Sorry to burst all your bubbles, but Columbus was actually of Arab descent, with a Dutch grandmother, before converting to Christianity in Scotland and eventually making his way to Spain. He was baptized with a first name of "Pedro", and did briefly dabble in politics, using the timeless slogan "Vote for Pedro" in his unsuccessful campaign.

There is a Viking connection, of course...the early piratical exploits of the Vikings made quite an impression on a young man named Vincenzo Columbus, who later in life captured young Pedro and made him First Mate in exchange for political deals with Pedro's existing connections. Upon Vincenzo's death, Pedro became captain of the ship, and his name was changed to Christopher Columbus in a nod to his former captain, and because "Pedro" isn't a very good pirate name.

Hewing to the Viking influence on his long-time and late captain, Christopher Columbus made for the Americas, having heard of good places to build timeshare vacation homes, and later to introduce SUVs, and the epic sport of rollerderby, which encourages both kiltedness and chick fights.

This is all established historical fact. I don't know where you guys all got that leftist-revisionist theory nonsense.

Happy Columbus Day .

-Sean