Etiquette lessons?

[wildrover]

This sounds like a good excuse to kilt up and make for a good steakhouse .

[Cygnus]

Lemme guess... in the UK, they hold it with their left hands just like they drive on the left side of the road?

Yes. And it's actually far more efficient; when cutting food in America, a right-handed person must switch the knife to the right hand and the fork to the left, then switch back to eat. It's a lot of wasted time and can get fiddly and increases the chances of silverware being dropped, which is why I much prefer the European style.

Left-handed people, though, would probably much prefer the American style.

EDIT: Davedove beat me to it... I hate it when work interrupts my post writing.

[Jock Scot]

Lemme guess... in the UK, they hold it with their left hands just like they drive on the left side of the road?

I did wonder if this subject would come up!

In the UK we do(this appears to be changing I notice) hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right whilst eating. I notice that our American guests put the knife across the back of the plate after cutting up the meat,for example, and then just use the fork in the right hand with the fork tines facing upwards as opposed to the UK(not sure about Europe)where the fork tines are facing downwards. When eating our sweet(pudding) we (this is changing too I notice) hold our dessert spoon in the right hand and a dessert fork in the left whilst eating.

If you are left handed(me!) you are still expected to hold the knife(or spoon)in your right hand and fork in the left. NO excuses are accepted!

[Lallans]

Cleane not thy teethe with thy sworde blade,
Nor with thy fynger endes.
But use a knyfe or some other cleane thing,
Then do you not offende.

Read that in college, always been my primary etiquette guide whereever I go. Especially the sword part. That's about as advanced as I probably get.

Amongst some, proper British etiquette is that you have to push everything onto your fork with your knife. I've seen some that only use the back of the fork for that, advanced practice I guess. I always thought this explained how the Brits stayed thin long after the rest of the English-speaking world lost the battle.

[artificer]

The biggest difference is in how you cut and then eat your food.

In the American side of the pond, while cutting the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right. Once the bite is cut off, you set the knife down, transfer the fork to the right hand, and then spear and pass the food with your fork to your mouth.

On the European side, once the food is cut, you retain hold of both utensils and transfer the food to your mouth with the fork in the left hand.

My mother taught us to eat this way as children. It is much more graceful than the constant juggling of silver that goes on when dining 'American Style'.
When eating as a child, I was always asked by other kids if I was left-handed.

This is, of course, a generalization, but fairly accurate. I have heard of tales where undercover American spies were suspected because they ate holding the fork wrong (no idea of the validity of this).

Maybe my mum was a spy...?

[Lallans]

How a cigarette was held used to work quite well also.

Where I live, there are a number of tricks like that used by certain law enforcement types to sort out real Canadians from possible Americans, often a formidable chore, and I'm sure vice-versa. Virtually all of them are verbal now. The fork thing would never have worked, if only because Canada is a jumble as far as that goes.

[Tobus]

In the UK we do(this appears to be changing I notice) hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right whilst eating. I notice that our American guests put the knife across the back of the plate after cutting up the meat,for example, and then just use the fork in the right hand with the fork tines facing upwards as opposed to the UK(not sure about Europe)where the fork tines are facing downwards. When eating our sweet(pudding) we (this is changing too I notice) hold our dessert spoon in the right hand and a dessert fork in the left whilst eating.

Excellent info, thank you.

I remember my twin brother, way back in our university days, read a book about etiquette and told me that keeping the fork in the left hand with the knife in the right hand was proper. I suppose it was a British book he was reading.

Oddly enough, I switched to that method six years ago after a horse-related accident injured my right wrist. It's easier for me to use my left hand for twisting the fork, and my right hand for the sawing motion of cutting. So I'm doing it correctly now (although I do have a bad habit of using the knife to spear my food and eat it straight off the blade, which I'm sure would cause high-society women to faint and their husbands to take me outside for an angry word).

[Whidbey78]

Unfortunately, dining etiquette is very far from universal. My wifes grandmother says silverware on the plate indicates a special appetizer being served--a rare or pricey treat from the host for honored or well liked guests. I haven't found anything in writing to that effect, so maybe it's just something in her circle of friends or a family thing she believes is universal.

I wasn't taught to keep the fork in my left hand, and nobody in my family does it. I do it because transferring the silver to the other hand and setting the knife down are two un-needed movements which result in more unnecessary movements to get the next bite. I believe in economy of motion while eating. I've had a number of people ask me if I was raised in or once lived in Europe. Can't say that I've ever "lived" there, but have visited a number of times.

Switching hands is just irritating to me, but I'm one of those mildly OCD types who can't stand the sound of silverware constantly being set on the plate, drink glasses being plunked down, etc. I also hold on to drawers and cabinet doors when I close them so they don't make excessive noise and turn doorknobs when closing the door so it doesn't "click." On the flipside, I'm listening to John Lee Hooker at an unreasonable, and even obnoxious volume.

In the case of the Navy Ball, checking the Mess Manual would be a good idea. I never saw such a thing at the Marine Corp Ball that I can recall...on the other hand, my birthday is November 10th, so the Marines in my command usually poured drinks down my throat all day!

[ForresterModern]

Wife, raised by full-blooded Dutch immigrants, uses the knife and fork in the aforementioned UK/European way, insists I am a heathen for doing otherwise, and is teaching our son to eat the same way she does. Also, elbows off the table, never hold food in the air more than a couple inches above your plate until you are ready to put it in your mouth, and absolutely never ever use the side of your fork for cutting something, except maybe cake. That is why God invented knives. Anything I forgot, Dear?

Regarding multiple silverware pieces at any one place setting I was taught a few simple rules that are easy to remember from my grandmother. Usually the fork and/or spoon set crossways above the plate are reserved for desserts (but not always). Otherwise you use utensils from the outside of the setting working your way inwards, using the appropriate utensil for the course provided (forks from the left for things that must be stabbed, spoons from the right for things that must be scooped), usually alternating from the fork side to the spoon side and back with alternating courses. That usually leaves you with a single left side fork and a right sided spoon and knife for the main course, then the dessert utensils above for that course. If after dinner coffee is served they usually will bring you additional spoons, or use the dessert one if it is not used for dessert. Waiters will also usually remove unneeded utensils as you progress through the meal, and if you use the incorrect one will take it away and bring you a fresh one (at least good waiters will).

So, outside in, proper utensil for the consistency of the course you are partaking at the moment. Simple.

Thanks grandma.

j

[Jock Scot]

Excellent info, thank you.

I remember my twin brother, way back in our university days, read a book about etiquette and told me that keeping the fork in the left hand with the knife in the right hand was proper. I suppose it was a British book he was reading.

Oddly enough, I switched to that method six years ago after a horse-related accident injured my right wrist. It's easier for me to use my left hand for twisting the fork, and my right hand for the sawing motion of cutting. So I'm doing it correctly now (although I do have a bad habit of using the knife to spear my food and eat it straight off the blade, which I'm sure would cause high-society women to faint and their husbands to take me outside for an angry word).

Er yes, spearing the meat with the knife and raising it to your mouth would indeed cause a sharp intake of breath in many houses in the UK! Nothing would be said if you were a guest as you would not be expected to know the ways of UK table manners and some idiosyncrasies are---- well---- expected from visitors from afar!It would certainly be a subject for quiet and discreet discussion by your hosts after the meal. If you were staying for a few days then you would no doubt cause considerable behind the scenes discussion on how to solve the situation!