Do we shoot ourselves in the foot?

[Magnus Sporrano]

Well sadly one of my chums is in trouble with Human Resources. He made a colorful comment that would have been rude if it were from anyone else, but we are the types that exchange sharp barbs all the time in good fun. His "Pretty skirt" comment was clearly in good fun. A lady at work, who is part Scot, claimed offense and filed a complaint. It doesn't matter that I wasn't offended because she was.

I'm all for workplace diversity but sometimes people get a wee bit too sensitive. I think some folks like to add drama to their lives when they are bored and require entertainment.

[al' Sporrano]

Well the guy that took my picture at the front door and called me to say "nice skirt" is still at it.

He posted the pic online for everyone to see.

http://aaroncarr.multiply.com/journal/item/23

Nice one Magnus. Read the comments which seem good natured - and you give as good as you get.

Al

[al' Sporrano]

Well sadly one of my chums is in trouble with Human Resources. He made a colorful comment that would have been rude if it were from anyone else, but we are the types that exchange sharp barbs all the time in good fun. His "Pretty skirt" comment was clearly in good fun. A lady at work, who is part Scot, claimed offense and filed a complaint. It doesn't matter that I wasn't offended because she was.

I'm all for workplace diversity but sometimes people get a wee bit too sensitive. I think some folks like to add drama to their lives when they are bored and require entertainment.

Oh Boy, I can relate to this Magnus. In my job, diversity regulations have pushed things way beyond common sense. I hope this isn't going to be the end of your kilt wearing at work.

Al

[Raphael]

I never got defensive when people called my kilt a skirt because they are right for most parts. Kilts look skirts. I can't fault people for that. AFter all, kilt is not a every day word for most people.

Just approach the question with a sense of humour. you will live longer.

[James]

This is me being contentious!

Could it be that sometimes we are a bit too much on the defensive / offensive when an unknowing person calls a kilt a skirt: or reacts in what to us could be an offensive way-but is really just showing their amazement at encountering something new to them.

So rather than the sharp retort-which in one way could be descending to their level, and at another humiliating them: could I suggest another approach?

Here I would cite a conversation I had some years ago in a London shop- it went along these lines:-

Q-'Why are you wearing a skirt'
A-'Actually it's a kilt, and the tartan is of my family, it shows I'm a member of a Scottish clan.'
Q-'Oh that's fun, but why are you wearing it here'.
A-'It's very comfortable and makes a change'.
Q-'Well you do look smart, and it's nice to see a man in something different for a change.'

Anyway we parted with smiles and I think a positive attitude on both sides-whilst if I'd snubbed the lady in question, it would not have done anything for either of us, apart from possibly alienating her to the idea of men wearing the kilt.

Having said that, as I might have mentioned in other posts, having worn the kilt for so long, I possibly take a rather more relaxed attitude than would someone new to the game.

It is an approach I learnt as a result of having been an infantry soldier for many years-and on occasion people who have not been in the military will ask the questions-which any soldier knows should not be asked: rather than reacting, I try to turn the question into more positive channels-a joke even.

James

[Magnus Sporrano]

I am not really offended by the terminology so much as the tone. I have been approached by people who call it a "skirt" and, technically, they are right. I may or may not inform them that it is specifically called a "kilt" but I always thank them for the complement.

But when the comment is delivered with a sneer or other obvious sign of contempt, I respond in kind.

[macwilkin]

I agree with Magnus; it really depends on how the word "skirt" is delivered: if the question is delivered in a genuine and inquisitive way, then I will not respond in such an abrupt manner than I would with a more sarcastic tone.

Cheers,

T.

[RockyR]

I agree with Magnus too. I was not offended by the last encounter I just considered how silly she was behaving. Some would have been offended I am sure but I was not. I never have respomnded in kind when I get a negative comment. If I deliver anything pointed it comes with a bit of honey.

If you note James in the thread "I like your Skirt" in the General Kilt Talk" section. I reported that I recieved the "I like your Skirt" comment from a very nice and polite young lady and I was quite flattered by it because she clearly meant it as a compliment I really actually enjoyed hearing it from her because her intent was clearly complimentary.

I pretty much shared the whole conversation I had with the dumb blonde. My tone through out was kind and pleasant even in the "I am from my mother..." remark I made. She did not take it offensively either. but then she was still doing her silly dancing around so I am sure her head was full of air...

This encounter was not confrontational as far as I was concerened and to repeat I was not offended, I just thought she was being a poor salesman for the product she was pushing but if I wanted the moose I would have bought it anyway. I told my wife the gal is probably quite nice and the life of the party. She just should have realized it was not the time or place for her comments... and dancing

[Donnie]

I don't mind "skirt" remarks if done in a friendly way, but, if done in a mean way, I just ignore the person. Usually that type of comment comes from someone who actually knows what a kilt is, and they are just trying to be a comedian for the benifit of their friends.

[phil h]

I have said this before, some people just don't know the correct name for it. or the "pouch thingy" we wear with it.
you see a greek guy in his "skirt" whats the correct name fot that?
see what I mean?

next time you go out, DON'T WEAR A KILT" but pretend you are.
do you hear the kids laughing as you walk past?
do you hear the "oh my god look at that"?
it's not all about you.
does the lady look at you and smile?
it's not about the kilt.
try it some time.
when in a kilt I do tent to be on the defensive,
when I hear the "nice skirt" I say thanks,
in passing,
but up close in a pub I mention "it's a kilt but thanx anyway"
I do try to be poilite, but may sometimes sound nasty.
even if someone sounds a bit rude,maybe they are awkward
when it comes to talking to the opposite sex,
or someone who is obviously as confident as you.