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20th July 07, 05:45 AM
#11
I've pretty much stopped with the smart remarks. I just tell em "some things will just have to remain a mystery".
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20th July 07, 06:19 AM
#12
With me it really depends on the questioner & my mood. Once at a little pub a girl walked up and said "Look, I'm here on a dare. My girlfriends are gonna but me a drink if I come back with a good answer. What are you wearing under your kilt?" I said, "Tell tha' lassies that's where I keep a wee set of bag pipes." later I saw her comming back from the restroom. I asked if she got her free drink. She said "O' yes!"
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20th July 07, 11:10 AM
#13
My personal favorite is "a proper lady would never ask such a question, but a naughty girl will find out for herself!"
However, I did once use the "Loch Ness Monster" bit while being treated in the emergency room for alcohol poisoning (immediately after my bachelor party and less than 12 hours before the wedding itself!" )
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20th July 07, 02:35 PM
#14
 Originally Posted by GlassMan
However, I did once use the "Loch Ness Monster" bit while being treated in the emergency room for alcohol poisoning (immediately after my bachelor party and less than 12 hours before the wedding itself!"  )
I'm sure the nurses found it hilarious! 
Sounds like a good night out though...
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21st July 07, 12:55 AM
#15
Little old ladies (a lot of them ask); "Nothing's worn under the kilt m'am; everything's in perfect working order." (they seem to really like that one)
Attractive colleens; "Are your hands warm?", or sometimes...
Guys; "Lipstick. On a good night, two shades."
Drunk obnoxious guys; "Your wifes/girlfriends/daughters lipstick."
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21st July 07, 07:38 AM
#16
I she ask's "what does a Scotsman wear under his kilt" my response is "Search me Luv, I'm English!"
Or "A rainbow, seven different shades of lipstick..."
Or "My lipstick collection, I think over the years I've collec... Not to change the subject but that's an particularly interesting shade of lipstick you have on!"
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21st July 07, 08:09 AM
#17
I have found saying "Do you really want to know?" keeps people from asking me again, and I think it was a very good answer for the work place.
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21st July 07, 12:32 PM
#18
I ask, "Heads or tails?" and based on their answer they get a frontal flash or a rear flash...OR...I ask how warm their hand is....but then again, I'm a bit of an unsavory charactor.
Actually, I usually don't respond. I don't feel the need to.
-Tim
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21st July 07, 01:12 PM
#19
I got so fed up with my elderly mother persistently saying 'What I want to know is what's underneath?' that in the end I flipped the back up and she got a very good idea. She hasn't asked since.
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