So there was a Scotland football match on today and, as such, more than a few people out and about in kilts.
Not being much of a follower of football, I didn't even know there was a game on until after it had finished.

Now, early this evening I took my dog for a walk and was met by a group of kilted, inebriated, middle-aged men coming back from the pub.

'Haw! Whit's that tartan, mate?' Yelled one of them.

'It's not a tartan. It's a tweed kilt.' I replied.

'Whit? It canna' be a kilt if it's no tartan.' He pointed out.

'Actually, it can. Some of the earliest kilts were solid coloured. The Ghillies at Balmoral used to wear only tweed kilts as part of their uniform'

'Nawww. Ye'r mistaken there. You have to wear ye'r ain tartan. If ye don't have one, ye have to wear Black Watch.'

'I see.' Said I. 'And what happens if I wear a kilt that is not one of my clan tartans, exactly?'

'Well, if ye get caught by someone official like a polisman or somebody frae Lord Lyon's court then ye get fined 100 quid! Ye need tae be careful, pal. Ye must only have moved to Scotland when you were wee or ye'd know that.'


Now, here I was blithely unaware that I was breaking some law. That the police and the Lord Lyon who have absolutely no jurisdiction over tartans or kilts were just waiting to thump a big find on me!
I will have to immediately clear all of the kilts out of my wardrobe save for my Macdonald Modern!



Anyone else heard some overly absurd tartan or kilt myths recently?