kilts, self-image, women and other related thoughts in a jumble

**Alan H** · 18th February 06, 01:16 PM

I'm sure you've noticed that sometimes I write up a story about how some out-freaking-rageous babe talked to me when I was wearing a kilt. IN light of that I'd like to ramble at great length about a couple of things, and I invite rambles from any-and every-body else on related topics.

First up; I like women. Anybody whose seen me at any of the Bay Area kilt nights knows that I enjoy the company of women. I also enjoy the company of men. Yes, Rigged, Michael, Motorman, Bill, Tim and company, even YOU disreputable louts provide enjoyment and hours of entertainment. Hell, I'll talk to ANY-body.

I am not blind. I know a hot babe when I see one or talk to one. They come in all shapes and sizes. They arrive with any number of desireable attributes from the physical to the mental to the spiritual and various combinations and permutations of all of those. I will happily flirt, tease, orgle and talk until my eyeballs fall out and my tongue gets stuck in my teeth.

But you know what? I always go home to my Babe of Babes. I married her twenty-seven years ago. I may flirt, tease, orgle and talk to the lasses. I might even dance with one or more. I will ABSOLUTELY notice them, as I am not blind, deaf, nor a total dunderhead. But beyond that, no way. So. 'nuff of THAT.

Second up: The notion of how "that woman is way too good for me" never occurs to me.

I will admit that I am sometimes temporarily taken aback by a terribly good-looking woman's initial presence. And yet over and over and over again I discover that good-looking women are no different than anybody else. Some are smart, some are not so smart. Some are self-confident, some are terribly insecure. Some are go-getters, some are wallflowers. Etc. Etc.

Read what I wrote again. "Good looking women are no different than anybody else"...not that "all good looking woman are in fact stuck on their good looks and secretly are all terribly insecure." That's just as much a fallacy as saying that all good looking women are nasty ice-queens. People are PEOPLE and in many ways we're very, very much the same, and yet we're all quite different from one another. It's just as much a mistake to judge a good looking person on ten minutes interaction as it is to judge someone whose cheekbones don't quite measure up, whose skin is not so pristine and whose figure isn't model-material.

I know for a fact that I am smart, articulate and reasonably insightful. I also know that I'm not an Adonis. The fact that I'm not an Adonis may make a difference to many women...I'm not saying that it makes me less attractive, just that it makes a "difference" in the first few hours of contact with her. I have learned that the "Adonis" thing only matters to a few few people; women OR men, for very long. On th elong term, it's very-nearly irrelevant. A woman that honestly did not want to even talk to me casually because I'm not good-looking enough really is not someone I would care to get to know very well, anyway.

What's the implication of all this?

That there IS NO WOMAN WHO IS "OUT OF MY LEAGUE". Matter of fact, nobody is out of my league, period. I'll get to that, later.

I'm hitched to a great lady. ...a GREAT lady. But she's not "out of my league". Nor am I out of hers. We ARE each others "league", ferhevvinssake..

Jessica Simpson is not "Out of My League". She's a woman who happens to be very good looking and makes a lot of money because of that. OK, but how about the REST of her? How about Jessic Simpson when she's 60 years old? I don't know anything about Jessica Simpson. Or Halle Berry, or Julia Roberts, or Condi Rice, or Madonna, or Hilary Clinton, or Ann Sophie von Otter or Dame Judith Dench or Michelle Kwan ..or...or...or...or.

They're just PEOPLE. They're people with skills and talents and abilities and attributes JUST LIKE ME. Some are smarter, some are better looking, some are stronger/faster/more graceful, some have special talents, but they all make mistakes, they all have moments of joy and moments of despair, they all are Human Beings.

Just like me. Just like the woman I chose to be my partner. NO human being is "out of my league". We are all human beings. The same goes for men. George Bush, Al Gore, Bruce Springsteen, Sean Connory, Ewan MacGregor, Mick Jagger, the President of Stanford University... these guys are not BETTER than I am. They put their pants on one leg at a time, or strap their kilts on one buckle at a time, just like I do. Their roles in the world may limit their time such that they don't have time to be my best buddy, and in fact I might not LIKE THEM, nor they like me very much were we to get to know one anothe.....and in fact I might not even RESPECT them, but they are not "OUT OF MY LEAGUE".

We're all people.

OK, big segue, here. Brace Yourself...WHOOOAAAAHHH...

I just happen to have enough self confidence to wear a kilt in "modern North American Society". That takes a smidgen of self-confidence and the willingness to deal with a few ramifications which have turned out to be mostly positive and not negtive at all. But who knew that, going in? Anyway, it takes some self-confidence. Not tons, but some, and a particular sort of self confidence.

This self-confidence doesn't make me "better" or "wiser" or "stronger" or even "More MANLY"...wait, I haven't shouted that word loud enough...hang on..

MANLY!......there., *whew*...

....than anyone else. It's just part of who I am. So obviously, the fact that I wear kilts doesn't put me out of anybody else's league, either.

So....that world view shows a certain mindset, doesn't it? It shows some degree of self-confidence, some measure of assurrance. If you wear a kilt, then it stands to reason that you have some measure of the same sort of assurrance that I have.

Therefore, NO man, and NO woman is "Out of your league". That doesn't mean that you start disrespecting everyone's privacy, or you don't respect people's accomplishments. It doesn't mean that you stop having your breath taken away by a beautiful woman, or admire the insight and organizational ability that it takes to lead a University or a State or a Country (*ahem*). It doesn't mean that you don't thrill to a magnificent performance by an actor/actress or athelete...or admire the intelligence of a scholastic work. It just means that you accept, with wisdom, the roles, skills and talents of all people, cede respect for what deserves respect and admiration, and realize that in fact we are all in this together.

...and then you strap on your kilt and go about your day.

**Prester John** · 18th February 06, 01:32 PM

Keep goin!

**Richland** · 18th February 06, 02:08 PM

Ok?..........

**Southern Breeze** · 18th February 06, 02:13 PM

Could you repeat that? I wasn't paying attention.

Just kidding! Great thoughts, thanks for sharing them.

**furrycelt** · 18th February 06, 03:41 PM

Well said Alan. This of course explains why this forum is so populated by above par people.

-ian

**NewKilt** · 18th February 06, 04:54 PM

Originally Posted by Alan H

Therefore, NO man, and NO woman is "Out of your league". That doesn't mean that you start disrespecting everyone's privacy, or you don't respect people's accomplishments. It doesn't mean that you stop having your breath taken away by a beautiful woman, or admire the insight and organizational ability that it takes to lead a University or a State or a Country (*ahem*). It doesn't mean that you don't thrill to a magnificent performance by an actor/actress or athelete...or admire the intelligence of a scholastic work. It just means that you accept, with wisdom, the roles, skills and talents of all people, cede respect for what deserves respect and admiration, and realize that in fact we are all in this together.

...and then you strap on your kilt and go about your day.

I think Alan's post is very insightful. I think we all come to realize this more as we interact with people of different ages, and different walks of life. Certainly while exterior physical beauty is something we can instantly admire, it really has a somewhat short duration. Internal beauty - who we really are endures a lifetime.

One of my best friends in high school was a very overwheight girl, whoose face was quite ordinary. I often had other boys (and girls) ask we why I associated with her. I would respond, "because she's beautiful."

Darrell

**Robin** · 18th February 06, 05:09 PM

Alan...I hear you!

What you wrote is very recognizable...what you wrote before (your encounters)...also.

I'm 45...when a lady aged 70 makes a nice remark...I smile...when a "too good to be true" lassie makes a nice remark...I smile for the rest of the day.

This happens rather often, so I'm smiling 24/7 since I'm a full timer :rolleyes:

My retarted boss likes to make fun of me...he called me a transvestite / crossdresser...that's perfectly fine. He's narrow minded, his problem...not mine.
The waitresses (my co workers) love to see me kilted...they know better!

This is not the reason I wear the kilt, but it's a nice bonus

Cheers!

**CameronTaylor** · 18th February 06, 08:02 PM

That was one of the funnest (yes it is, I said it, that makes it a word - I am THAT dog ...) reads I've had in many a while. Thanks Alan.
Now write some more ...

CT - please and carrots

**KiltedCodeWarrior** · 18th February 06, 08:10 PM

Alan,

Getting mighty deep these days. Got a new bottle of Laphroaig??

Seriously, those who decide to wear a kilt in the face of the opposition of the world are necessarily going to have some common traits. Is anybody "better than me"? No, but I held that viewpoint before I ever donned a kilt. Maybe that is common for the others out there and is part of the personality that wears a kilt. I will allow that there are people who have accomplished more than me, I'm not president of the US, PM of the UK, spiritual head of a church, or CEO of a large company, but that does not make them better, and in some cases they are poorer than I. I have a good career, wonderful wife, 2 great daughters, make enough money to be comfortable, and am respected by my friends and colleagues. What more should I expect?

And Alan, from what I know of you, you are similarly happy with your own life. Maybe in the final analysis being happy with what and who you are is the key. Envy of others is counter-productive.