan but if a clan chief wishes, the Lord Lyon will record details of specific clan tartan in the Lyon Records.

Reference may be made to the following books available in many public libraries:

* "Clans, Septs and Regiments of the Scottish Highlands" by Frank Adam, ed. Sir Thomas Innes of Leamey (8th edition, Chapters XIll, XV, XVI, and List of Septs, pp. 554-570, Johnston and Bacon, 1970).
* "The Highland Clans" by Sir lain Moncreiffe of that ilk (Barrie & Rockliff, 1967).
* "Scottish Clan & family Encyclopedia" by George Way of Plean and Romilly Squire (Harper Collins, 1994)."

**ozone** · 15th October 07, 08:47 AM

Interestingly, here's the likely reason for the myth:

http://www.heraldry-scotland.co.uk/lyoncourt.html

As stated on this web page, the Lord Lyon is a real court and can levy fines for violations of royal crests and other heraldry....here's the quote from the page:

"

The misappropriation or unauthorised display of a man's coat of arms is a "real injury" under the Common Law of Scotland.

Accordingly the registered owner of a Scots coat of arms may obtain judicial interdict in Lyon Court against any person depicting his arms against his wishes or to his prejudice. The Crown and the public have also an interest, the former because in Scotland the fees on registration of armorial bearings and pedigrees are payable to H.M. Treasury, and the latter for prevention of fraud through improper assumption of coats of arms because armorial bearings are legal evidence which may be used in cases of succession and identity."