Advice/support regarding attitudes towards kilt-wearing

[Zardoz]

I guess I've been pretty lucky on this issue. Since I don't wear the kilt at work, the majority of my time with it in public is at night going to pubs or to see bands etc. I have never really had a negative situation in those settings. Actually, I've had a lot of positive stuff from both men and women asking about about the tartans, am I a scot? (no, mick) the 'question' etc. All just conversation starters really, otherwise folks in the nightclub setting are too busy trying to be cool to notice.

I think the only really annoying person I've had to contend with was a fellow that upon seeing me broke into a full-on Chief Engineer Scott impersonation for like two minutes to impress his friends; "The warp drive canna take nea more capin'" etc... After he wound down they all looked at me for a reaction, I said "How did you know I liked Star Trek so much?" and his friends all laughed at him!

Considering that for decades I used to dress and act in ways to not draw any attention to myself, disappear into the backgroud; I had a big 40th b-day party and I'm only in like 5 of the 30 or 40 pics my own wife took! The change in reactions to me because of my appearance is taking some getting used to. Not that I don't like it! Hell, after thinking about kilts for half my life, I wish I'd got started years ago!

I think a lot has to do with pesentation, I formed a personal opinion early on that 'utility' type kilts were not tradional looking enough for me, so my kilts are all Irish general or district tartans,(and a SWK Nightstalker) and I "know the tartan" as we say. Plus I always have on a decent Shirt, Sporran, Belt, Pin, Knife, Hose and flashes appropriate to the occasion, and co-ordinated with the tartan. I'll give some credit to Hamish here, his photos and advice are gold as far as kilted dressing goes!

Early on in my thinking about wearing kilts and learning about them here and around the web, I figured that considering the origins and often troubled history of this most masculine of garments that I would honor the kilt just as I honor my celtic roots, by treating it with respect, as 'serious' clothing, all or nothing, like a nice suit, not a t-shirt and shorts, and never as a 'costume'. I think that my attitude about myself and my appearance is more positive than it's been in years, Mrs.Zardoz agrees. And I have kilts, not just mine, but what kilts mean to me, to thank for that.

Good Luck!

[highlander_Daz]

My Friend you are unique -as are we all, what you wear is your concern and no one elses, you might be overreacting a little becasue you are aware that you are wearing something different. Most people are like sheep who are prepared to be "told" what to wear by fashion houses and what celebs are wearing which is why people are prepared to spend vast amounts of money on Nike/Hillfigger/prada/FCUK etc. If you are prepared to step away from the majority and no longer be simply a drone thats being told what "designer label" is the current trend then the Kilt is exacly the right garment, its smart and stylish, will never go out of "fashion" and is also is a way for anyone with celtic roots or an interest in celtic culture to stand away from the crowd.

Forgive people who are genuinely curious about the Kilt, Im sure they mean no offence, as for people who are discourtious, why concern your self ?-their comments are a badge of ignorance and therefore would not be people whos opinions are worth noting.

being different is good, there are to many clones and drones out there we dont need any more.

Regards

[NewKilt]

Really excellent posts here by Zardos and highlander Daz. I might add, and some may disagree with me, that you can "dress up" in a Utilikilt. Wear a nice shirt, kilt hose, even some solid color flashes that coordinate well with you kilt or shirt.

I have 3 Amerikilts on order. My personal opinion is that I can dress up or down with these kilts. My personal style is to dress in a business casual style. So I will be wearing my Amerikilts with hose, flashes, a nice shirt, and black polished shoes. Everyone has their own personal style, this is simply how I choose to dress when I wear my kilts, whether they be my traditionals or moderns. I think when you go the "dress up" route, you get a more positive reaction even though you look different from what the fashion designers have put out there for people to wear. But, by all means, dress as you like.

Darrell

[mbhandy]

Really excellent posts here by Zardos and highlander Daz. I might add, and some may disagree with me, that you can "dress up" in a Utilikilt. Wear a nice shirt, kilt hose, even some solid color flashes that coordinate well with you kilt or shirt. Darrell

Totally,

Just today I was in the supermarket and a lady asked "Where do you wear your kilt?" My response was "Any where I want Except up a Ladder." She just laughed and said "Good response" At the same time there was a Mexican couple and HE said to his wife in spanish "Look at that man in a dress" I turned and said that it is a kilt and only Real Men wear Kilts. His wife told him that the kilt looked really nice. (Now I am just doing a short translation.)

It was a good thing.

MrBill

[Verlyn]

Beery, Welcome to the group. I can't add much to the august advice that's already been offered other than my observations since I started wearing a kilt regularly. Interestingly, the only "bad" reactions I've gotten were teenaged girls (young teens) that were dressed horrendously and giggling. I was at a Christmas party this past December and went kilted. All the reactions were either positive or quiet. Of course, the hostess was a very good older friend of mine and my wifes whose only transgression was to try a kilt check after she'd had a few too many. Since it was really all in fun for her, I was able to write it off; her daughters glared at her for an hour after that and that was pretty funny. Her friends (these are folks in their 60s) were curious about the tartan and kilts more than anything and one gent wistfully said he was Irish and wished he could wear a Kilt for heritage. So, I told him about USAKilts Ireland National. One of her daughters had invited some coworkers and one rather rough looking guy that I would have thought would have made a rude comment came up and said, "your the Man!" and shook my hand. Its unfortunate that you're experiencing negative reactions. Even my pastor thinks that its really neat that I wear the kilt. Keep on wearing it. I've found the occassional bad reactions aren't worth the time to deal with. Keep plugging; it will soon become a non-issue. Fortunately, I've never gotten the cross-dressing comment. Of course with me being 6-3, 200 pounds with a beard and a rather "mean look" when crossed, maybe they've decided pushing the issue is too risky. Anyway, I'd keep going, educate those with reasonable questions and ignore the rest. My son-in-law and I were at a brewery picking up some beer the other day and a woman leaving stopped and backed up her car, rolled down the window and shout, "nice legs". That kind of attention has never happened to me before, so it has to get better.

[Andrew Breecher]

Beery, I'm sorry I'm coming into this thread late, so let me put this in bold to make sure you see it:

I wear a kilt in Boston.

In fact, I wear a UtiliKilt ALL THE TIME at work. Sometimes people giggle, but most of the time people think it's really cool, or - at least - want to talk with me about it.

Where in Boston are you wearing your kilt? College area or downtown? I find the reaction to my kilts (I wear both traditionals and UKs) vary on what part of town I'm in - in Cambridge I've had nothing but good reactions, and in Allston, where I live right now, the reactions are mixed, especially with the South Americans who live in the area.

By best response to people giggling is to look right at them, and wink. They immediately turn away and ignore you. ;)

Anyway, drop me a PM if you want to get together sometime, or stop by my work, the Sunset Grill & Tap, in Allston. Just ask at the host stand for the guy in a kilt, they'll know who you're talking about!

Andrew.

[Beery]

Where in Boston are you wearing your kilt?

Actually it's mostly north of Boston in the suburbs. Reactions in Cambridge the other day were fine, and also in downtown Boston. But when I wore it in the Northshore mall and in Wakefield the day before I posted here the reactions were decidedly negative. So maybe it's a suburban issue.

...Anyway, drop me a PM if you want to get together sometime, or stop by my work, the Sunset Grill & Tap, in Allston. Just ask at the host stand for the guy in a kilt, they'll know who you're talking about!

Andrew.

Thanks. I'd like to get together sometime. My wife and I have a two year-old daughter, which can make it difficult to get out in the evenings, but I'd like to get together for a beer at some point (if you're a drinker that is).

[Hamish]

Hi Beery,

I am sorry to be coming late into this thread of yours but, at the moment, I have time only to log on every few days - not daily as I was doing until recently.

There really is so little I can add to all the good advice that my kilted brethren have already offered; besides things are, and are seen to be, somewhat different on this side of the pond.

On 15th May I will be celebrating the 7th Anniversary of the end to my confined life in trousers - I have not worn a pair in all those years and now I do not even own any. But that is by the by. Although I don't actually recall experiencing any of the extreme taunting that you have, I did, in those early days of full-time kilting, go through quite a lot of what you apparently are. My friends, family and neighbours just could not understand what had got into me when, suddenly and for no apparent reason, I began appearing in kilts. In one respect it was slightly easier perhaps for me than you, because I had just retired and was my own 'free agent' - I was answerable to no-one but myself. Also, since I am one-quarter Scottish (and proud of it) I had what might have seemed at the time a 'legitimate' reason to be doing what I was.

From the age of 14 and during the subsequent 49 years, I wore the kilt, the traditional kilt, as a costume for my Scottish Country and Highland Dancing activities and never at any other time - it didn't occur to me to do so. Then, when I retired, I met up with a fellow dancer, already retired, who invited me to join him for weekly ½-day walks along the coast or across our local countryside, at the same time, enjoying the freedom of the kilt. Well, once I tried it I was hooked, and soon I was ordering new kilts and breacans, and wearing them virtually anywhere I went - except in my own village! At the time I was so nervous and uncomfortable in populated, built-up areas wearing the kilt, but I was fine out in the countryside, or with someone else similarly attired. Not so long after that I discovered Utilikilts (and was virtually their first customer in the United Kingdom). Now, wearing plain skirted garments that really did not look very much like the kilts I knew, took some doing, but I found them to be so wonderfully comfortable and practical that I persevered and wore them daily, keeping the tartans for evenings out and day trips.

I suppose it was the Utilikilts that first really made me aware of the reactions of complete strangers. Over here in southern England, although the majority of people had probably never seen a traditional kilt in 'the flesh' as it were, especially at close quarters, everyone had seen photos of them and seen them on TV. Virtually everyone knew a tartan kilt - but no-one had ever seen anything like the Utilikilt, and so they were unsure of what to make of it - or the wearer, for that matter! So wearing the Utilikilts caused me some grief. Unlike you, I am absolutely no good at confrontation, and I had a very tough time of it ......... but I stuck to my guns, found one or two kilt-related websites/forums through which I got to know a few kindred spirits who lived not so very far away and, over a period of time, gained confidence - and an ever increasing 'Kollection' of kilts, jackets, footwear and other accessories. Then I took the plunge and ditched the now unused trousers. I burned my boats!

Nowadays, I always take an overactive pride in my appearance when going out, in order to avoid being ridiculed for looking a mess, and as a mark of respect for The Kilt. Were I to be ridiculed, I would surely be aware of it since I am still frequently aware of the double-takes and the nodding in my direction but, apart from that, I confidently relish the attention I might attract and the comments (usually complimentary or of an enquiring nature). Unlike many here, I don't think I could ever admit to forgetting that I am wearing a kilt rather than trousers - I am constantly aware of the freedom and supreme comfort of the kilt!

Oh dear! This has become something of an autobiography, but I want you to know that you WILL and CAN overcome the doubts your are experiencing. It might take a little while, but one day you will suddenly realise that there is no stress attached to wearing the kilt (whatever the style/type) in public. Your head will be aware only of the joy and bliss of being different, looking different and feeling different to (almost) everyone else.

Two final points which might help you in these early days:

1) Try to pal up with another kilt wearer in the area and be seen out and about with him, both in your kilts. Be seen in public accompanied by your wife, a sympathetic female relative, friend or neighbour.

2) Avoid shopping in your own immediate neighbourhood if you can, and visit other towns or suburbs of Boston as frequently as possible, even if only window-shopping or browsing in DIY stores, garden centres, etc.

Also, you will find all of this much easier in the summer months when you don't have to dress up so warmly - although kilt wearing is not a cold occupation, strangers you meet will assume you to be frozen and that will cause them to comment!

My apologies for the lengthy epistle, but I hope that hearing of my 'early years' experiences will help you in some small way.