I have a magnificent custom-fitted Tewksbury 8-yard box pleat Leatherneck tartan kilt that I wanted to debut for NYE this year.

As of yet, I've no sporran. This simply will not do.
Sure it will; Irish Army and Air Corps pipers rarely wear sporrans. Go on; wear your kilt.

I'll be working; dealing with drunks, domestic disputes, and thugs firing off their guns around midnight all over the city.

Oh, how I love working New Year's.
Sounds like NYE when I was a paramedic in South St. Pete. Contrary to conventional wisdom, our worst holiday was always Independence Day, hands down.