Clever Comebacks

[Tetley]

My response in the first case has simply been to return rather than answer the question ("Are you?") and my response to the other line would almost certainly be a question as well - an obviously mock-serious "Really...?"

Well, you can always reply with "nothing is worn under the kilt..." repost, it still fits.

Mark

[Zardoz]

I wish people asked me what was under my kilt. I always get "Are you wearing underwear?" or "You know your not supposed to wear underwear with a kilt" A question which leaves a lot less room for witty deflection

A good retort to either of these would be; "Thank you for your interest in my privates"

I think every time I hear the "you know your not supposed to wear underwear" etc.. it comes from someone in pants. I'll ask them about their kilt, and when the 99% of them admit to not having one, I'll say; "so how do you know if your expertise is limited to pants?"