Here is a photo of some Andersons at a funeral. Black tie and black flashes.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/trudem/2123064139/

As far as weddings is concerned I am just repeating my family's traditions. My father has never worn a kilt to a wedding unless the grooom is kilted. He feels that it is disrespectful. In the U.S., everyone is not Scottish and some people are offended by kilts. I have been accused of cross-dressing by a non-Scot, and I had one evangelical Christian tell me that kilts are for gays, although he used the pejorative term for homosexuals.