Snappy comebacks

**Casper** · 5th February 08, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by davedove

I left a waitress speechless when she asked where my bagpipes were and I told her "under my kilt."

I've used that on a friend of mine...

Originally Posted by Captain Karrot

For a woman, I really like -

"How warm are your hands?"

That's my most common one.... "If your hands aren't too cold, you can find out for yerself!"

**Prester John** · 5th February 08, 01:46 PM

I hate to admit it, but my favorite is ...

"Some guys just need more room."

**Jock Scot** · 5th February 08, 02:02 PM

You will also need to develop a withering look,you know the sort,the one that kills at 1000 yards.

**Nighthawk** · 5th February 08, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Captain Karrot

For a woman, I really like -

"How warm are your hands?"

Classic!!

**Brian F** · 5th February 08, 02:20 PM

"One yard of the my family tartan..."

Or any of the others already mentioned...BTW, the "lipstick" one works really good if your significant other is in viewing distance.

~Yeti

**davedove** · 5th February 08, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by Yeti

BTW, the "lipstick" one works really good if your significant other is in viewing distance.

You're trying to get someone hurt, aren't you.

**Makeitstop** · 5th February 08, 02:26 PM

For "the question"

That's for me to know and you to see on the news tonight
If you want to find out it's gonna cost you dinner and a movie (funnier when it's a guy)

(For alphakilts, sportkilts, and other kilts with hidden pockets under the apron) *reach suggestively into hidden pocket* Apparently it's somebody's wallet. *open it* Who the hell is that? (or any other prop joke you can think of for what you have on hand)

Why are you wearing a kilt?:

Because cops frown on public nudity.
To cover my dangly parts.
Freedom... Oh get your mind out of the gutter!
Because I can't find a pair of three-legged pants.
You ever see that movie Highlander? It's just like that.
WHO YOU CALLIN A PSYCHO?!
Sometimes a guy just likes to feel pretty.
Because crushed nuts are for sundaes.
It's to protest [insert bad thing here] (for extra credit, go on into a loud obnoxious rant, completely embarassing anyone you are with)

**ozone** · 5th February 08, 02:30 PM

I often state: "that's for me to know and my wife to find out" Works especially well with slightly obnoxious/drunk women to get them to shush and go away.