OK, so if I take it to Iraq, get some mortar on it, beat the mortar off with a sledge hammer, soak it in scent-free fabric softener, wash it gently six times, hang it on a pipe to dry with clips on the pleats, and throw it in the dryer on cool with tennis balls it might not feel like I am wearing a sandwich board on my ****? Great advice, the dog is not going to like the taste of Downy on his (tennis) balls.