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  1. 4th September 09, 11:17 PM #1
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk
    Nighthawk is offline
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    Great whiskey, bad jokes!

    What do you call a woman with one leg?
    - Ilene

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your front porch?
    - Matt

    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
    - Bob

    What wears a fur coat and pants?

    - A dog

    What has 4 legs and no ears?

    - Mike Tyson's dog

    Those, along with a few drams of Highland Park and an Indiana Jones flick, make for a good Friday evening.
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  2. 5th September 09, 04:45 AM #2
    JolyStNicholas's Avatar
    JolyStNicholas
    JolyStNicholas is offline Inactive
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    Brought a smile to me face on this early morn!
    I don't believe the idea is to arrive in heaven in a well preserved body! But to slide in side ways,Kilt A' Fly'n! Scream'en "Mon Wha A Ride" Kilted Santas
    4th Laird of Lochaber, Knights of St Andrew,Knight of The Double Eagle
    Clan Seton,House of Gordon,Clan Claus,Semper Fedilas
  3. 5th September 09, 03:42 PM #3
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk
    Nighthawk is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by JolyStNicholas View Post


    Brought a smile to me face on this early morn!
    What's green, furry, has 4 legs, and will kill you if it drops out of a tree on you?

    - A pool table.
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  4. 5th September 09, 06:10 PM #4
    Big Mikey's Avatar
    Big Mikey
    Big Mikey is offline Registered Hobbyist
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    What's red and white on the outside and grey on the inside?

    Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
    Gentleman of Substance
  5. 5th September 09, 10:03 PM #5
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk
    Nighthawk is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Mikey View Post
    What's red and white on the outside and grey on the inside?

    Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.
    That's disgusting!! I love it!
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  6. 6th September 09, 06:33 AM #6
    BEEDEE's Avatar
    BEEDEE
    BEEDEE is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nighthawk View Post
    What do you call a woman with one leg?
    - Ilene
    And where does she work?

    IHOP!

    Brian

    In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
  7. 6th September 09, 09:39 PM #7
    Nighthawk's Avatar
    Nighthawk
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    Quote Originally Posted by BEEDEE View Post
    And where does she work?

    IHOP!

    Brian
    Excellent!
    "Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
  8. 6th September 09, 09:55 PM #8
    MacKay71's Avatar
    MacKay71
    MacKay71 is offline Oops, it seems this member needs to update their email address
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    Arrrg!
    Scott D McKay

    * The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits *
  9. 6th September 09, 10:15 PM #9
    bigdad1
    bigdad1 is offline Dormant Member
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    What wears green contacts and hides in trees?
    Elephants?
    Ever seen an elephant in a tree?
    Works huh.
  10. 7th September 09, 04:53 AM #10
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    Bugbear
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigdad1 View Post
    What wears green contacts and hides in trees?
    Elephants?
    Ever seen an elephant in a tree?
    Works huh.


    Actually, yes. It was a topiary.
    I tried to ask my inner curmudgeon before posting, but he sprayed me with the garden hose…
    Yes, I have squirrels in my brain…
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