This is my story, and I'm sticking to it.

[NancyMan]

2005: A Kilted Odyssey

Hail thee, lads, lassies, mods and especially ye grand kilt-makers! Well met all! What a great cloth thy many wise threads have woven in my mind since I began lurking hereabout and soaking up the culture. To be honest, I didn't think anything like this would happen to me. Perhaps I should start at the beginning...

Innocently, I attended this year's Pride parade in Vancouver's west end. Just as I settled down on the sidewalk a couple beside me went off for a walk. Some time later they returned............kilted! I couldn't get over how sharp these people looked. NOW I know they were both wearing UK's. THEN what I said to him was, "Those are GREAT looking skirts you two have on. Where'd you get them?" Taking no offence, he directed me to the booth the Utiliclan had set up onsite. They were running their usual sideshow and selling kilts like hot cakes. I fingered the merchandise. (We Tauruses are nothing if not sensual creatures. How it feels is just as important as how it looks. Venus RULES us.) I was vaguely looking for something that could do dress duty as well as casual. I found a black denim kilt in my size- and you know,........when its brand new,......this fabric can look almost.......formal. The price of the thing knocked me on my A$$. Two hundred smackers?!! Now I'm a bargain hunter. (Is there a tartan for that? Lots of green and brown in it, right? Yeah, the bargain hunter tartan.) But back to reality. I had a salesman in front of me asking if I'd like to give him that much cash for this garment. "I don't know man, that's a lot of scratch." He was understanding. "I know where you're at because so many men have said the same thing. And then they buy a kilt and immediately, they're conspiring to buy another!" How sage his words turned out to be. I bought it. On completion of the sale the salesman rang a bell that hung from their merch booth. "Another man's taken off his pants!" he declared in a lordly voice. His fellow salesman all took a moment to applaud and cheer me. It was a timeless moment and well worth the price of admission.

That evening, as usual I attended the Sunday Soul Service. Some musicians i know gather at a local bistro to jam. This particular night they were convening at a different venue than usual and the tradition here was different: there was a cover charge. I arrived, kilted for the first time. The band leader, Jack, asked me if I would mind manning the door and collecting the cash. Well I'm always eager to support the band in any way I can- so there I was, greeting all and sundry in my Utilikilt. In four words: I worked it, baby. And I put some coin in the band's pocket at the same time.

The following evening I wore my kilt to the opera. It went well with a short, fitted tux jacket (what I call my Gypsy jacket) a broadly pleated white tux shirt, black bow tie, argyle socks and a low John Bull style top hat.

The next weekend I saddled up my bicycle and blasted out to the Maple Ridge Jazz and Blues Festival with my Utilikilt in my pannier. How convenient it was to roll up to the gates in lycra shorts, strap on the kilt, slip off the shorts and stride off in freedom without having offended public decency.

Well one thing was bound to lead to another and in no time it became clear that I needed another kilt! What else was there in my wardrobe that gave me such a noble, manly feeling when I put it on? Nothing. What other garment made me stand taller and move with more self assurance? None of them, too be sure. The plain fact of the matter is, that as long as I was going to LIVE in them, I NEEDED ANOTHER KILT. Or two........

{WARNING! THIS POST IS ABOUT TO SWERVE ABRUPTLY INTO LEFT FIELD. HOLD ON TO YOUR SPORRANS, BOYS!}

So one fine day I booked off early and went in search of our local kiltmaker, one Mr. Bear. I didn't have his address on hand but I knew the neighborhood and what street he was on. I cruised the length of the street to no avail. His den is well hidden. Fortuitously, I stumbled across the Edinborough Tartan Shop. My attention was drawn to a rack of clearance items. Hmmm, a brand new lady's kilt in about a 10oz heather grey wool. I'd say about a four yarder made by Aljean of Canada in a size 16. (I'm a perfect size 14.) Originally priced at $135, this garment was marked down to $35- less than the cost of the material to make it. Now the pleats marched counter clockwise around the kilt as God intended they should and it had a full double apron. The only giveaway that this was a feminine garment was that the apron folded right over left and the three buttons that fastened it on the left hip were covered in fabric. No problem here. I needed to move the buttons in order to resize it anyway, so while I was doing that I substituted manly celtic knot buttons in their stead and a row of three dummy buttons on the right hip. Still, it was with some trepidation that I donned this kilt to attend my first Vancouver kilt night at Doolin's Pub. I'd no wish to offend, but I feared there might be some who'd take offence. On the other hand, I've always had a ballsy sense of fashion. Why shouldn't I dive head first into a gang of drunken kilt wearers while wearing a lady's garment? I could just strut in and say, "Hey you lot! I'm so committed to the kilt, I'll wear a lady's kilt rather than a pair of trousers. How about that?" Well of course I did nothing of the sort. What small anxiety I felt as I walked out the door was dispelled when I boarded the bus. "You look smashing!" the female driver huskily exclaimed. "Thank you, love," I off handedly replied. (As if I got compliments of this sort every day.) On arrival Raphael greeted me. We chatted. (Not easy, with the LOUD music and an abundance of over-excited young trousered folk in attendance.) In time, more kilted men swished in. -or should I say swung? Perhaps I shouldn't say either. Gorillas in MUGs, one by one, dragged their knuckles over the doorsill. I made their acquaintance. At last the MacBitseach Himself, in all his kilted glory arrived. Quite naturally, he took a professional interest in my kilt. I gave him the straight goods. Without raising an eyebrow, he suggested that besides my other modifications, I could fringe both sides of the apron as he had done his. Such a magnanimous man is the MacBitseach. He respects resourcefulness and innovation. Truth be told, I get no special thrill from wearing a lady's garment. I'm for the kilt, plain and simple, and for the power that accrues to one through wearing it. I've a closet full of dress slacks (now idle), NONE of which EVER made me feel as manly as I do as when I gird my loins in a kilt, lady's or not.

Ach! Enough about me. Let me introduce you to my kilts:

Utilikilt in black denim- my first and still a favorite. Do the pleats lay down flat? No, they stick out at odd angles like a punk haircut. That's what I like about it: Its got ATTITUDE.

Besides the Aljean lady's kilt I've got another lady's wool kilt in a beautiful green and brown tartan made by Mairi Macintyre of Fort William, Scotland. Loads of pleats, though they are quite shallow. It fastens with two buckles. I wore it to the ballet and from there straight to my second kilt night at Doolin's. Both of these garments are made of fine wool and feel great to wear. Wool has a little better temperature latitude than most other fabrics of similar weight. I find it a little cooler when its hot and a little warmer if the temperature drops. A good all day fabric.

Sportkilt in Black Stewart. Well I think the elastic waistband is a little, uh, nancy.... I ordered the medium and got the large. Frankly, with the extra wrap it looks better. I just had to move a whole lot of velcro and a couple of belt loops. When I get around to sewing the edges of all the pleats it will be one sharp looking garment. But jeez, it’s a lot of work you know?

Stillwater standard in Black Watch and Stillwater heavyweight in shadow tartan, both acrylic. As summer was fast fading, I needed to bundle up. The standard came to the rescue just as rain began to fall. The heavyweight is what I live in now, since it is my warmest kilt. Ounce for ounce, acrylic beats out PV for warmth- though it doesn't look nearly as sharp and IT PILLS LIKE CRAZY. Yep, right there underneath the sporran.

Another acrylic in Ancient Gordon Tartan I bought off Ebay. O.K. everybody has to have a bottom of the barrel kilt. What can I say? I was grieving over having lost an auction for a mint condition Burnett's and Struth tank. I bought this one to console myself. It’s a ringer for a SWK economy except the apron is hemmed instead of fringed and it only has two buckles. Like the SWK, it's made in Pakistan. The straps are the cheapest I ever hope to see. But I like the tartan and I got a really spiffy dress sporran with it for next to nothing. I'll wear it in house.

Bear 8 yard PV in Ramsey Blue. "Heaven. I'm in heaven. And my heart beats so, that I can hardly speak..." But I will. This material feels absolutely luxurious. I strongly suspect that Bear gets it from the elves. In the moonlight it has a certain eldritch twinkle to it, just like elven fabric. I can't yet say if it will deflect a glancing blow from a dwarf's axe, as elfish garments are said to do, but should I find out you can count on me to report to this forum directly. A very high class garment, not to be worn for cleanin' and cookin'. I've ordered a Royal Blue Balmoral to go with it.

Coming down the pike....A casual Freedom Kilt exactly like Hamish's but in black.....and a fifty year old tank in Black Watch that I got on Ebay for $125 including shipping.

That's it. I'm out of here.
Kilt on dudes 'n dudettes

Vincent

[GMan]

Vincent,

What a great and informative post! WELCOME to the fray.

[Robin]

Welcome!

[Big Dave]

Nice to see more kilted Vancouverites. Welcome, but I don't think you have enough kilts? (what am I saying, you can never have enough kilts).

[MacMullen]

Welcome!

[Riverkilt]

Another kilt junkie dives in...welcome!

Ron

[The Wizard of BC]

If you have any more of those celtic knot buttons and want them on your FK, send them over.

If you have any extra Celtic knot buttons send them over too and I'll pay your for them.

[bear]

If you have any more of those celtic knot buttons and want them on your FK, send them over.

If you have any extra Celtic knot buttons send them over too and I'll pay your for them.

Hey Steve,
There's a button store just down the street from me. I'll see if I can find some Celtic ones there.

[The Wizard of BC]

Thanks Terry. Phone me or e-mail me with the price and I'll remit.

[Southern Breeze]

Welcome aboard.