A quandry: woman at wedding with camera

[Alan H]

OK, I don't have the pics of me and me mate Phil at Phils' wedding yet, but I thought I'd mention this incident, which is the first where I was truly annoyed at someone regarding how they treated the kilt.

OK, we go to a wedding. I check with Phil and Joanne ahead of time to make sure they've got no problem with me being kilted at the wedding and reception. They're cool with it. Phil is going to wear a clan tartan vest with his suit, andhe looks really sharp in it. So we show up, me in my Bear Kilt MacNaughton, red tie, jacket, and flashes. My lady comes along too, looking sharp in a great purple dress. During the ceremony (very short) everything is cool. The mother of the bride gushes over my kilt. Afterwards one of the sisters of the bride berates Phil for not wearing a kilt...he responds with something about them not being wearable on motorcycles, to which I respond "sure they are....you get a lot of attention" and so on. A good time is had by all, in good humour. Phil and I have been sailing buddies for years, and I know lots of sailors/friends at the wedding.

After dinner, the dancing starts and I get down in my usual way, having fun. Along comes this woman, I have no idea who she is, with one of the little cheapo cameras that get distributed around the guests at weddings. She's trying to take pictures, looking up under my kilt!!! I swat her away once, good humouredly.

I take a break for cake and coffee with the missus, and she tells me "you know, someone just took a picture up your kilt." Apparently it was this same woman. Later on, she does it again, in fact she specifically stages herself against the wall near where we're dancing so as to get the best opportunity. I swat her away again. I made it patently clear that it wasn't appreciated, but she wouldn't stop. I noticed her drinking a bit earlier in the evening, but she very definitely wasn't really drunk. She just thought she was being funny.

What to do? I don't want to make a big old row over it at my friends very laid-back wedding, but I don't appreciate it. I let her know, twice, that it wasn't appreciated, but she would NOT take the hint. I thought hard about making solid contact with her forearms and hands the next time I swatted her away, so as to make it HURT, but I've got "issues" about hitting women over an issue as annoying, but not vital as this one. As it was, she got a couple of stupid pictures which won't show anything because it was too dark and I wasn't regimental, anyway..

My wife thought it was the tackiest of low-class things to do and I agree'd.

Honestly, I think she thought the kilt was hot and she, having her boyfriend there, and me being with my wife, this was the only way she could figure out how to deal with it. It's that or she's just terminally a jerkette of the first order, but I saw her earlier in the afternoon and she seemed very pleasant.

OK, so what would you do in this situation?

[Schultz]

I would've complained to the mother of the bride, who already patted you on the back, so to speak, for wearing the kilt. It's sort of her job to make sure people behave themselves at her daughter's wedding, especially if she's the one footing the bill.

I'm envious a bit, as my future mother-in-law is dead set against me wearing the kilt at my wedding because, according to her, I'm not entitled to wear one (not a full blooded Scot). Of course, her daughter, God bless her, put the old girl in her place. She's just one of those types who's terrified of what other people will think...but I digress.

Hitting up the parents of either the bride or the groom to talk to this woman about her incredibly tacky and low class behavior is a good idea, methinks. It's expected that someone would try it at least once, but this woman is a repeat offender who just didn't get it...and needs to get it immediately.

[bjcustard]

Take the Camera

[Bob C]

Take the Camera

Yep. And tell her why.

[Big Dave]

My wife would of had words (maybe fists) with the women.

[Shay]

I would've complained to the mother of the bride, who already patted you on the back, so to speak, for wearing the kilt. It's sort of her job to make sure people behave themselves at her daughter's wedding, especially if she's the one footing the bill.

Hrmmm? I thought that sort of thing is what the Maid of Honor and Best Man are for...

I agree with take the camera. Also explain kindly you wouldn't want the mother of the bride to get in trouble like my mom almost did when she developed our disposable cameras from the reception and someone had taken a picture under a bathroom stall...

Poor ol' Joe- I still can't see him without thinking, "What a lucky wife..."

[Schultz]

Hrmmm? I thought that sort of thing is what the Maid of Honor and Best Man are for...

That's a good place to go to, as well, depending on who they are and, most importantly, their individual states of inebriation. I know that at most of the weddings I've been to as of late, the only sober person in the place has been the mother of the bride! It's sometimes best to leave such bouncing, as it were, to the sober people ;)

Plus there's the added bonus of having to answer to someone's mother as opposed to friend.

[MACKAY]

Take the Camera

Agreed ... could have done the old "Here' let me get one of you as well!", then walked away and disposed of the camera, or quietly returned it to your mate with a brief explanation.

She didn't think what she was doing was anything but ‘cute’, and in her mind nothing would change that opinion, physical or otherwise. Too often I have met these people from the planet "Oblivious", where all of the inhabitants are oblivious to anything but themselves. I’m sure we all have many, many examples of this unwanted alien species.


Brian Mackay

[MacConnachie]

A well-placed verbal putdown, in a break in the music, and in the presence of others, will often serve to clip the wings (or the horns) of those who might otherwise be unembarassable or inconvincible (sorry if it seems as though I'm making up adjectives, here).

Something like, "You know, I find it intriguing that there are as many eedjits in the world so remarkably impressed with their own lack of cleverness." This approach may be too wordy, and perhaps overly subtle.

Of course, if they are intent on making asses of themselves, all the more reason to ***-ist them, no? A suggestion that they traipse down to the men's locker-room of the local athletic club for a more open view of a bunch of men's hairy backsides may be just the ticket. There, they can be assured of meeting up with any number of attitudes more in keeping with their sophomoric intentions.

I've been propositioned by unsober married "ladies" in settings that might otherwise have been extremely embarassing or compromising. I've either called them on it within earshot of their mate or friends, or suggested that I buy them another drink. I intend on making certain that it's double-plus strength, and secretly hope that they, as a consequence, have an URK-K-K-some night praying to the porcelain god, and a big fat achin' heid the following morning. Regardless, just the excuse of going to the bar on their behalf will give one the moment necessary to slip away, or engage someone else in more reasonable conversation.

[Prester John]

Schulz

No one is a full blooded Scot, whatever that is. Think about it. That's like saying being a full blooded American. What the heck does that mean? That your parents are Americans? That their parents both were? Trust me, even Jesus was not 100% Jewish, (Ruth was a Moabitess=gentile, not a Jew) but that does not make him less a Jew. Sheesh. Sorry, I ranted again.

I feel for ya, buddy.

Besides, just tell her that, although you are not a full-blooded Scot, you did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night....

Or...

Though you are not a full blooded Scot, your lower half is...

Or....

? (c'mon guys, you can come up with something better than me!)