How to talk her into it?

[Jock Scot]

The part I don't get is we were at her cousin's wedding last summer and he had on the full rig in all its glory. She even said she thought it looked good. I guess I'll keep at it with the pics and see if I can change her mind.

Aha, there is your problem! Her cousin has already done it! Your lady wants to lead, not follow.

[sathor]

Aha, there is your problem! Her cousin has already done it! Your lady wants to lead, not follow.

I think that might be it right there.

That reason alone means it is a hard fight to win, and even if you do win, you will probably lose.

With luck, when my wife and I do a renewal of vows in a few years, it will be kilted. I'd have loved to been kilted for my wedding, but things were hectic, and I was traveling between MI and SC while she was going between MI and OH for the OH wedding, and doing the details there. (My dad was very sick and I was spending time there instead of where we were living or in Ohio working on last minute details. )

There were a number of issues that came up that weakened the wedding, our priestess canceled and we had to find a replacement, of the group of people we knew in MI, none that could officiate had the authority to do such in Ohio, except for me, and that was out of the question, and there were a few other details that made it a bit more difficult. We just got past our 5 year, I think she wants to do it for our 10 year.

[Tim B]

I ecountered a similar problem when I proposed renewing our vows in formal kilt attire. My wife was ABSOLUTELY against it, even though she really likes me in a kilt. Couldn't figure out why for the longest time. Then she confided that she believes that a wedding (or renewal of vows) is all about the bride... which any self-respecting verile male would agree...She felt that me in a kilt, being that it would be somewhat unusual in this neck of the woods, would be SO unusual that the emphasis of the day would be on the fact that I was kilted...not on the renewal of our vows, or her as the bride.

Reluctantly, I have to admit that she is probably correct. Those who would be attending our event, even thought some have seen me regularly in a kilt, would probably be much more attentive to seeing someone in a kilt in Des Moines, Iowa than to the radiant beauty of my wife or the blessedness of the occasion. Part of human nature, I'm afraid.

The debate is still on.

[piperdbh]

Perhaps a compromise will work: Wear the tux (with britches*) in the wedding (and the pictures), and the kilt (with those new hose you won!) to the reception.

Here's a little more advice on weddings: take the pictures before the ceremony, if at all possible. That way, after the ceremony, you can visit with your guests a little longer at the reception. We did that, but then the photographer wanted some more shots of just the two of us, which stretched into about 45 minutes, and by the time we got to the reception, some of the guests were already gone. While a wedding may/may not be "about the bride?, it's also about the guests, some of whom will have travelled some distance to see you.


*yes, there's an R in that word.

[starbkjrus]

I'm not very diplomatic and vehemently disagree with the idea that the wedding is "all about the bride". This is what has spawned the Bridezilla attitudes and ridiculous event of the century weddings.

A wedding is a union of equals. She gets to pick what she and her attendants wear and you get the to do the same for what you and your attendants wear.

'Nuff said.

[McClef]

This is HER day to shine. Giving her that is one of the best wedding gifts you can give her.

Chris...
(happily married for 22 years...)

In this modern age it's about equality and there can be nothing worse than a happy Bride on the day and an unhappy Bridegroom who is refused his chance to shine also.

Looking at the wedding pictures could lead to resentment when she has free choice of what to wear and he doesn't.

I bet the guy who modelled his ex wife's wedding dress on Ebay would have been happier in a kilt too.