Panache and the Curious Affair of the Gin and Tonic

[Panache]

Panache and the Curious Affair of the Gin and Tonic


A Victorian Serial told in Chapters

Chapter 2

There was not trace remaining of the herald and I stood there on the empty landing speechless and horrified. A chill went up and down my spine as somewhere above me someone began to clap.

Spinning about I watched the Moderator David pick up his snifter of amber spirits from the railing and smoothly descend down the stairs toward me. As usual he was immaculately dressed in his formal kilted outfit and one of his beautiful hand crafted sporrans. The Englishman bore a wide grin on his clean shaven face. “Well done Jamie! Well done indeed!” he exclaimed in his silky cultured accent and clapped me on the back with his free hand.

“I didn’t have anything to do with …” I stammered before David cut me off.

“Now now Jamie, your first disintegration is nothing to be ashamed off! You should be proud! Think of this moment as the first step into a wider and more fulfilling existence. ”

“Honestly David I didn’t disintegrate Herald Dove! He just vanished in a flash of light.”

“Hmmmm… that sounds suspiciously like disintegration to me . My dear fellow just drop the pretense. You vaporized Dave Dove into his component atoms and there is only one question left!“

“And what would that be? I asked in disbelief.

“Who is next?” he said with a sinister grin and then promptly vanished in a flash of blue light!



The Moderator Bradley raced down the stairs onto the landing.

“JAMIE! YOU DISTINTIGRATED DAVID! “ He shouted in amazement!

“Err no I…”

“WELL DONE!” he exclaimed giving me a big bear hug in his tattooed arms.

“NO! I didn’t. I didn’t do anything! “ I disparately tried to explain .

“Oh you know he would have done it to you. Bravo for getting him first.”

“Honestly he just disappeared in a flash of blue light, just like Herald Dove.“

“You disintegrated Dave Dove as well? I know his agent wouldn’t return your calls but that does seem a bit harsh.”

“I DIDN’T DISINTERGRATE ANYBODY! THEY BOTH JUST VANISHED IN A FLASH OF BLUE LIGHT!” I yelled

Bradley regarded me with a rather queer and puzzled expression .

“People just don’t vanish in a flash of blue light Jamie”, he said vanishing in a flash of blue light.

I was alone on the landing and all was silent.



Silent?



I ran downstairs and crossed the Grand Foyer quickly towards the Concert Hall. Pushing open the massive double doors I spied, from the top of the ramp that led down to the stage past rows and rows of plush seats, the stage filled only with empty chairs and scattered instruments. Nelson’s lone hurdy-gurdy player stood near where I had made my abrupt entrance. He looked at me with a long sorrowful face and said “they left me behind again didn‘t they?” Before I could respond he vanished in another flash of light.



I ran back upstairs to the Library but found only Nelson’s and Todd’s unfinished glasses of whisky. Down the hallway I discovered Mike’s office was empty though his dreaded, ancient, and well used bloodstained mace sat in a charred spot on the floor, presumably where it had been dropped. Turning quickly back into the hallway I crashed into Colin! Based on his mass and speed (and physics being what they are) I was thrown flat on my back to the floor. The burly Canadian Moderator grabbed me and pulled me to my feet “What is happening!” he demanded. “I don’t know!” I replied.

There came a small beeping sound from my waist and the new belt buckle vibrated. A synthesized voice neither male of female stated emotionlessly, " Needle and Pin coordinates calibrated. Activating Thread. Stand by.” A soft greenish glow enveloped the room and faded. “Thread activated, Needle stabilized” concluded the voice and fell silent.


Touching the buckle I could a very slight vibration and the metal was cooler to the touch than it should have been. Colin asked “What does this mean?”
“I don’t know”, I repeated “but let‘s see if there is anyone else left“.



We searched the hall as quickly as we could and eventually we found ourselves back into the Library with the youngest of our Heralds, Arlen, our demented old butler Spasm, and Mr. Tibbles the badger. They were the only ones left in the Great Golden Hall we could find. Arlen was sitting in a brown leather winged back chair looking dazed. Our aged butler Spasm was offering him what he must have thought was a bracing drink ( though the bottle appeared to be of Branston Pickle). Mr. Tibbles, David’s trained attack badger was busy gnawing on a the leg of one of the large oak tables.



From the hallway came the sound of footsteps and we were delighted to see Trefor. Our Welsh Cartographer stepped into the room and poured himself a large whisky from the decanter and remarked “Hello all, is it just me or has everyone disappeared in a burst of bluish light?” He was assured we had all experienced the same thing. He nodded “Oh good, I was rather concerned. Well that and the fact that reality seemed to have winked out of existence beyond our little mountain”

We ran to the window and drew the curtains.

Looking down from our vantage point in the Library of the Great Golden Hall at the winding road that led to the base of our mountain, we saw Trefor was right. Where the road terminated so did reality.

Our mountain floated in a starless void.

To be continued...