Bigdad,

I know how you feel from both sides of the equation. After highschool I spent 14 very underfinanced years in various educational and training positions away from home before landing my first real paying job, and my father supported me all the way, either financially or psychologically and emotionally. I had an extremely busy week this week at work, literally getting home each night just in time to put my 2 yr old son to bed after eating a late supper, so I did not get a card in the mail. I called yesterday and wished my father a happy father's day, and we talked for a while, he talked with his grandson, but it still left me feeling hollow and incomplete the rest of the day, as if I had let him down, or let myself down in my own expectations of myself.

On the flip side, I have two adult children from my first marriage, from whom I have been estranged for more than 5 long years, due to progressive bitterness by their mother (now dead---not my fault) from divorce a couple years earlier. I put in those years of making sports practices, school events, coaching several of their teams, even sacrificing a part of my career going part time at work so I could devote my designated custodial time to them with no distractions for a couple years. I did not even get an email, card or phone call from either of them, despite having patched things up with my 22 yr old son several months ago. In my case, any recognition of my part in raising them and financing the lives of our family at a 99% rate for the first 18 of their years, and even still at a 50% rate now, any recognition would have been cherished. But no. I can only hope that there may be some belated wishes forthcoming, although my expectations are low.

Still, it was great yesterday to wake up to a tossle haired two year old's grinning face above mine, asking for something to eat at 0630 on Father's day. Works for me.

Happy Father's day to all.

jeff