A little ticked....

**funlvnman** · 15th November 08, 03:01 PM

Go to dinner, wear the kilt, tell them to mind their own business. Make no reaction to negative comments. Just stare at them expressionless. It'll drive them crazy.

And, eats lots of turkey.

**Rex_Tremende** · 15th November 08, 03:06 PM

Did you make the right choice? Don't know. My inclination in a situation like you describe is to put off the decision until I've had a chance to clear my head of emotions and consider the situation. I might have asked, "Well, when do you need to know to make a reservation? I'll have to think about it." It gives both parties time to come to their senses.

For whatever reason, for many people holidays are stressful times, laden with expectations, and somehow rigged for disappointment. I've experienced too many family gatherings that have ended in tears and recriminations. So, for many years now I've taken the position that when holidays cease to be pleasant, it's probably time to find or create new traditions. I love my parents, but I choose to see them at times when there are fewer emotional demands on each of us - it just seems to work out better that way.

That said, I don't know that I'd imbue that much power in a garment unless I never wore anything else. But I would probably make an attempt to explain my feelings on the matter. I think the puppet statement is a pretty succinct way of putting it, and wish I might have thought of it once.

Regards,
Rex.

**Rex_Tremende** · 15th November 08, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by celtic cowboy

She then informed me that she promised my niece and nephew that I "Would!" wear pants.

On further consideration, I might have asked why she was making promises that were not hers to keep.

Regards,
Rex.

**LewisG** · 15th November 08, 03:56 PM

This reminds me of a sign I once saw in a garden shop: "Friends welcome, family by appointment only." I think most of us have experienced family problems at one time or another. I agree that there is much more to this than the kilt. Ultimately, you will have to decide what kind of a relationship, if any, you wish to have with your family and what kind of relationship you want your children to have with your family and act accordingly.

You don't say what your inlaws are doing for Thanksgiving. Maybe it's time to do something different this year. I personally would be more upset at observing the holiday at a restaurant than the issue of the kilt.

The best advice I can give is not to make a quick, rash decision. Think things through.

I like to wear bowties to dress social occasions, but for work I wear regular ties. Wearing the bowtie, like wearing the kilt, says I'm independent, think for myself, and am not afraid to be different. It also communicates that I'm not a team player. You have to decide what is appropriate for the circumstances and what you want to communicate. Like it or not, whether it is right or wrong, how we dress effects how people respond to us, as the book Dress For Success points out.

I like wearing a kilt and am pround of my Scottish ancestry (as well as my English ancestry). However I wear both pants and kilts. It depends on the occasion and the circumstances.

**RamsayClanCommish** · 15th November 08, 06:13 PM

I would tell Mom that it is most fortunate it is Thanksgiving as she can get stuffed right along with the turkey.

And perhaps to the brother, I would also be sure to give him the bird as well.

If I choose to wear the kilt I do so out of pride and love of my heritage, and becaus eit is part of who I am. If people can't accept my kilt, then they are choosing not to accept me. I dont impose my own dress code or beliefs on others and I'll not have the same done to me. Family and friends should accept you for who and what you are instead of passing judgement out of thier own fear or embarrassment.

I too would tell them to enjoy dinner without me and to use the day to count thier blessings and be thankful. Just as I will be thankful I am of Scottish blood and blessed to have a kilt to show such pride.

**ThistleDown** · 15th November 08, 06:21 PM

May I ask, CC, what you would wear to dinner in this particular restaurant barring any interfence from others (than your wife, of course)? And may I ask what your wife would normally wear on such an occasion when you are kilted?

duchessofnc · 15th November 08, 06:45 PM

I'm tossing my two cents into this... but I do not advocate my advice as being I am seriously flawed and I am highly arrogant at times when it comes to my own insane family. If you are very attached at the concept of having Thanksgiving dinner with your family, then I would say you should go but go as you normally would which I assume is kilted.

My attitude is family should accept each other, warts and all. Whether they agree of disagree. But ultimately I have the arrogant attitude that if someone is going to not come to Thanksgiving, it would be the one who has issues with my dress code. And if it's someone spoiled and used to getting everything they want... my resolve would become very unflexible. But once again that is just me. Your family should be respectful of your choices... especially your brother. Because you are respectful (I assume) for his desire to wear pants by not calling him a sheep (no offense to the animal itself).

**Nighthawk** · 15th November 08, 06:48 PM

Originally Posted by duchessofnc

I'm tossing my two cents into this... but I do not advocate my advice as being I am seriously flawed and I am highly arrogant at times when it comes to my own insane family. If you are very attached at the concept of having Thanksgiving dinner with your family, then I would say you should go but go as you normally would which I assume is kilted.

My attitude is family should accept each other, warts and all. Whether they agree of disagree. But ultimately I have the arrogant attitude that if someone is going to not come to Thanksgiving, it would be the one who has issues with my dress code. And if it's someone spoiled and used to getting everything they want... my resolve would become very unflexible. But once again that is just me. Your family should be respectful of your choices... especially your brother. Because you are respectful (I assume) for his desire to wear pants by not calling him a sheep (no offense to the animal itself).

The more I get to know you, the more I like you. You have summed up my attitude exactly.

**celtic cowboy** · 15th November 08, 08:44 PM

Well I guess I have some question's to answer. If (and by saying that I will more than likely) I wear a kilt, as I do everyday, Kilt, pressed shirt, tie (maybe), of course, shoes, hose, flashes, the same I would wear any time simi-formal is called for. I am of course upset that we are eating at a resturant, I love to cook, and I fry a mean bird. The wife would more than likely wear a dinner skirt, nice shirt. The boy if he wants, kilt, dress shirt, hose and the like. I feel that this being a day when we are supposed to give thanks, I am thankfull for being Scottish, and am proud to be married to a Scot/Irish gal. We wolud dress some what like this:

I might ad a waistcoat to this if I get one it time.

**sirdaniel1975** · 15th November 08, 09:27 PM

My friend Aaron.

As you know I have experienced some of your strife on this issue whilst in your presence. I have always felt that you handle these situations better than I do. It is such a shame that your family goes to such lengths to belittle you for something that brings you, your wife and son such joy and pride. I personally get to witness this on a weekly basis. I'm going to refrain from using certain adjectives and metaphors and just say this: "The kilt is the National garment for persons of Scotland and Scottish heritage"!