When to Tip or Remove Ones' Hat

[Cynthia]

And there are even special rules of etiquette for those of us who have wives with very long hair.

I'd fall into that category... do you happen to have any links that information might be on? I've not seen or heard anything like that.

And as far as people being picky about etiquette... I love it when someone is nice to me and doesn't let a door slam into my face. My husband always has opened the car door for me (I do the same for anyone -- male or female -- when I'm driving), and we both hold doors open for those behind us or if we see someone struggling to get through doors (carrying things or pushing a stroller).

It's just common courtesy.

I will say, I was very annoyed when my husband and I went to a nice restaurant for our anniversary and there were people dressed like they were hanging out at the beach and even wearing baseball caps. They were also very noisy and messy. Wish we hadn't been seated near them.

I don't mind if people don't know all etiquette rules (I don't know every rule), but I really wish more people would make an attempt to at least be civilized.

[Cygnus]

I will say, I was very annoyed when my husband and I went to a nice restaurant for our anniversary and there were people dressed like they were hanging out at the beach and even wearing baseball caps. They were also very noisy and messy. Wish we hadn't been seated near them.

I don't mind if people don't know all etiquette rules (I don't know every rule), but I really wish more people would make an attempt to at least be civilized.

It's because of this that I'm a fan of establishments with a dress code and I wish more places would have and adhere to them. It makes me seem a bit snooty, but your attire influences your behavior and contributes to the quality of everyone's experience. I think if those same people had been wearing more appropriate clothing they would have been less messy and probably less noisy.

[Tobus]

I'd fall into that category... do you happen to have any links that information might be on? I've not seen or heard anything like that.

You know, I remember her reading off a bunch of stuff to me, but I'm not sure where she got them. The best I could find on the internet was this, which isn't necessarily "etiquette", but more like a list of common courtesies for men to follow if they have wives with long hair. It seems to cover the basics.

My wife's hair falls to the backs of her thighs, so unless she has it up, she constantly has to worry about it getting caught in the car door, etc. I've just gotten used to helping her with her hair over the years.

I'll ask her if she has anything bookmarked on the subject and let you know if it's something different than what I posted.

[Cynthia]

You know, I remember her reading off a bunch of stuff to me, but I'm not sure where she got them. The best I could find on the internet was this, which isn't necessarily "etiquette", but more like a list of common courtesies for men to follow if they have wives with long hair. It seems to cover the basics.

My wife's hair falls to the backs of her thighs, so unless she has it up, she constantly has to worry about it getting caught in the car door, etc. I've just gotten used to helping her with her hair over the years.

I'll ask her if she has anything bookmarked on the subject and let you know if it's something different than what I posted.

It's been a long time, but I think I've seen that list -- it seemed familiar.

My husband doesn't touch my hair unless I tell him he can, and he's still very careful even if I tell him it's okay. He knows how to braid hair, but I hope he'll learn how to do a bun in case I injure my hand (I did have an injury once that gave me trouble for a day or two). I usually wear it up too, because mine is creeping closer to knee length again (it used to be mid-calf until I trimmed it back last year). He does keep an eye out for me for those rare times I do wear it down, like when he helps me put on a coat or opens the car door for me. Thank goodness! When I was younger, my sister and her boyfriend took me with them to see a ballet, and while he was very sweet opening my car door for me, he didn't realize he'd shut the door on my skirt.

[Old Hippie]

Amen! Other lost courtesies include opening doors for ladies, helping a lady into and out of the car, helping a lady into and out of her coat, pulling the chair to seat a lady at the table, rising when a lady enters or leaves, etc

Those are lost? Whoa...who knew? I do them all the time. Years ago I used to regularly go vegetable harvesting with a friend of mine's wife. Many people thought we were happily married, because we were always polite to each other and never argued. At any rate, she always enjoyed the courtesy of an open door or a hand with her jacket. Her husband, an otherwise fine man, would simply say, "You're a person, you can open it yourself." Different strokes, I guess. (Yes, I wanted to belt him one, but correcting his behaviour wasn't my job...)

In re: hats. I was always taught that a man should remove his hat when entering any public building such as a library, court, police station, bank or government office. When entering a business for the purpose of a meeting one should uncover. If it's a store, the hat may be left on unless one is meeting someone or applying for a job. Hats may be worn in a bar, tavern or pub. If you are seated at a lunch counter you may leave the hat on, but if you are seated at a restaurant table or booth the hat should come off.

One also never yelled at an older man or woman to "come here!" You can ask them to wait, and go to them. Children learned that very quickly, and also learned to feel warmly toward adults who would walk over to talk them rather than ordering them over.

[Cygnus]

Many people thought we were happily married, because we were always polite to each other and never argued.

You'd think that would be a dead give-away that you weren't!!

[ctbuchanan]

At most highland games here in the northeast they play the Canadian national anthem, and occasionally God Save the Queen prior to the playing of our own national anthem. Should one remove ones hat/cap during the others?
To be honest, as a practice, I have not as I feel my allegiance is to the USA, but does that disrespect our guest who are here from those nations?

[Inchessi]

At most highland games here in the northeast they play the Canadian national anthem, and occasionally God Save the Queen prior to the playing of our own national anthem. Should one remove ones hat/cap during the others?
To be honest, as a practice, I have not as I feel my allegiance is to the USA, but does that disrespect our guest who are here from those nations?

Yes, You should always remove your hat for any National Anthem. It is a sign of respect.

[Old Hippie]

At most highland games here in the northeast they play the Canadian national anthem, and occasionally God Save the Queen prior to the playing of our own national anthem. Should one remove ones hat/cap during the others?
To be honest, as a practice, I have not as I feel my allegiance is to the USA, but does that disrespect our guest who are here from those nations?

I do, out of respect and because I am a dual citizen. In any case, uncover as a gesture of respect, and if you know the words, feel free to sing along. It's not an "expatriating act" or an oath of allegiance, after all. My father was a long-time member of Kiwanis International in Oregon, which is (I think, not a member myself) part of a regional area that includes part of Canada. Both anthems were sung each week at luncheon. Loudly. By all present, only one of whom (a former Mountie) was Canadian.

Last weekend my wife, our oldest daughter, and I went to a rodeo performance. All present were asked to rise, uncover, and participate in the flag ceremony, singing of the U.S. and Canadian national anthems, and the opening prayer. Everyone did, though I noticed the volume on "O Canada" was a lot higher than "The Star Spangled Banner."

I always figure the good feeling someone gets from a gesture of respect or courtesy that you may not strictly have to perform (as saluting a superior officer no matter how you feel about them personally) far outweighs the agonizing over should-I-would-I. Besides, it's instructive to be alert to opportunities to be nice to people.

[Cygnus]

Yes, You should always remove your hat for any National Anthem. It is a sign of respect.

While living in Brazil, I did this as a sign of respect. It turns out that nobody else present did; it was, instead, a rather raucous affair with a number of people dancing along (and I can't blame them, the Brazilian National Anthem has a wonderful tempo and beat).
What people do for their national anthem is very much determined by culture, so it's a good idea to see how the nationals behave and follow suit (though I'm not one to dance or "festejar" in this manner, so I continued removing my hat and standing quietly for the Brazilian national anthem and I think that still sent the appropriate message).