Generation to Generation

[CMcG]

I'd like to hear from people who inherited the tradition of Highland attire directly from their elders (fathers, uncles, grandfathers, etc). I suspect that the organic transmission within a family might have some significant differences compared to people (like myself) who are trying to become familiar with THCD through the internet Rather than big picture generalizations about tradition, I'm hoping to get some insight into how it works at a smaller scale.

What did your forebears emphasize as being important, either in the practicalities of kilts and accouterments or in the concept(s), aesthetics, and symbolism of Highland dress?

How much explicit guidance was given versus how much was acquired by observation or cultural immersion?

Given the wide range of options within THCD, what do you do the same and what do you do different (but still traditional)?

As a corollary for those who have passed it on to their juniors (sons, nephews, grandsons, etc), what do they do the same or different? Are they still traditional?

Generational photos would be most welcome!

[Jock Scot]

I had the benefit of a kilted Grandfather(who was a retired General) a kilted father and six kilted uncles who were also, on occasion, military men, plus umpteen elder kilted cousins. The kilt was never regarded as 7 days a week clothing,if you got up in the morning and decided to don the kilt, instead of trousers, nothing would be thought, or, said about it.

However as youngsters if the kilt was not worn appropriately it was pointed out pretty sharply by whoever saw it and that included the cook, gardener, game keepers and most of the county. We learnt!

As youngsters, partly as a game, we used to play "spot the lemon" where on the way back from a "do" we would comment(and encouraged to, in the strictest confidence and privacy of the car ) on the attire of the other guests. Sometimes the comments were complimentary and sometimes they were pretty cruel I suspect, but then an "elder" would explain the good points and not so good points of our comments. We learnt!

I well remember the consternation of the "committee" when I decided to move my kilt pin position from "mid thigh" to nearer the bottom of the kilt! In fact my grandfather and my father would nearly always find a chance of passing the odd criticism about it for the rest of their lives!

As to my sons? Well they have veered off the kilted course from time to time, as they do and should and they certainly don't wear the kilt as often as I have done, but their lifestyles actually do not really allow for it, in all honesty. But they do know, I am glad to say, how to wear the kilt well, when the occasion arises. They learnt!

Their children? Well they will play "spot the lemon" as time goes on, no doubt. They will learn too.

[MacRobert's Reply]

My father wore the kilt as a young man and when older. I only remember him wearing it with tweed, never with a black, silver-buttoned jacket or doublet. It was worn for smart day-time events in Scotland, England and France. I and my cousins grew up wearing kilts from an early age. I don't remember any explicit instructions, it was more like an implicit cultural transmission of how it was done but guess there must have been some gentle correction of any blatant faux pas.

In day-wear I dress much as my father did and have added morning dress and evening doublets to the wardrobe.

My son also favours tweed with the kilt for smart day-time events and dresses in almost every respect as his grandfather did and I do. He does wear tan rather than black shoes. However, he also wears the kilt with casual shirts and trainers for events like barbecues and informal ceilidhs.

My Welsh-Scottish grandson at age three wears the kilt to weddings and Hogmanay parties, made from material recycled from one of my old kilts. So from an early age he identifies with other kilted men in the family.

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

From a very early age we (younger brother and assorted cousins) were taught how to dress. When it came time to wear the kilt we already knew what to wear and when to wear it, the only difference being the cut of the jacket and, of course, the kilt itself. The whole process was totally organic; one's parents brought you into this world, fed and clothed you. Because they provided the food and clothing they taught you how to eat with a fork, and how to tie a tie, and when to wear a jacket.

What was emphasized? Dress appropriately for the occasion; shine your shoes; hang up your clothes when you take them off, and always bathe and put on a fresh shirt if going out for the evening. In other words, the rules were the same whether kilted or booted and suited.

Did someone lay out our kilted outfit on a bed and then sit us down and give us a tutorial on how to dress? No. But if something wasn't quite right (say for instance that your socks were twisted on your legs, or your kilt was hanging below your knee) a casual comment would be made, and whatever needed "adjusting" would be "adjusted".

There was one other factor that came into play, and that was that adults dressed like adults and "us boys", wishing to look more "grown up", emulated the way the men folk dressed. Today it seems as if far too many men dress like kids, with the result that a lot of boys don't have any sort of roll model when it comes time to dress up-- kilted or otherwise.

[CMcG]

Thank you Jock Scot, MoR, and MacRobert's Reply for sharing your experiences.

Perhaps to get a bit more response to this thread, I'll need to ask people who have not received familial transmission of THCD to comment too. This might then, however, become a question of "revival," because people will have learned tradition through active research and observation. It also opens up the possibility of creative misinterpretation of tradition by people without elders to correct them...

I'm coming to realize just how important Xmarks is for people interested in THCD but without a family tradition. In a sense, we have been "adopted" by those people who do have unbroken lineage and I, for one, greatly appreciate their patient efforts to guide us.

It is very interesting to me to note how the boundaries of tradition are maintained. Take Jock's kilt pin placement being lower than his forebears. He may have received criticism but not strict contraindication. He also tells us that anything inappropriate would have been shut down by everyone around him, right down to the groundskeeper!

I have encountered similar things in my very traditional kung fu class. The teachers let me know very quickly when something is inappropriate but I'm also sometimes surprised at what they will tolerate. And so we learn!

If I look at my own family tradition, it is scant. My dad played in a pipe band when he was a youth and I now have his horsehair sporran and kilt pin. I've never seen a picture of him from those days and, while he's been supportive of my kilting, he hasn't had much to say about it.

My aunt has been more vocal. She's the only member of my family who was born in Scotland, though she came over when she was too young to remember. When she helped me borrow the kit to wear to my high school graduation, here advice was pithy: "do show your knees and don't wear anything under the kilt!"

[Cygnus]

My great-great grandfather, Alexander, left Scotland when he was 14, and the family seems to have left their kilts behind. His father stayed behind, leaving his wife and teenage children to travel to the American West on their own. A year and a half later, he finally joined them.

It was a necessity that the people in the small communities that were springing up throughout the West at that time work together and be tightly knit, which is why Alexander's father worked to speak with the accent of the people around him and encouraged his children to do so. Even with coaching from her husband, though, Alexander's mother never replaced her Scottish accent with an American one.

Despite the attempt to blend in, Alexander's father was proud to be Scottish, and was especially proud of his family's service with "the Highland Regiments". He would still dance and sing the songs of his homeland, and that was the only time his accent would return. My grandfather was probably the last in my family that directly inherited this sense of pride, going so far as to name my father "Scot" with only one "T" to show that we are "Scots but not Scotts". Aside from this unusual spelling, he was not one for passing on tradition and focused more on the practical, day-to-day necessities.

Most of this information comes from the journal of my great-great uncle and, with most of the traditions and stories of my forbears having been forgotten, I've been left to piece together what I can from this one first-hand account and build the rest from scratch.

As far as ensuring that I am dressed properly and following tradition correctly, X Marks has been an invaluable help and I'd be remiss if I didn't thank everyone who contributes to the efforts of myself and others who are rebuilding lost tradition!

[jeremy j starche]

I have learned most of what I know about wearing a kilt from XMarks, but in this case I am doing the exact opposite ...

I've been training my father in kilt wearing.

It started off with him wearing one of my early style box-pleated kilts and he seemed to cotton to the idea, so I bought him at USA Kilts semi-trad (although my father respects tradition, he is also practical and did not want wool).

He wears the kilt as clothing, which means that he adjusts the outfit to meet the needs of what he is doing. If he needs the horribly-clashing sky-blue camera bag, so be it... but he wears the kilt with confidence and respect.

[English Bloke]

Everything I know about Kilting, traditional or otherwise, I have learned here (and other similar sites, but mainly here). There were no Kilties in the family before me (to my knowledge) and like as not there will probably be non following. I wear the Kilt because I find it comfortable casually and it looks the dox-beluxe when dressed up.

I'm content to be where I am in Kilts. I see myself as a modernist because I choose to dress Kilted in a casual manner frequently which is not the norm. I do however know what to do when the occasion warrants it and using advice I have obtained here, I have accumulated a wardrobe to suit (give or take) every Kilted occasion. As a result, I only look a chump some of the time... . I too am grateful to those who have steered me right.

[JSFMACLJR]

I have been fortunate enough to have grown up in a family of kilt wearers. The kilt was not an every-day piece of dress, but just like in Jock's family, my father, grandfather, uncles and cousins wore the kilt whenever the wanted to. I started wearing the kilt when I was perhaps 3. I never really gave much thought as to how to wear the kilt until I was much older. I just imitated my father and other male relations, and wore pretty much what was there. We have all sorts of kilts and sporrans and hose and jackets for all sorts and conditions of men. There was no chance of making a mistake like wearing white hose because there just weren't any. My sense of style was greatly influenced by my father, and his by his father. My father always wore a coat and tie ( although in mid-life he became an Anglican priest and started to wear a collar ). His suits were well made; his shirts were well made. He always had polished shoes. I just picked it all up. I grew up in a house where my father dressed for dinner, too. I'm not kidding-- he wore a dinner jacket or smoking jacket, or the kilt... or at the very least a coat and tie, for dinner almost every night. I thought nothing of it, and in my early formative years thought all gentlemen dressed this way for dinner!

When wearing the kilt I was pretty much left to my own devices, as was my brother. If we did something odd, someone suggested an alternative. I vaguely remember some confusion around the age when boys switched from short white socks to knee length socks, but my mother set things right--and of course I wanted to be like my father! Just as in Jock's youth, family retainers and friends let my parents or grandparents know if I showed up anywhere poorly dressed.

We were also a family of critiquers, just like Jock's family. We loved to discuss what others wore and noted the good and the bad. As crass as this might seem to some, this sort of light-hearted banter taught lessons that were worth learning. Of course these "debriefing sessions", as we called them, were strictly private. We still do this to this day and I have made sure my sons know we are just being a bit silly when we do it and it is just "for family."

There has never been a time in my life when I felt uncomfortable in the kilt. I have developed a certain style which while influenced by my father, shows some individuality and concessions to modernity. I never wear a belt with the kilt, for example, whereas my father did from time to time. I will wear slip on loafers. My father would be appalled! I like to wear the kilt beagling. My father and my grandfather are flipping over in their graves about this! Hunt coats and white breeches for beagling, sir! I am an Honourary Whipper-In and do wear proper hunt attire for some hunts, but lots of days I prefer to wear a kilt. I like red hose, and have been known to wear them to a black tie event instead of diced or tartan hose. My father, although he wore red hose from time to time never did in the evening. So I rock the boat a bit!

If one grows up surrounded by certain things and a certain type of existance, that experience shapes you. You accept it and think nothing of it, or there comes a time when you rebel and shake it all off. I fall into the former group. My lifestyle is quite different now than that of my childhood, and I am very happy about that. My family, which came to Canada from Scotland, was involved in the Canadian Pacific Railway, the lumber business, and the military. One g-grandfather was the Lieutenant-Governor of the Northwest Territories; my grandmother was the grand-daughter of a knight. In those days they lived a pretty fancy existance, but wealth was NEVER a topic of conversation, and was never allowed to influence how we thought about things. Times have changed. I mention this not to beat my own drum, but to put my experience into some sort of context. How we wore the kilt was done in a certain way "just because it's done that way." My father, his siblings, my grandparents and assorted relations all spent a great deal of time in the Highlands. They shot, and stalked, and fished and dined and danced with their friends, and all of this plays into it as well. I'm proud of my family's history and traditions, and eccentricities, and am so glad they have shaped me and my sense of style and dress, which I have in turn passed on to my own sons.

[Dulcius ex Asperis]

This thread gives voice to one of the things that brings me back to XMTS. Namely that I do not have any direct proof of anyone in my family wearing the kilt. No one living remembers back far enough, or knows a story from someone who does, to recall anyone wearing it. Having come from Scotland I presume that one of my forebears did wear the kilt. But the memory of it has entirely disappeared in my family. In a sense I feel the need to be "adopted" as it were by men who did grow up with kilts about them. This connects to my own sense of what it means to "wear the kilt traditionally", i.e., to wear it traditionally is simply to wear it as it has been passed down to you. There will be different traditions, then, but they all come from somewhere organically and represent an actual practice of wearing the kilt that is connected to how it was worn one, two, eight, whatever, centuries ago--even if it is not identical to any of those centuries. The tradition of kilt wearing for me is somewhat artificial as I really haven't received anything handed down. This forum is probably the best surrogate available given my circumstances. I would much prefer to take up more of an organically received way of wearing the kilt than to make it up as I go, even if it is no longer through my own family. Better some one else's than none at all.