Formal Ambiguity

[AFS1970]

I too like these discussions on formal attire, but it reminds me of two weddings I was invited to. The first was Black Tie, there was no mention of optional or preferred, simply black tie. Now, as I do not own a tuxedo, I rented one. When I got there it was clear from the variety of different tuxes that most attendees owned their own, and the colors of cummerbunds, vests and ties was quite dizzying, although most contained some black. There was even one that the vest and tie were a black and white pattern like the skin of a cow (or a gateway computers box).

Now the second wedding, in the same family, was Black Tie Optional. I again rented a tux. This time knowing the crowd and that more leeway seemed to be allowed I selected one with a dark red and black vest and tie. The red and black were colors associated with a club that both the groom and I had been in. Well once again I guessed wrong. While there were a few who were not in formal wear, those that were all had solid black ties.

Boy was my face (and tie) red.

[auld argonian]

The more I think about it, the more this "(optional)" thing seems like a total cop-out...it can't be in consideration of any people who might be asked to attend who don't have formal wear readily available because I know that the crowd being invited to this shindig certainly do. I can only guess that it's a "safety" to excuse any of them who don't feel like going to the trouble but who the organizers want to attend for various reasons.

Thank all of you for your discussion here...it has been enlightening.

I just think that it might be better if hosts specified one or the other and got off the fence and didn't try to cover all of the bases by being so deferential.

Interestingly enough, the second event that I'm attending has an association with a big Catholic University and I now envy the RC priests that can just show up as they usually do in the black suit and dog collar and not worry about ironing a tuxedo shirt!

Best

AA

[Father Bill]

Interestingly enough, the second event that I'm attending has an association with a big Catholic University and I now envy the RC priests that can just show up as they usually do in the black suit and dog collar and not worry about ironing a tuxedo shirt!

Best

AA

Believe me, my wardrobe life has become much simpler since ordination. The kilt complicates things slightly, but when you're wearing a collar, nobody gives you the evil eye no matter what you're wearing; they know so little about the norms for priests that they assume we know what we're doing and are properly dressed. Frankly, so few priests wear their "clericals" any more that I'm not sure that anyone knows what we should wear in various situations. The times have evolved while our confreres weren't wearing their collars.

[JSFMACLJR]

Interestingly enough, the second event that I'm attending has an association with a big Catholic University and I now envy the RC priests that can just show up as they usually do in the black suit and dog collar and not worry about ironing a tuxedo shirt!

Best

AA

The Roman Catholic clergy should be dressed in cassock and ferraiolone for black or white tie events.

[Father Bill]

The Roman Catholic clergy should be dressed in cassock and ferraiolone for black or white tie events.

I would demur. I am Anglo-Catholic, not Roman, but I think the former interpretation is still acceptable. We have one Bishop (retired) who is famous for his comment that "Clerical attire is always correct." The fact is that we just don't fit in, and we're not trying to.

[Joshua]

Hell, if you have the gear to do so, gild the lily so over-the-top that next year they fix their wording. Montrose, doublet, jabot, etc...

At least, that's what I wish I could do. :-)

[Father Bill]

Hell, if you have the gear to do so, gild the lily so over-the-top that next year they fix their wording. Montrose, doublet, jabot, etc...

At least, that's what I wish I could do. :-)

Right on brother!