Advice/support regarding attitudes towards kilt-wearing

[Beery]

I bought my Utilikilt about a week ago, and I've been out in it four times since then. The problem is I'm getting a LOT of attention, and hardly any of it good. Maybe I'm too sensitive to peoples' attitudes, but I'm feeling a lot of negative attention from people about this kilt thing. I never thought this would happen here in Boston, as it has a lot celtic history, but apparently it's been either forgotten, or folks just don't understand that this thing is a kilt, and that I'm not a transvestite or a homosexual.

In short, I'm feeling a bit shocked at the response. So far I've only seen one person who recognised that it's a kilt. Everyone else gives me black looks or (if they're young) they giggle. I don't mind the giggling so much, but I'm feeling a bit down that so many people just don't get it.

Any words of support or advice are appreciated, as I don't want to be pressured into giving up wearing it simply because most people around here are ignorant. And I know that what other people think really shouldn't affect me, but it does.

[mddock58]

I wear a contemporary kilt as well, in the NY,NJ,PA area. Lucky for me there are big Celtic festivals in my area, and people are OK with it.......usually.

I find people accept what YOU accept.

Just be comfortable wearing the kilt. Be confident. and others will accept it.

Sure there will be remarks, but if you act like it is their problem (and it is!), they are the one uncomfortable.

Just Live It! Then you'll love it!

I don't wear kilts exclusively.....at least not yet. Maybe some day!

I hope this helps, there are many here that can offer encouragement and support.

[NewKilt]

Originally posted by Beery
Any words of support or advice are appreciated, as I don't want to be pressured into giving up wearing it simply because most people around here are ignorant. And I know that what other people think really shouldn't affect me, but it does.

Berry,

I'm sorry to hear that your kilting experience has been less than positive so far. If you really enjoy wearing your Utilikilt, and it sounds like you do, don't let a few negative times out pressure you. I don't no if you are just getting negative looks, negative comments or both. But we have all been through this, and the more you wear your kilt, the more confidence you will gain.

Perhaps where you are wearing it may have something to do with it. Try some other areas of town as well. Wear it with an aire of confidence (I know that can be hard at first) and with head up. That type of body language affects how people percieve you. Those positive comments will eventually come. Sure, you will still have people that will stare, learn to not let it bother you.

I'm a 59 year old man that just started wearing kilts this past August. I wear them full-time and wear them everywhere. If I can do it, anyone can. Eventually you will find out that most people really don't care what you wear as long as you look half-way decent.

The more you wear your kilt, the more you will find that you are controlling the situation instead of letting it control you.

You will be getting a lot more advice from others here that will add to and improve on what I have said.

Darrell

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

Wear it, Do it! All of your fears are in your head. While other people may look at you and wonder, why do you care? They look and wonder at people with dreadlocks, women wearing busniess suits, and 2 men/women holding hands/kissing. In all cases, the problem is in the person doing the observing, they can't adapt their world view to include something that they aren't familiar or comfortable with. Your life is your own. What other people think is irrelevant, although I know that in the workplace we have to be a little more flexible and aware of attitudes. Wear the kilt and enjoy life.

[Beery]

Well, I don't have any fears about it, and I understand that the problem is not mine. But in order to be part of society I must interact with it, and when I'm interacting with someone who misconstrues what I'm wearing based on their prejudices, that's not healthy for either of us. I can ignore it, but ignoring it doesn't really solve the problem.

[Southern Breeze]

First off, welcome aboard. This is THE place for support and advice on all things kilt related. (and a lot that isn't :grin: ) Don't worry about what others think, it's YOUR life and kilt, enjoy it.

Have you considerd wearing a more traditional kilt to break the ice so to speak? People often seem to associate kilts with tartan. No tartan, it's a skirt. Just a thought.

[arrogcow]

We are here for you, but reactions to your kilt are a little atypical. In my experience most people are either nutral or positive. On over 4 years (and in Cincy - that hotbed of libralism ) I have never had a negative response to my face (a few drive bys). Confidance is the key. Hold your head high, and don't worry about the idiots.

Adam

[UmAnOnion]

Well, I don't have any fears about it, and I understand that the problem is not mine. But in order to be part of society I must interact with it, and when I'm interacting with someone who misconstrues what I'm wearing based on their prejudices, that's not healthy for either of us. I can ignore it, but ignoring it doesn't really solve the problem.

actually ignoring it will make it better. When you show people that you dont care what thier reaction is, they will realise that thier giggles & looks are not going to get to you and find something else to make fun of.
when you carry it off with confidence people will be attracted to that in a positve way and you will get more encouraging looks & words tossed in your direction.

[Beery]

...On over 4 years (and in Cincy - that hotbed of libralism ) I have never had a negative response to my face...

I think my problem is that I live near Boston, in Massachusetts, and while people here are liberal by tradition, they are very conservative (if not downright xenophobic) by nature. Basically, if you're a male and you're not sporting a beer belly, a tee-shirt, jeans and a baseball cap, the attitude is that there must be something wrong with you.

On the subject of my own attitude, I remain confident, and good humoured whenever I'm wearing the kilt, so it's not a question of my own attitude. But the humour is beginning to wear a bit thin - you can only laugh at adversity for so long. At some point you have to admit that it's a nuisance. With the giggling youngsters I can use my stock retort - a laughing "I didn't think it was THAT funny", but the older folks' icy stares are a bit harder to counter because I just don't know where they're coming from (except I realise they must spring from some sort of ignorance or prejudice - perhaps if someone could explain exactly what prompts icy stares, that might be of some help).

[Alan H]

I think my problem is that I live near Boston, in Massachusetts, and while people here are liberal by tradition, they are very conservative (if not downright xenophobic) by nature. Basically, if you're a male and you're not sporting a beer belly, a tee-shirt and a baseball cap, the attitude is that there must be something wrong with you.

So I have a question for you....

Do you buy into the attitude that you just explained to us? You know, the "if you don't look like this, then there's something wrong with you" attitude?

I bet not.

And if you don't, then why are you considering conforming to it?

I'll make a public confession here. The first half-dozen times I went out and about with a kilt on, I loaded up a HUGE chip on my shoulder and paced around. I stood up taller, I stuck my chest out a bit. I met a whole lot of people eye to eye, though with a smile. If I got a hint of a look from another guy I looked them good and hard straight in the eyes with a smile and a challenge in every fibre of my body language. Nobody said a word.

I didn't come to blows with anyone, I wasn't an aggressive jerk. But I radiated a challenge to anyone and everyone. Nobody took me up on it and I've gotten a lot of stares from Hispanic men around here.

Now that it's almost a year later, I don't worry about it. I'm back to being plain old me, maybe standing a bit taller, but I don't radiate "challenge" every singe second that I'm outside. But if I hadn't done that, I might not have gotten to where I am now, which is a place where a kilt is just another piece of clothing, although a nice one and a fun one and one that people notice.