nervous in my kilt

[TheKiltedCoder]

One of the things I've found (as I've become more and more comfortable being kilted in public) is that the quickest way to attract attention is to seem nervous or ill-at-ease. I read an observation on here at some point (I don't remember where, so I apologize in advance to the originator of the story) that it was not uncommon for people to just not notice that the storyteller was in a kilt until they'd been talking for quite a while, simply because he was as comfortable with the kilt as he was.

Yeah, if you get enough of us together in a major metropolitan area doing a pub crawl, we'll turn heads, but if you just move with assurance (the same way you'd move in pants), nobody will notice.

The other secret is in realizing that there are 3 groups of people out there in the world. 95% of them don't notice or care that you're kilted. You could probably go nude for all they'd notice. They're all wrapped up in their own world and don't even notice you as you walk by on the street.

4% of them notice you're kilted, and are impressed (male or female: I've actually gotten more "Nice Kilt, Dude!" comments from men than women). They're the ones that will ask the questions (and The Question). Be nice to them and you'll brighten days (and even make a convert or two. )

Finally there's that last 1% that are bound and determined to be.. problematic. They're either miserable or in front of their friends, and feel the need to bolster their surprising lack of self-confidence by trying to tear someone else down. I've been regularly kilted in public for the last 3 months, and have received exactly 2 negative comments (both from late-teen to early-20s males: I've no doubt that they felt their masculinity was being challenged or some such). The thing that you have to realize is that there is nothing you can do about this 1%. They're miserable bastards, and they want to make someone else miserable, too. The only way to fight 'em is to deny them the chance. Just tip your proverbial (or real) hat, smile, and go on your way.

Gee... Why am I up on this soap box all of a sudden?

[Rex_Tremende]

...I was surprised, but can't imagine I'm the only one who has experienced this. How do other folks deal with this anxiety/sense of sticking out?

Sure I was nervous my first time out. That's why my first time out was in another city altogether. But I figured out pretty quickly how much fun it was and never looked back. As others have suggested, you have to assume the attitude of confidence whether you feel it or not. Eventually, you discover you have it without even realizing it.

Regards,
Rex.

[ardchoille]

I too was nervous at first, but, like others here have said, I just got out and did it. To my surprise I found most people had honest comments and compliments. There's always going to be those with rude remarks but you have to remember one very important thing - it isn't you, it's them.

The only person qualified to write the rules by which you live is you.

[jordanjm]

I was once told to simply "Just Do It."

[David Dalglish]

The only way to gain confidence is to wear your kilt often, soon you will wonder why you ever wore trousers

[sharpdressedscot]

I've had the same problem, I think everyone has had it. though, I haven't gotten any bad comments, I'm sure they were said behind my back. But you no what? I don't really care, think about about maybe 95% of the people that will rag on you for it, you may never see them again, so why worry about it? Follow the way "not giving a crap". It's better to ignore that type of stuff.

If you see them laughing at you and making "Look that guy is wearing a skirt" type comments, laugh really loud, but not obnoxiously, and they will usually stop and have a revelation and go away. Make only smart comments, don't do something that puts you in a bad situation, which basically means: don't get revelled up!

But that my own way of doing it, yours may be different.

[northernsky]

The only way to gain confidence is to wear your kilt often, soon you will wonder why you ever wore trousers

This really is the best advice. Like anything else we are unsure of doing, the more we do it the better we feel/more confident we become. I can think of a couple of obvious ones...and the more confident we are the better we become at it. I often take public transit when I get kilted up for an event and at first was quite self-conscious on the sky-train and buses. Now I quite enjoy the looks and smiles and nods. Other than the occasional 'question' most people either smile or just turn away (they are the embarrassed ones not me!)

[KiltedSkeleton]

I never had the problem with being nervous. I was eager to go out and about in my kilts. I've had my kilts for three weeks now and they are all I wear when I'm not at work. Managed to wear them to work twice until someone complained. Just be natural and wear them with pride.

[GreenDragon]

Wait until you get the people that do double takes when you walk past. It's even better when they stop in mid-sentence.

[siva011]

I was nervous my first few times out, as I'm sure most were. Of course you get the snickers (behind your back, as many have pointed out). Most people who give you trouble are ignorant, trying to impress their friends or be funny, or just trying to be macho. I have some frat boys who live in the apartment next to me that giggle when I walk by, had people try to talk to me in really bad fake Scottish accents, and have a couple of times been referred to as the white boy in the skirt. My thought on it is that most people are fine with it, many actually really think it's cool, but you notice the negative people because they are usually the ones who make a comment. But NOTHING is better than when you are confident, and get that compliment from some stranger (especially when it's an attractive woman- that wipes the macho smirks right off those punk's faces!). Eventually, also as is often said here, you gain your confidence and are happy with your kilt, and you really don't care what the naysayers think. And trust us, it comes quicker than you may think.

For now, if you really want to wear it out, then do so. Forget what everyone else thinks and do what makes you happy.