Mad as hell!

[macwilkin]

my 2 cents worth... i agree with the posts that say talk to her. ask about the problem. i would emphasize the cultural identity. a kilt is a historical garment (i know, preaching to the choir) from a culture of pride and "manliness". my wife drools over sean connery - even in a kilt. the times i've had to defend my kilt i've related it to the person doing the asking and their culture.

i don't think i'm phrasing this well... i live in cherokee country. i'm part cherokee myself. folks in this country do not poke fun at cherokee attire. if they poke fun at me i ask if they'd like me to ridicule their cowboy hat or ribbon shirt. my culture is mixed, but the scottish aspect means as much as any other. referencing their pride in their culture seems to help. fwiw.

And you could always mention that John Ross, a Chief of the Cherokees, was 80% Scottish in heritage. Ross was the Chief during the Trail of Tears, and even raised about $190 to send to Scotland as part of famine relief after the Cherokees had been moved to the Indian Territory.

T.

[DireStraitsFan]

If she is defending her lame objection with the bible, just show up to her party with 12 of your best buddies in long white robe, sandals, long hair and an unshaven face. I wonder what is she going to say.

Wait. You're getting the stories mixed up. Night Hawk is having the problem with the bible beater. Not I.

Thanks, though.

[DireStraitsFan]

Those were my thoughts as well and I'm glad somebody else mentioned the Jim word...It seems since she's never seen you in the kilt, she may be making assumptions based on what Jim tells her and is playing off of his low self-esteem...Guys sometimes make other guys look bad, so it boost's their ego to knock you down.

I would start there, but that's just me. Regardless, good luck and you have plenty of friends here, so please keep that in mind too.

Chase

I couldn't have said it better myself. I wish you guys all lived in the same city as me. It's kinda sad in a way. When you think about it, it really is only a bit of fabric and some buckles. But, whatever, it still would be nice to have some people of like minds around. Obviously we all have more in common than a bit of fabric.

Thanks to all of you. You all are some of the nicest gentlemen I have ever "met".

[Nighthawk]

Wait. You're getting the stories mixed up. Night Hawk is having the problem with the bible beater. Not I.

Thanks, though.

Yes sir. And another thing about me that drives my bible beater sis in law nuts is- I'm an ordained pagan minister. She hates the fact that I perform non Christian handfastings- kilted no less!

You know, one of my favourite lines is "I wear a kilt for religious reasons; Jesus never wore pants."

That's a good one!!

[Nighthawk]

I couldn't have said it better myself. I wish you guys all lived in the same city as me. It's kinda sad in a way. When you think about it, it really is only a bit of fabric and some buckles. But, whatever, it still would be nice to have some people of like minds around. Obviously we all have more in common than a bit of fabric.

Thanks to all of you. You all are some of the nicest gentlemen I have ever "met".

:butt:

Oh wait a minute- that was a compliment. I agree. It would be nice to have some like minded people around me to go to things like a 7N or Flogging Molly concert with. It would have been great for a horde of kilties to invade a movie with Beowulf as well. Oh well.

[Sir Robert]

It is the Utilikilt and if your nae Batman ya can nae wear t'Utilikilt.

I suggest that you drop some change on Stillwater for a nice wool kilt and invite your "friend" to dinner at a nice place. Then tell her that her critism is endangering your friendship and that she needs to zip it as every word she says gets back to you.

If she seems unrepentant then duck out the side door leaving her with the check.

[Nighthawk]

If she seems unrepentant then duck out the side door leaving her with the check.

That's the best advice I've read in this thread so far!

[Robinhood]

I'm going to go way out on a limb here.
Jess is your son's mother (not your wife?)
If this is the case, there may be more than
your friendship in Sonya's heart.
If she has desires, what she sees as
a change in your status will affect her
in ways you don't expect. This could
be true even if Jess is actually your wife.
The fact that she chose you over her
close friend, also lends a little more weight
to this theory, even though it was so long
ago. There could be a little flame that
never went out after all these years.

As for what to do about it, I can't really
add much to what others have already
said, except that keeping this possibility
in mind when you are talking to her about
it may make a difference. So often we
don't see far enough beyond ourselves to
recognize how much we affect those
around us.

[Nighthawk]

So often we
don't see far enough beyond ourselves to
recognize how much we affect those
around us.

That's the SECOND best piece of advice I've read.

[Alan H]

Dire Straits Fan...here's my take on this.
A number of the guys here want you to educate her and bring out pictures of Sean Connory and lecture her on Scottish History and so on and so forth. Some see this is a more person-to-person issue. I'm with the second camp.

How about this? Have a beer with her.... Or tea or coffee or doughnuts or whatever it is that you guys do. Do something totally normal with her. Hey, if it's going over to her house and just hanging out with her and her sister or something, do that. The point is to find some low-pressure alone-time, or nearly alone-time with your friend Sonya. Maybe do that 2-3 times. Be who you are.

Don't make the kilt a big crusade, don't bother. Just go over and shoot the breeze or play with the kids, I don't know what you guys do...but you do. So go do that. Wear your kilt. Then do it again and DON'T wear your kilt. And then do it again and wear your kilt again.

What's the point? ...To show her that the man you are hasn't changed just because you wear a kilt. To show her that you haven't gone off the deep end, and are now wearing a kilt.

She's not a psycho b**ch or you wouldn't have been friends for decades. So just BE her friend. She'll figure it out. If she really wants to bring up the kilt question, then she will. Then you answer it honestly with whatever answer YOU come up with....nothing smart alecky and cutsie from this board, you answer your friends question honestly, friend to friend.

If she simply can not deal with it, if literally months go by and she's still ragging on the issue, then you might have to confront her with it. But look at it this way, I would bet any money she's not going to care about a lecture on 17th century Scottish History. She doesn't CARE about Scottish History though if you have a chance to drag her to a Highland Games next spring, you might do that. She doesn't care about Sean Connory, she doesn't care about Prince Charles or Vin Deisel or current fashion trends in male garments.

She cares about YOU.

So answer that care with honesty and friendship, and be her friend, and show her that the guy she cares about and has cared about for all these years is still there..

Also, something to think about. A lot of people hear the word "kilt" and think of a tartan Scottish kilt. A tartan Scottish Kilt is "acceptable" whereas a non-tartan kilt isn't really a kilt and is therefore suspect. If you are thinking of getting a starter tartan kilt, now would be a good time to do it. Pick up a Stillwater Standard or something, and a belt and a sporran and wear that when you go see her, kilted. Sonya will know what it is, and will be less likely to flip out. After she's seen the *cough* "real kilt" a few times (swapped off with pants now and then) wear the Utilikilt and I bet any money things will go a bit easier.

Hey, it's excuse to get a new kilt! LOL

As for "you're not ready to wear the kilt"...uh. NOT. I had confrontation/doubt/"comment" issues with my wife at first and it was hard because I love her. I care what she thinks. I had to deal with those issues, and now I wear kilts a lot, though not ALL the time becasue I don't feel like wearing them all the time. She's used to them, thinks it's funny that I wear them, but doesn't object or make little "comments". Life is good.