Interesting day at the cemetery

[JS Sanders]

Another interesting day at the cemetery….

When I pipe at graveside services, arrangements must be made to arrive before the funeral cortege. This entails locating the cemetery and the actual burial site - multiple services can overlap at large cemeteries. It’s considered bad form to pipe at the wrong one.

Upon arrival I do a preliminary tuning of my pipes and select where I’ll stand, etc. If the weather is inclement, hopefully the wait isn’t too long before the procession drives up.

This week, all that took place. It was a pleasant spring day with dogwoods & azaleas in bloom and the air smelling cleansed and renewed.

I took my position adjacent to the hearse and waited for the pallbearers to assemble. My instructions were to lead them and the coffin to the grave. All this is routine for a piper.

The coffin was slid from the hearse and the pallbearers had a firm grasp of it as they rotated it 90 degrees and began the slow march to the deceased’s final resting spot.

Fast forward a bit…. Among the deceased gentleman’s circle of family, friends, and colleagues he was renowned for his thrift. As explained to me, it was a sport to him to save an extra dime, or find an item at substantial discount, or even bending over to pick up a penny on the sidewalk. He wasn’t a bona fide skinflint, but simply took delight in saving and investing his accumulated fortune.

Back to present…. A gentleman such as this would have no part of a frightfully expensive wooden coffin. He wouldn’t even consider the durable, yet less expensive metal models. Instead, reflecting his passion for thrift, a cardboard coffin was used to contain his earthly remains.

If you’ve not seen one of these, they actually look quite similar to the high dollar models. By no means do they appear as an oversized shoe box.

Ordinarily most mourners would’ve never known this was a cardboard constructed coffin, but this occasion wasn’t ordinary.

As the pallbearers carried their burden towards the grave, I struck in my pipes. A few bars into the tune, I could hear shouts above the sound of my pipes. Instinctively, I turned around and to my horror, as well as all the others in attendance, saw that the bottom of the cardboard coffin had given way and the deceased was about fall onto the ground below.

A funeral director gestured for me to cease piping. He, other funeral staff, and the pallbearers managed to get the coffin and contents back inside the hearse.

I saw some quick consultation with family members and off went the hearse. Within an hour, the hearse returned. The deceased had been placed into another coffin of similar make and the funeral proceeded as intended.

A piper’s life for me.

Slainte yall,
steve

[Finn]

EEP!
That's a story you can drink on!
I am considering a cardboard coffin as more eco-friendly. Likely be torched, though.

[cessna152towser]

Hopefully that won't happen too often!

[auld argonian]

I should jolly well think that the "party in whose honor the entertainment was being given"* should get his money back!

Best

AA

*...not one of mine; it's one of Mark Twain's.

http://michaelfountain.blogspot.com/...etiquette.html

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain

[Coemgen]

Wow! You sure put the "fun" in funeral!

[Ozman1944]

FUNerals are my favorite! I intend to write a book on the funny events. I do many, both Catholic & Protestant; Both are equally as likely to go awry. Grieving people can do some very bizarre things, and Military Honors can be quite hysterical, from exploding guns peppering the mourners with shrapnel, to a flag that just refuses to be folded and takes several drawn out attempts, to an urn that doesn't fit in the niche after all....

My very first time officiating, my granny & I nearly slid into my Great Uncle's grave as the artificial grass gave way.... Uncle Jack would've loved it!

[kmaclea]

Wow, you win with that story. I fold!

K=

[Rex_Tremende]

Sounds like a scene from a B-movie farce.

I hope you were paid for both attempts at burial.

Regards,
Rex.

[OFCJAX]

"Pssssssssst. Your dead guy is showing."

[JS Sanders]

Fr Stan,

Search back a few weeks. I wrote of a graveside incident where a member of the USAF detail actually did slide into the grave.

I bet many of our stories would have considerable overlap.

Slainte,
steve