A little ticked....

[starbkjrus]

I have to say that I would find this an excellent opportunity not to have to see these people. It's never too late to put your foot down and set boundaries. I can tell you from experience that they will be tested often. Set them in stone!

Have a nice quiet dinner with your lovely SO and count your blessings.

[beloitpiper]

It's Thanksgiving, the holiday that is all about family. I think maybe you should leave the kilt in the closet and go be with your family...they're the only one you got.

But maybe get some trews or tartan trousers? Always a good Scottish alternative when you're not able to wear a kilt!

[Phogfan86]

The fact that she told your sibs that you would wear pants and then told you that she told them makes me want to wear one for you.

To me and maybe me alone, it would be a different matter if your mom would've said, "Please do me a favor and think about wearing pants instead of your kilt. For whatever reason, it makes your brother nuts, and I don't want any friction on Thanksgiving. Would you think about it for me?"

[Nighthawk]

The fact that she told your sibs that you would wear pants and then told you that she told them makes me want to wear one for you.

To me and maybe me alone, it would be a different matter if your mom would've said, "Please do me a favor and think about wearing pants instead of your kilt. For whatever reason, it makes your brother nuts, and I don't want any friction on Thanksgiving. Would you think about it for me?"

The thing with that is that it's a respectful way of approaching the situation. Telling a grown man with a family of his own that he will or will not dress a certain way is just plain disrespectful, which is where I would develop my kiss my rump attitude.

[Ryan Ross]

Aye to what others have said. Spend time with your family whatever way you can- even in pants.

...also, since it's Thanksgiving, remember to be thankful that you can strap on your kilt, as soon as you get home. I'm afraid that I, among my nearly endless list of things to be thankful for, can't count the ability to be kilted this holiday season. All of my kilts need to be taken in. ;)

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

What ever happened to "Honour thy Father and Mother..." you may disagree with what she said, and you may disagree with how she said it. What you don't know (or at least haven't shared with any of us) is why she said it. But when all is said and done, she is your Mother, she raised you and your siblings, and she is entitled to make any reasonable request she wants. As a matter of simple respect, you should go along with it.

If you were a smoker, and your Mother didn't want you to smoke in her house, would you go along with it, or arrogantly (and disrespectfully) light up a Lucky?

Maybe if you show some respect in this matter, you'll get some respect down stream.

[sathor]

When in Rome... or in other words, if neutral ground, then wear what you want. If they don't like it, they can leave. If someone (other than spouse, even sometimes then) makes a promise that you will do something without checking with you first, then they must learn that they don't have a say, and the issue of the kilt wearing is her problem, not yours. If she asked, you might have been different, but she made a promise that she is powerless to keep, and she must learn that by whatever means necessary. (Kilted means really)

[McELT]

So many responses with good advice, yet so many disagree with each other.

It all comes back to you and what's important to you and your family. And by family, I would worry about my wife's opinion first, but then no others.

As to how I would handle this situation, I would tell my mother that I plan on attending the event kilted. I would let her know that, otherwise, I would not be attending.

Although your mother may be trying to avoid a family fight at the holiday meal, she is trying to do so by exerting her authority over you.

Good luck in dealing with this issue. I suspect there are more underlying issues at play here.

[funlvnman]

Go to dinner, wear the kilt, tell them to mind their own business. Make no reaction to negative comments. Just stare at them expressionless. It'll drive them crazy.


And, eats lots of turkey.

[Rex_Tremende]

Did you make the right choice? Don't know. My inclination in a situation like you describe is to put off the decision until I've had a chance to clear my head of emotions and consider the situation. I might have asked, "Well, when do you need to know to make a reservation? I'll have to think about it." It gives both parties time to come to their senses.

For whatever reason, for many people holidays are stressful times, laden with expectations, and somehow rigged for disappointment. I've experienced too many family gatherings that have ended in tears and recriminations. So, for many years now I've taken the position that when holidays cease to be pleasant, it's probably time to find or create new traditions. I love my parents, but I choose to see them at times when there are fewer emotional demands on each of us - it just seems to work out better that way.

That said, I don't know that I'd imbue that much power in a garment unless I never wore anything else. But I would probably make an attempt to explain my feelings on the matter. I think the puppet statement is a pretty succinct way of putting it, and wish I might have thought of it once.

Regards,
Rex.