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  1. #1
    Panache's Avatar
    Panache is offline
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    And the results of the IRS vs. DMV battle (each side consisting of 500 personnel)


    IRS vs. DMV BATTLE


    Duration

    Total length of battle: 4 weeks (actual combat time 2 1/2 weeks but includes time for interoffice deliveries and mailings of TSP reports)


    Casualties


    Total Dead: 750

    Total wounded: 250, consisting of mainly severe paper cuts, staples, ulcers, migraines, burst blood vessels, and ripped out hair (generally self inflicted).

    Materials

    Number of mature trees used to make forms: 456,674

    Staples fired: 5,674,324

    Red ink utilized: 453,156 gallons

    Statistics

    Faxes sent: 564,345,445

    Faxes read: 5

    "Wrong" lines stood in: All

    Conclusion

    In such a horrific conflict such as this between inhumanly cruel adversaries there were no winners

    Only survivors

    And even they will carry the scars and red "REJECTED" stamps on their bodies for the rest of their lives.





    Cheers

    Jamie
    -See it there, a white plume
    Over the battle - A diamond in the ash
    Of the ultimate combustion-My panache

    Edmond Rostand

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panache View Post
    "Wrong" lines stood in: All



  3. #3
    Dan R Porter is offline Membership Revoked for repeated rule violations.
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    well

    The IRA won, they know how to set a bomb and then run away from it as apposed to wearing it!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panache View Post
    And the results of the IRS vs. DMV battle (each side consisting of 500 personnel)


    IRS vs. DMV BATTLE
    Jamie, you are of course assuming the battle actually takes place and doesn't get bogged down with bureaucratic paralysis.

    My thought is that the IRS would declare an audit, but the DMV would counter by closing down the station.
    We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. - Japanese Proverb

  5. #5
    macwilkin is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panache View Post
    And the results of the IRS vs. DMV battle (each side consisting of 500 personnel)


    IRS vs. DMV BATTLE


    Duration

    Total length of battle: 4 weeks (actual combat time 2 1/2 weeks but includes time for interoffice deliveries and mailings of TSP reports)


    Casualties


    Total Dead: 750

    Total wounded: 250, consisting of mainly severe paper cuts, staples, ulcers, migraines, burst blood vessels, and ripped out hair (generally self inflicted).

    Materials

    Number of mature trees used to make forms: 456,674

    Staples fired: 5,674,324

    Red ink utilized: 453,156 gallons

    Statistics

    Faxes sent: 564,345,445

    Faxes read: 5

    "Wrong" lines stood in: All

    Conclusion

    In such a horrific conflict such as this between inhumanly cruel adversaries there were no winners

    Only survivors

    And even they will carry the scars and red "REJECTED" stamps on their bodies for the rest of their lives.





    Cheers

    Jamie
    Didn't Nevil Shute write a story about such a conflict, with deadly bureaucratic paperwork circling the earth and killing off mankind?

    T.

  6. #6
    Panache's Avatar
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    I'm surprised this show hasn't started using characters from Sci Fi movies like:


    Star Fleet Security vs. Imperial Storm Troopers


    OK we all know that the Imperial Storm Troopers would win.

    Heck if it were Star Fleet Security vs. The Ewoks our favorite red shirts would be destined to come in second place.

    (After all Ewoks are scary little buggers with sharp teeth and strategy)


    Cheers

    Jamie
    -See it there, a white plume
    Over the battle - A diamond in the ash
    Of the ultimate combustion-My panache

    Edmond Rostand

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Panache View Post
    I'm surprised this show hasn't started using characters from Sci Fi movies like:


    Star Fleet Security vs. Imperial Storm Troopers


    OK we all know that the Imperial Storm Troopers would win.

    Heck if it were Star Fleet Security vs. The Ewoks our favorite red shirts would be destined to come in second place.

    (After all Ewoks are scary little buggers with sharp teeth and strategy)


    Cheers

    Jamie
    Ewoks don't have sharp teeth. Wookies, on the other hand....

  8. #8
    Panache's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by beloitpiper View Post
    Ewoks don't have sharp teeth. Wookies, on the other hand....
    Well they are preternaturally clever little creatures with a grasp of engineering and the black hearts to use it!

    They have rocks and stone clubs!

    They have stone pointed spears!

    They have medieval siege equipment?

    Anyway they are formidable foes

    Cheers

    Jamie
    -See it there, a white plume
    Over the battle - A diamond in the ash
    Of the ultimate combustion-My panache

    Edmond Rostand

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