Another nite of kilted conquest!

**Kilted KT** · 14th May 06, 10:01 AM

Where to begin...
friday night I met up with a fraternity brother of mine, and we ventured into the land o' pubs. Being that he was single, and I married, I assumed the position of faithful wingman...tasked to eliminate any competition he may have.

So, after he called a few lassies, we headed to one of the local hole-in-the-wall pubs, Another Round. the place is very small, but definitly a cool place to be. The time was around 9pm ish. Here is where the fun starts.

As we walked in, the bouncer checking id's commented that the kilt was great, and he had once owned a kilt, but had lost it at Mardi Gras. We spent a good long time trying to figure out what happened, but to no avail. He had great recollection of getting off the plan in New Orleans and then getting off the plane in TUlsa. The rest was a blur. Good fun, though.

We finally got into the bar, and one of the women he called was there with a guy named John. She half-expected the kilt ( Blackwatch ebay tank..soooo comfortable!) and only made a few jokes. John, on the other hand, was blown away. He, being 1/4 scots, went five different types of crazy, talking about scotland, how he needs to get a kilt, and all kinds of relevant yet insane talk. He even called his mother twice to get more info about his grandfather.

As this was going on, the owner of the bar approached me, and gave me a 15 minute speach about how I was a really big guy and he didn't want any fights because someone made an off-color coment about the kilt. It too quite a bit of reassurance to get him to understand that there was almost a zero chance of me getting in to a fight because of some stupid comment.

Now things get really interesting. By this time I'd had maybe half a pint, and John decides that he needs a shot. John tells me that in honor of the kilt, he will let me decide the shot, and buy me one to match. Of course I asked the bartender for two doubles of his finest single malt ( glenlivit was the best he could do..) and I warned John that you enjoyed this one..didn't shoot it. He didn't heed my warning, and threw the whole thing back. The next half hour he looked like the guy from the "bitter beer face" commercials. He wasn't a happy camper, but he kept the free beer coming. So far I hand't spent a nickel, and had a fine dram or two o' scotch and a few pints.

After this, a group of young lassies (all extremely attractive, mind you) beg for a picture to post on myspace.com. Of course I oblidge, but I was unable to get the site it was to be posted on. if I find it I'll post it here.

John, at this time, decided it is time for another shot. Being that John was attempting to move in on the girl my brother was there to meet, I figured it was time to send him home. Ordered up a little shot called a Royal Baccardi Rumplemeister. It is pure evil ina glass, being 1/2 shot each of Baccardi 151, Crown Royal, Rumplemintz and Jeagermeister mixed in a double shot glass.
He took the shot...acted like he had been shot in the chest with a shotgun, called his ex-girlfriend five minutes later and got a ride home. Mission accomplished.

So, My brother was actively making progress with his lady, so I start making my way through the bar, looking for other people I knew. About this time the gentleman from the Oakley store who sold me my wonderful boots grabs my shoulder and makes it very certain I knew he was there. Not only did he remember me from the kilt, but he also remembered my whole name! He then proceeded to purchase another pint for me ( total spent thusfar...0$), of which I was grateful. After some chit chat, he asked about the boots. I explained that they weren't as waterproof as claimed. He immediatly said I need to head to the store when he next worked, and he would "take care of the problem". I thanked him immensely, and wound up spending the next hour hanging out with he and his friends.

Cost tally so far: me = $0
everyone else (including boots) = $210 ish

it's about midnight or so, and my fraternity brother had by this time signaled that he was leaving with the lady. I wished him luck, and went back to my pint. The gent from the Oakley store and his friends were heading accross the street to the dance club, and asked me along, so we moved venues. After the $5 cover charge and first pint, I had actually spent $10 for the night so far.

Cost tally so far: me = $10
everyone else (including boots) = $220 ish

The gent from Oakley disappeared in the sea of bodies, so I made my way to the sound booth. There was a decent live band, and the sound booth is the best place to watch the performance. The sound man was also blown away by the kilt. After talking about kilts and scotland for about 20 minutes, he decided that I needed another pint, and asked me to watch the sound gear for a while. He gave me a quick lesson on how to run the sound board and vanished. I don't quite understand the connection between wearing a kilt and running sound for a live band, but it worked. 15 minutes later he came back...and said the band sounded great. He dropped off a pint, and vanished again. The band played for another half hour, then were done for the night.
The sound guy decided to come back now, after the show. Said I did great and talked about the kilts a few minutes more.

Cost tally so far: me = $10
everyone else (including boots) = $230 ish

About this time the lights came on, and the bar was closing down. I was approached by a ladie looking for some "action", which I quickly sent away. Not more than a minute or two later, a group of women approached and asked it I would like to go to a lesbian party. Regardless of any thoughts that ran through my mind, I also declined and figured now was a good time to head home, before any other strange requests headed my way.

final tally me $15
everyone else $250ish

overall it was a really fun night, and far less costly than anyone would have expected. All thanks to an 8 yard piece of wool wrapped around my waist!

kilt on!

**morgan** · 14th May 06, 10:59 AM

If this usually happens when you go out kilted, I must go out kilted more often.

....great story.

**Macman** · 14th May 06, 10:59 AM

What a great night! I wish I'd been there, instead of sitting at home with a wee dram watching "Tunes of Glory" for the umpteenth time. Sounds like you had fun and kept a wise head too - guid on ya!

**Rex_Tremende** · 14th May 06, 11:15 AM

Sounds like a lot of fun, you did your jobs well, and were rewarded for it. There's just one thing I don't understand, however:

Originally Posted by Kilted KT

...the owner of the bar approached me, and gave me a 15 minute speach about how I was a really big guy and he didn't want any fights because someone made an off-color coment about the kilt.

Why do you suppose the guy lectured you about someone else's bad behavior that hadn't even occurred yet?

Regards,
Rex in Cincinnati

**Kilted KT** · 14th May 06, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by Rex_Tremende

Sounds like a lot of fun, you did your jobs well, and were rewarded for it. There's just one thing I don't understand, however:

Why do you suppose the guy lectured you about someone else's bad behavior that hadn't even occurred yet?

Regards,
Rex in Cincinnati

That I'm not sure about. I guess some people think I'm big ( 6'3, 220ish lbs), but why they think I would get into a fight because someone makes a comment about the kilt is beyond me. Only fight two reasons I'll fight: 1. Someone is trying to dishonor my wife or close friends. 2. Someone physically attacks me. If I were in the military there would be a third, but I'm not.

I'm real easy going, very little would get me mad. I guess he had never seen unwritten rule #1: Don't F with the guy in the kilt.

**Kilted KT** · 14th May 06, 12:09 PM

Originally Posted by morgan

If this usually happens when you go out kilted, I must go out kilted more often.

....great story.

yup, if you can keep your wits about you when out to the pubs, this sort of thing happens ( at least to me) most of the time.

**Riverkilt** · 14th May 06, 12:42 PM

Great story until the part about declining the lesbians....my heart sunk...them ladies is usually pretty cool....guess your wife wouldn't believe you though...

Wish I woulda known this before I quit drinking....guess that's why the Ol' Coyote held off on kilts for me....if I woulda had kilts when I was drinkin' that free booze woulda killed me for sure.

Great story, thank for passing it on.

ROn

**mrpharr** · 14th May 06, 12:59 PM

I'll have to pass this story on to my non-kilted friends. I'm sure the kilt would come in handy on dates.

**cessna152towser** · 14th May 06, 01:05 PM

Great report, KT. Like Riverkilt, I no longer drink any alcohol - there comes an age when your body starts telling you its had enough of the stuff and you know you must stop - but feel free to enjoy while you are young!!!