Wives' objections...kind of long...

[Riverkilt]

Jeez Zardoz,

I'm with the "put your helmet on and stay low" folks. And, I'm a licensed professional counselor in my state with education, training, and experience in marriage and family counseling.

All any of us can do is take a wild guess at what's with the relationship. My wild guess would be that J is off sewing kilts, making furniture et.al. and Mrs. J is lonely and hating the stuff he makes for stealing time from her.

Then a therapist would delve into why this "stuff making" is more important to J than his relationship....and on and on it goes until they decide to work things out or split up and try again.

But no way advice from this most wonderful board is gonna help since its based on almost total lack of knowledge of what's happening...and that includes my advice. Worse, what we do "know" is based on near gossip.

Okay, broke my own rule. Helmet back on, digging in low.

Ron

[MacSimoin]

...But no way advice from this most wonderful board is gonna help since its based on almost total lack of knowledge of what's happening...and that includes my advice. Worse, what we do "know" is based on near gossip...

Exactly, and that includes my own suggestions.

Seems there's a lot of advice being offered but in my opinion (though the method was a bit blunt), ronstew hit the nail on the head: It's none of our business (your friend's marriage). Most of us probably know someone whose relationship and/or marriage was undeservedly tested and strained because of wayward hearsay, badly-timed comments and/or malicious gossip that eventually snowballed into internal strife between the partners concerned; that's a good reason to keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Best of luck, Zardoz, whatever you choose to do.

[Bob C]

That guy needs a new wife.



























Joking. I'm joking, folks. Steer clear, Zardoz. These folks are offering wisdom when they say these folks have issues that you cannot make better.

[Kilted KT]

While I admire your interest in understanding the issue at hand, I agree with most of the people here. The last palce you want to be is stuck in a domestic quarrel. It isn't your issue to resolve, and if the wife sees you backing him, it will only confound the problem.

Just hang low for a while, and hope the smoke clears soon.

And yes, my wife doesn't like kilts either...but I'm working on that, HARD.

[bubba]

There's good reason cops dread a domestic call more than any other kind. I know nothing of the people involved so I'd simply avoid getting caught in it.

[KiltedKnight]

I've mentioned in posts before that I am married to a wonderful Mexican woman who is a professional in the medical field, ( You're absolutely correct, I don't deserve her). Both of her parents are from Mexico so you can imagine what a culture shock it was to know that their son-in-law wore a Kilt. Even my wife had her doubts at first but she accepted the Kilt as a part of me and my heritage as did her parents. I have been to many a party, family reunion or what have you and never was anything said aside from compliments, sometimes I am asked to leave my Claymore, Dirk and Targe at the door but, (just kidding!). Having said this I have to agree with whoever said there must be a deeper underlying problem. If wife and family from a different culture can accept the Kilt there must be some other problem.

Chris.

[Jerry]

I'm not going to get into the domestic aspect. However, the question was asked whether we had had any problems with spouse or family members. In my case, my wife suggested I should buy my first kilt. My son probably wears kilts out on the town more often than I do. My youngest daughter doesn't say much at all about them. Her older sister, on the other hand persists in calling my kilt "her dad's skirt". I usually reply, "it's a kilt and it's your dad's checkbook that pays your tuition." It shuts her up for a while.

[Cinnabar]

I've mentioned in posts before that I am married to a wonderful Mexican woman who is a professional...

Well, I guess that makes 2 of us. My wife is also Mexican-American. However, my wife has a strong aversion to kilts but I think it's for a fairly good reason. The first two time she saw men in kilts were at Highland games and in both instances we saw sizeable groups of skinheads (sometimes in kilts). Therefore she has generated a mental link between kilts and skinheads, so I can't really blame her for not being overwhelmed when I decided to wear kilts. However, she has been willing to entertain the occasional occurrence of me in a kilt (it helps that we live on opposite sides of the US too).

That being said I think it's unfortunate that she had that experience and seeing skin heads in kilts certainly made me a little less joyous about my scottish ancestry (but being a 6th generation American I've got about 5 or 6 other ancenstries to fall back on ).

Anyway, now that I've driven far off topic, my advice for you Zardoz is to let them work out their own issues. Nothing seems to go south more quickly during a doestic argument than pulling out the, "Well, Zardoz says...". Best find your helmet and dive into your bunker till things cool off.

[mbhandy]

I am pretty much of the same oppinion as Ron, Don't take sides or let well enough alone.

As far as my wife is concerned She incouraged me to buy the material for my first Kilt and she at first said she would not wear a ladies tartan skirt ( one should never say never) She loves the 2 different tartans I got her, once she had them in hand and felt the Quality and put them on. Now we are looking for excuses to dress up and go out.

MrBill

[Pleater]

Maybe trying to include Mr and Mrs 'J' in occasions where a kilt is not a spectacle but just plain ordinary might help to defuse the situation to some extent - but I think there is little else an outsider can do without seeming to take sides, never a good idea.

It might do them good to be out together in a convivial atmosphere, solitude and isolation can be destructive when combined with angry or bitter thoughts.