Etiquette Help

[KenB]

Hello:

I'm a "newbie" and have been a shadow since I joined.

I am wondering if anyone can comment and/or advise as to when NOT to wear a kilt. For example, as an invited guest to a wedding and as the sole person wearing a kilt, must I worry about perhaps taking attention away from the bride?

Has anyone been in a situation like this? Is this something to worry about, or should I just kilt up and "care not"?

Many thanks.

[Big Mikey]

First, welcome aboard!

You raise a very good point. If the bride and groom are close friends, ask them how they would feel about your attending kilted. If they are merely acquaintances, I would probably avoid taking away from their special day. It also would make a difference if you have been wearing the kilt for a substantial time. Do those in attendance know you wear it regularily or are you still fairly to new to freedom? Hope this helps.

[RockyR]

If you don't know whether or not the bride would approve, ASK HER before you wear it. Odds are she'll be fine with it so long as she's not a bridezilla, but it's always better to ask in that instance.

[KenB]

slàinte agad-sa

Good advice. Makes sense.

[Inchessi]

I went to a dear friends wedding in November. I did not wear a kilt. First, I was a groomsman, and was asked to wear a Tux. I informed them that I would like to wear a kilt, and was asked not to. I was not offended, and did not wear a kilt. IT wasn't my wedding, it was theirs. Should my friend stand in my wedding, he will wear a kilt.

Had I just been a guest, I would have worn my kilt. It would have just been a matter of how formal.

[davidlpope]

I usually ask myself, "Will wearing X or doing Y make the event about ME, when it should really be about someone else?" If the answer is yes, then I usually don't wear it/ do it. If in doubt, check with those the event IS supposed to be about.

I think sometimes the defense of "I'm just expressing myself" is more accurately "I'm just expressing my selfishness."

Best of luck.

Cordially,

David

[McMurdo]

Ask the Bride and Groom first, if so then go ahead.

[Chas]

There are those on X Marks who only ever wear a kilt and never wear trousers. For them the options would be -

Go kilted

Go naked

Don't go.

If you are known to be a kilted man, people should expect you to go to an event kilted. Would it be ethical to ask a known vegetarian to partake in a roast beef dinner?

Regards

Chas

[Zardoz]

There are those on X Marks who only ever wear a kilt and never wear trousers. For them the options would be -

Go kilted

Go naked

Don't go.

If you are known to be a kilted man, people should expect you to go to an event kilted.

Chas

This always comes up when weddings are discussed, so I'll repeat my stock response.
If I am not a member of the wedding party proper, as a guest I will dress appropriately for the time and venue.
This was true before I started wearing kilts all the time as well. I have never felt the need to ask the bride, (who has enough to worry about) or her parents, (who are technically the 'hosts') anyone else's permission to dress in my usual manner. Do you think the wildly inapproprately dressed folks who always seem to show up at weddings asked if it was OK to wear their tube-tops, shorts and crocs?

[QMcK]

Are there people who have a moral objection to wearing trousers?