I had decided to bake some cinnamon bread this afternoon, and remembered we were out of bread yeast. I threw on a kilt and headed for Costco. I wandered around trying the samples, and checking out the new merchandise for Christmas. Finally, I grab a package of yeast ($3.39) and head for checkout.

On my way out to my truck, I hear someone behind me say "Look at that guy. He went shopping in a skirt."

A female voice says "It's not a skirt, it's a kilt. He's probably a bagpiper." I sneak a peak over my shoulder. Behind me is a a tall, gaunt man, probably in his late fifties/early sixties. Next to him is a prune-faced lady, roughly the same age.

"It's not a kilt, it's a skirt," the man says. "He's probably a homo."

"It's a kilt," the woman says, "and you're a jackass. That's why I'm divorcing you."

"You're divorcing me because you're a B****," the guy says.

"I may be a B****," she tells him, "but at least I know how I'm getting home." By now, I'm at my truck, so I watch as she gets in the driver's side of a car, while he yanks at the passenger side door handle. She backs out and leaves him standing there.