Do we shoot ourselves in the foot?

[James]

This is me being contentious!

Could it be that sometimes we are a bit too much on the defensive / offensive when an unknowing person calls a kilt a skirt: or reacts in what to us could be an offensive way-but is really just showing their amazement at encountering something new to them.

So rather than the sharp retort-which in one way could be descending to their level, and at another humiliating them: could I suggest another approach?

Here I would cite a conversation I had some years ago in a London shop- it went along these lines:-

Q-'Why are you wearing a skirt'
A-'Actually it's a kilt, and the tartan is of my family, it shows I'm a member of a Scottish clan.'
Q-'Oh that's fun, but why are you wearing it here'.
A-'It's very comfortable and makes a change'.
Q-'Well you do look smart, and it's nice to see a man in something different for a change.'

Anyway we parted with smiles and I think a positive attitude on both sides-whilst if I'd snubbed the lady in question, it would not have done anything for either of us, apart from possibly alienating her to the idea of men wearing the kilt.

Having said that, as I might have mentioned in other posts, having worn the kilt for so long, I possibly take a rather more relaxed attitude than would someone new to the game.

It is an approach I learnt as a result of having been an infantry soldier for many years-and on occasion people who have not been in the military will ask the questions-which any soldier knows should not be asked: rather than reacting, I try to turn the question into more positive channels-a joke even.

James

[James]

This is me being contentious!

Could it be that sometimes we are a bit too much on the defensive / offensive when an unknowing person calls a kilt a skirt: or reacts in what to us could be an offensive way-but is really just showing their amazement at encountering something new to them.

So rather than the sharp retort-which in one way could be descending to their level, and at another humiliating them: could I suggest another approach?

Here I would cite a conversation I had some years ago in a London shop- it went along these lines:-

Q-'Why are you wearing a skirt'
A-'Actually it's a kilt, and the tartan is of my family, it shows I'm a member of a Scottish clan.'
Q-'Oh that's fun, but why are you wearing it here'.
A-'It's very comfortable and makes a change'.
Q-'Well you do look smart, and it's nice to see a man in something different for a change.'

Anyway we parted with smiles and I think a positive attitude on both sides-whilst if I'd snubbed the lady in question, it would not have done anything for either of us, apart from possibly alienating her to the idea of men wearing the kilt.

Having said that, as I might have mentioned in other posts, having worn the kilt for so long, I possibly take a rather more relaxed attitude than would someone new to the game.

It is an approach I learnt as a result of having been an infantry soldier for many years-and on occasion people who have not been in the military will ask the questions-which any soldier knows should not be asked: rather than reacting, I try to turn the question into more positive channels-a joke even.

James

[James]

This is me being contentious!

Could it be that sometimes we are a bit too much on the defensive / offensive when an unknowing person calls a kilt a skirt: or reacts in what to us could be an offensive way-but is really just showing their amazement at encountering something new to them.

So rather than the sharp retort-which in one way could be descending to their level, and at another humiliating them: could I suggest another approach?

Here I would cite a conversation I had some years ago in a London shop- it went along these lines:-

Q-'Why are you wearing a skirt'
A-'Actually it's a kilt, and the tartan is of my family, it shows I'm a member of a Scottish clan.'
Q-'Oh that's fun, but why are you wearing it here'.
A-'It's very comfortable and makes a change'.
Q-'Well you do look smart, and it's nice to see a man in something different for a change.'

Anyway we parted with smiles and I think a positive attitude on both sides-whilst if I'd snubbed the lady in question, it would not have done anything for either of us, apart from possibly alienating her to the idea of men wearing the kilt.

Having said that, as I might have mentioned in other posts, having worn the kilt for so long, I possibly take a rather more relaxed attitude than would someone new to the game.

It is an approach I learnt as a result of having been an infantry soldier for many years-and on occasion people who have not been in the military will ask the questions-which any soldier knows should not be asked: rather than reacting, I try to turn the question into more positive channels-a joke even.

James

[Magnus Sporrano]

I am not really offended by the terminology so much as the tone. I have been approached by people who call it a "skirt" and, technically, they are right. I may or may not inform them that it is specifically called a "kilt" but I always thank them for the complement.

But when the comment is delivered with a sneer or other obvious sign of contempt, I respond in kind.

[Magnus Sporrano]

I am not really offended by the terminology so much as the tone. I have been approached by people who call it a "skirt" and, technically, they are right. I may or may not inform them that it is specifically called a "kilt" but I always thank them for the complement.

But when the comment is delivered with a sneer or other obvious sign of contempt, I respond in kind.

[Magnus Sporrano]

I am not really offended by the terminology so much as the tone. I have been approached by people who call it a "skirt" and, technically, they are right. I may or may not inform them that it is specifically called a "kilt" but I always thank them for the complement.

But when the comment is delivered with a sneer or other obvious sign of contempt, I respond in kind.

[macwilkin]

I agree with Magnus; it really depends on how the word "skirt" is delivered: if the question is delivered in a genuine and inquisitive way, then I will not respond in such an abrupt manner than I would with a more sarcastic tone.

Cheers,

T.

[macwilkin]

I agree with Magnus; it really depends on how the word "skirt" is delivered: if the question is delivered in a genuine and inquisitive way, then I will not respond in such an abrupt manner than I would with a more sarcastic tone.

Cheers,

T.

[macwilkin]

I agree with Magnus; it really depends on how the word "skirt" is delivered: if the question is delivered in a genuine and inquisitive way, then I will not respond in such an abrupt manner than I would with a more sarcastic tone.

Cheers,

T.

[RockyR]

I agree with Magnus too. I was not offended by the last encounter I just considered how silly she was behaving. Some would have been offended I am sure but I was not. I never have respomnded in kind when I get a negative comment. If I deliver anything pointed it comes with a bit of honey.

If you note James in the thread "I like your Skirt" in the General Kilt Talk" section. I reported that I recieved the "I like your Skirt" comment from a very nice and polite young lady and I was quite flattered by it because she clearly meant it as a compliment I really actually enjoyed hearing it from her because her intent was clearly complimentary.

I pretty much shared the whole conversation I had with the dumb blonde. My tone through out was kind and pleasant even in the "I am from my mother..." remark I made. She did not take it offensively either. but then she was still doing her silly dancing around so I am sure her head was full of air...

This encounter was not confrontational as far as I was concerened and to repeat I was not offended, I just thought she was being a poor salesman for the product she was pushing but if I wanted the moose I would have bought it anyway. I told my wife the gal is probably quite nice and the life of the party. She just should have realized it was not the time or place for her comments... and dancing