When to Tip or Remove Ones' Hat

[Old Hippie]

Amen! Other lost courtesies include opening doors for ladies, helping a lady into and out of the car, helping a lady into and out of her coat, pulling the chair to seat a lady at the table, rising when a lady enters or leaves, etc

Those are lost? Whoa...who knew? I do them all the time. Years ago I used to regularly go vegetable harvesting with a friend of mine's wife. Many people thought we were happily married, because we were always polite to each other and never argued. At any rate, she always enjoyed the courtesy of an open door or a hand with her jacket. Her husband, an otherwise fine man, would simply say, "You're a person, you can open it yourself." Different strokes, I guess. (Yes, I wanted to belt him one, but correcting his behaviour wasn't my job...)

In re: hats. I was always taught that a man should remove his hat when entering any public building such as a library, court, police station, bank or government office. When entering a business for the purpose of a meeting one should uncover. If it's a store, the hat may be left on unless one is meeting someone or applying for a job. Hats may be worn in a bar, tavern or pub. If you are seated at a lunch counter you may leave the hat on, but if you are seated at a restaurant table or booth the hat should come off.

One also never yelled at an older man or woman to "come here!" You can ask them to wait, and go to them. Children learned that very quickly, and also learned to feel warmly toward adults who would walk over to talk them rather than ordering them over.

[Cygnus]

Many people thought we were happily married, because we were always polite to each other and never argued.

You'd think that would be a dead give-away that you weren't!!

[ctbuchanan]

At most highland games here in the northeast they play the Canadian national anthem, and occasionally God Save the Queen prior to the playing of our own national anthem. Should one remove ones hat/cap during the others?
To be honest, as a practice, I have not as I feel my allegiance is to the USA, but does that disrespect our guest who are here from those nations?

[Inchessi]

At most highland games here in the northeast they play the Canadian national anthem, and occasionally God Save the Queen prior to the playing of our own national anthem. Should one remove ones hat/cap during the others?
To be honest, as a practice, I have not as I feel my allegiance is to the USA, but does that disrespect our guest who are here from those nations?

Yes, You should always remove your hat for any National Anthem. It is a sign of respect.

[Cygnus]

Yes, You should always remove your hat for any National Anthem. It is a sign of respect.

While living in Brazil, I did this as a sign of respect. It turns out that nobody else present did; it was, instead, a rather raucous affair with a number of people dancing along (and I can't blame them, the Brazilian National Anthem has a wonderful tempo and beat).
What people do for their national anthem is very much determined by culture, so it's a good idea to see how the nationals behave and follow suit (though I'm not one to dance or "festejar" in this manner, so I continued removing my hat and standing quietly for the Brazilian national anthem and I think that still sent the appropriate message).

[Geoff Withnell]

I read this with some interest, as I have been on more than one occasion been accused of discourtesy because of my hat wearing custom. For religious reasons, I wear a hat essentially any time I'm out of bed and not in the shower. I'm an observant Jew, and it is our custom. I try to remember if I am going to be in a church, to have a kippah (skullcap) with me, so I can remove my hat and replace it with a kippah. However, in restaurants, etc, I do not. Please remember that in today's multicultural world, even a kilted man may have other cultural imperatives, and don't assume that failure to remove a hat, or follow some other custom is from ignorance or discourtesy.

Geoff Withnell

[Old Hippie]

At most highland games here in the northeast they play the Canadian national anthem, and occasionally God Save the Queen prior to the playing of our own national anthem. Should one remove ones hat/cap during the others?
To be honest, as a practice, I have not as I feel my allegiance is to the USA, but does that disrespect our guest who are here from those nations?

I do, out of respect and because I am a dual citizen. In any case, uncover as a gesture of respect, and if you know the words, feel free to sing along. It's not an "expatriating act" or an oath of allegiance, after all. My father was a long-time member of Kiwanis International in Oregon, which is (I think, not a member myself) part of a regional area that includes part of Canada. Both anthems were sung each week at luncheon. Loudly. By all present, only one of whom (a former Mountie) was Canadian.

Last weekend my wife, our oldest daughter, and I went to a rodeo performance. All present were asked to rise, uncover, and participate in the flag ceremony, singing of the U.S. and Canadian national anthems, and the opening prayer. Everyone did, though I noticed the volume on "O Canada" was a lot higher than "The Star Spangled Banner."

I always figure the good feeling someone gets from a gesture of respect or courtesy that you may not strictly have to perform (as saluting a superior officer no matter how you feel about them personally) far outweighs the agonizing over should-I-would-I. Besides, it's instructive to be alert to opportunities to be nice to people.